It couldn’t possibly be morning. It just couldn’t. Kitty groaned as she opened her eyes.
Alejandro was already up, dressed in jeans and looking gorgeous as he held a mug towards her. How had she slept through his getting up? She always woke when he did—and not just in the morning, but in the middle of the night when he had those dreams that made his whole body flinch and her heart ache because she didn’t know how to help him. The dreams that seemed to be occurring more and more frequently and were more and more frightening for him.
‘Coffee?’
‘Oh, no, thanks.’ She tried to turn her grimace into a smile and rolled over so he couldn’t see how bad her attempt was. But the smell was making her gag. She screwed her eyes tight shut and wished she was back in that warm, deep sleep. Yesterday, as the day had worn on she’d felt better, but once again she’d woken feeling so very tired. And queasy as—
Her eyes flashed open and she stared at the white wall of his cosy private bedroom. Queasy?
Her mouth filled with bitter spit and she forced herself to swallow it back without moving. Her feminine intuition had kicked in way too late. When was her cycle due? She frowned. She was usually pretty regular and she should have had her period at the end of that first week that Alejandro had been in New York. But she hadn’t had it and she’d been so distracted she’d not stopped to think about it at all. Until now.
‘I thought I’d take the day off,’ Alejandro said huskily as he sat on the edge of the bed. ‘Thought I’d come with you on your sightseeing trip today.’
Her heart would have leapt if it wasn’t too busy beating at a billion thuds per second.
‘Oh.’ No.
Not today. Not this. Oh, please, not this.
She shrank into the mattress as her mind scurried. She needed time to figure herself out. Time to reassure herself that she was panicking over nothing and only having an irregular few weeks or something. Her pulse hammered in her ears as she tried to think of an excuse to put him off. ‘I’m still feeling tired—I think I need to sleep some more. Maybe later today?’
But he’d offered to take time from work and spend it with her—and she had to turn him down...? She bit her lip, holding the heartbreak and fear inside.
‘Are you okay?’ He leaned over her and looked at her intently. ‘Do you need to see a doctor?’
‘No,’ she lied and avoided his eyes. ‘I’m just tired.’ She forced a coy smile. ‘I guess I’m not used to the all-night bedroom antics the way you are.’
She felt him withdraw at that flippant comment, but she hardened her heart. She had to have a couple of hours to herself this morning because she was too anxious to maintain a facade of carelessness until later.
‘Text me later then.’ Alejandro stood. ‘I’ll see where I’m at.’
‘Okay.’ She forced herself to snuggle back down in the bed.
He paused on his way out of the room, then turned and walked back to where she was, now almost totally hidden in a tight huddle under the sheets. ‘Rest well.’
He pressed his lips to hers. At first she was too scared to be able to relax into the kiss but then that warmth flooded her, overwhelming her as it always did. As he always did.
But the moment she heard the door close she sprang out of bed, ignoring the return of the bitter taste in her mouth.
She quickly dressed and then took the elevator down to the ground floor. She smiled confidently at the doorman as he held the door for her to leave the building. She wasn’t going to make the mistake of asking him for help finding a pharmacy—that information would be bound to filter back to Alejandro at some point.
She strode along the busy pavement, trying to look as if she knew where she was going. Down two blocks she finally stopped and asked a café worker for assistance.
Five minutes later she handed over the cash for the home pregnancy test. Her fingers were freezing and she almost dropped the change. The chances were so very low, right?
But their first time in that secret room... Surely there’d be only the slightest risk from that? He’d pulled out before he’d orgasmed. How unlucky could they be if a baby had been conceived in that so-brief moment?
Back in his apartment the result flashed almost immediately.
Pregnant.
Kitty stared fixedly at the result, her brain working overtime. She repeated the test. And got the same result.
All kinds of emotions swooped in so quickly she felt faint. She sat down on the floor of the gleaming bathroom. This could not be happening.
But it was. Slowly, a feeling of utter certainty and conviction stole over her, giving her an unexpected sense of calm.
She ran her hand over her still-flat belly. There was a tiny life in there. Alejandro’s child. Her heart almost burst beneath a wave of unconditional, absolute love. Her muscles flexed in a surge of protectiveness. And suddenly she didn’t feel unlucky at all.
But then she thought of Alejandro and how he would react to this. Her ballooning heart ruptured and she gasped as she realised the hurt they both faced.
This was the very last thing he wanted and it was the very last thing she wanted to do to him.
He didn’t want this. He didn’t really want her—not for good. Her eyes filled as she realised the happiness she’d felt in the last few days had just been a facade.
She quickly stood. She had no time for tears. She had to leave. She had to think about how she was going to handle everything before telling him. She had to have a sure plan in place before she could even face him.
Galvanised into action, she methodically packed her clothing and left the building again with another confident wave at the doorman. She rounded the corner of the block before hailing a cab and heading to the airport. She used the last of the available credit on her card to buy a ticket for the next flight back to London.
She switched her phone off and left it off—from the time she left his apartment, through all the hours during the flight and the time she travelled across London. When she switched it on to phone Teddy, it rang immediately.
Alejandro.
Her heart spasmed. But she didn’t answer it yet. She couldn’t. Not until she’d figured out a plan that would work. He didn’t want marriage, he didn’t want children and she knew he wasn’t going to change that stance—not for her. But she had that tiny fear that he would try to ‘do the right thing’—that he would be as chivalrous and generous as she knew him to be.
So she had to show him that she could handle all of this on her own. That it would make no difference to his life. That he could remain free.
The fact was, he would have lost interest in her soon enough anyway. She’d been that temporary aberration, a different kind of fling for him. But her heart sputtered in a last little fight at that thought—she’d started to believe it might be something a little more special than that.
But that wishful thought could never be tested now because she would never use this pregnancy to lay any kind of claim on him. She had to shut him out for now, until she’d proven her total independence.
‘Kitty?’ Teddy sounded puffed as he answered her call on only the second ring.
‘Yeah—’
‘Alejandro has been calling me round the clock wanting to know if I knew where you were and if you’re okay. Are you okay?’
She closed her eyes. ‘I need your help. Please. Where are you right now?’
Teddy spoke rapidly, his concern audible, but she couldn’t tell him anything yet either—only that she needed a safe haven, an
d quickly. She didn’t stop at Parkes House—she went straight to Teddy. And, from him, to a train.
It was another ninety minutes after seeing Teddy before she summoned the strength and courage necessary to phone Alejandro himself. By now she’d been operating on automatic flight mode for so long, it wasn’t difficult to sound detached. And that was good. She just had to keep blocking the pain for a few moments longer.
‘Where the hell are you?’ Alejandro demanded as soon as he heard her voice. ‘Kitty, what’s happened?’
‘Nothing. I just realised I’d made a mistake and wanted to return to London.’
‘A mistake?’ he queried harshly.
‘It’s over, Alejandro.’ She couldn’t get her voice above a whisper.
‘What kind of mistake?’
‘Coming to New York with you. Us having an affair.’
There was a pause.
‘Is there someone else?’ he asked, a different tone in his voice. Fear.
Kitty shut her eyes tightly and grasped hold of the excuse he’d just handed her. ‘Yes.’
‘I don’t believe you,’ he said bluntly. ‘Something’s happened. Tell me what’s happened.’
She swallowed and repeated her stance, determined to stick to her game plan for forcing him away from her. ‘It’s very simple. I’ve met someone else. I wanted to tell you before you found out some other way. It was fun while it lasted.’
Alejandro stopped pacing across the floor of his empty apartment and listened harder, trying to ascertain something—anything—in the resulting silence.
‘Kitty?’ He couldn’t believe she’d just said that.
Now he replayed the cruel words in his head and realised that they echoed those he’d said to Saskia those few short weeks ago. Saskia and every other woman before her. The irony wasn’t lost on him. And now his anger began to build.
Had she done all of this deliberately? Was she out to teach him that ‘lesson’ she’d long ago said he deserved?
‘You’re back in London?’ Now he’d heard from her and could tell that—physically at least—she was safe, he was sure of it. ‘I’m on the next flight.’