She stared. ‘Because it was…so fundamental.’
‘No.’ He shook his head. Took another step nearer, his voice another notch louder. ‘It’s not. This isn’t some goal, Sienna. It isn’t meant to happen and you know that.’
The thing she wanted most was the thing she didn’t want the most. Torn and trapped by her conflicting emotions and by his relentless advance across the room, she stood immobile and mute.
‘No one truly wants a lonely life. Not many people choose to reject the possibility, the hope of love. You say you want to live every moment to the full and yet you won’t let someone share it with you? I never thought you of all people would be so defeatist!’ With each word his volume increased. They’d be hearing him up at the ruins. Sienna could hardly bear to hear him at all.
‘People like me didn’t spend years studying, years working to fix you, for you to then chicken out. You are whole, Sienna. And you have to let yourself live a whole life.’ He stopped right in front of her, breathing hard, eyes glued to hers.
She was afraid to move. ‘I’m broken, Rhys.’
‘No, you’re not.’ He gave a half-smile and a half-shrug. ‘No more than me. No more than most other people.’
‘You’d always want to take care of me.’
‘Of course I would. I love you. And I expect you to take care of me too. But I’ve never stifled you, Sienna, and I never will. When you’re booking your flight in the helicopter, make sure my seat’s right next to yours.’
‘You want to go with me?’
‘Everywhere.’
Her eyes watered. Could she really have it all? For so long she’d thought not and this was too much. She pressed her palms together, tried to take some deeper breaths. She couldn’t seem to think any more. She felt frozen on the edge of a precipice and she didn’t know if she was going to be able to take the leap.
‘You know what I think?’
She looked at him, unable to voice the question.
‘I think you’re scared. Scared to really let yourself fall.’
Of course she was scared. Terrified. Petrified. Far more fear in her here than any stupid snake or spider could arouse.
‘I’m scared too—the whole thing is crazy. We’ve known each other what—a week? But this is right, you know it is. Let’s live now, Sienna. Jump with me.’
He wasn’t going to let it go. Wasn’t going to let her go. She tried to speak. Twisted her lips even. But failed to produce sound.
He stepped nearer. Spoke softly this time. ‘It’s too late, you know, we’re already in free fall.’
At last, squeaky and raw, her voice worked again. ‘Do you think either of us remembered a parachute?’
He took her hands in his, held them firm, and smiled. ‘Honey, you are my parachute, and I’m yours. So long as we hold onto each other, we’ll be fine. I’ve never been more certain of anything. You’ve turned me on—and I don’t just mean that.’ He grinned. ‘You make the trees sing, the air sweet. You make my life. Hell, I don’t know how to say it.’
‘You’re doing OK so far.’ The tears overflowed, two fat trails tripping down her cheeks, followed rapidly by twin rivers.
‘No fear, remember?’
She returned the grip of his hands, needing to be honest about what frightened her most. ‘One day the mechanical bit in this heart might need replacing. I might have to be opened up again.’
‘Maybe. And if that happens I’ll be holding your hand when you go under.’
Her eyes snapped to his. Intently she focused on him. ‘Holding someone’s hand can be the best thing you can do for them. The only thing you can do.’ She squeezed his tightly, whispered, ‘So they’re not alone.’
The shadow darkened his eyes and she knew he thought of Theo. ‘Yeah.’ She knew he understood. The hint of green appeared again as he looked at her. ‘Well, I’ll be holding your hand when you wake up too.’
She smiled, a little wan, but right back at him. ‘Apparently I can get a little stroppy when I wake up.’
He released her, lifting his fingers to frame her face. ‘It’ll be a good challenge.’
One of her hands crept up and held his to her cheek, the other curled against her chest. ‘Then, for as long as it’s beating, this heart is staying right beside you.’
The kiss was the sweetest she’d ever experienced. He held her face to his and as their lips joined it was as if their very souls had opened up and embraced. Warm relief mingled with hot desire. Her knowledge that this being together was the beginning of for ever brought an enduring, unlimited joy. She reached for him, caressed him with both gentleness and strength, wanting to express the depth of her feelings.
Inevitably, the sweetness was overtaken by sensual, strident need. But there was a tacit understanding to keep the brakes on for once. They undressed—item by item, as if unveiling everything to each other for the very first time. The love and wonder in his eyes as magnetic as the raw lust that also registered there. When they lay naked on the bed there was nothing but deep kisses for a long, long time. Murmurs of love and mutters of laughter followed. Then no more talking, just action.
His arms, his body, imprisoned hers, but his love didn’t bind her. He didn’t suffocate her with concern but rather gave her freedom. When she was with him she had the courage to attempt things she’d never before contemplated. While she knew she was whole, having him beside her gave her the push to prove it. Life would never be the same again. Life would never be boring.
‘You know, I had some thoughts about what you could do for a job.’
She managed to open an eye and look half enquiring.
‘If you were serious about doing something positive, I mean.’
‘Yes?’ Both eyes opened and she lifted her head a millimetre off the pillow.
‘Don’t say no straight away. Hear me out.’ He sat up on one elbow, enthusiasm seeming to send energy back to his body. ‘You know how bored kids in hospital get. How scared?’
‘Yes.’
‘And you know how much fun it is to make a big, big noise?’
‘Yes?’
‘Music therapy. I can’t believe you haven’t thought of it yourself.’
She stared at him blankly. Then her mind worked through the suggestion. ‘You mean I go into the hospital and get the kids to bang some drums?’
He beamed. ‘Yeah!’
‘I can’t believe you think I’d want to work in a hospital!’
‘Not just any hospital. My hospital. I’ll be there.’
‘And that makes all the difference?’
‘We can have lunch together.’
‘As if you take lunch breaks.’
‘We can snatch a few moments in the supply room.’ He laughed. ‘Think about it. You know I’m right.’ He stroked her arm. ‘You’d be making a difference.’