‘There’s plenty more to say,’ he argued shortly.
‘Too late. You had your chance.’ She glanced behind her, hoping Tony was less than a block away. But there was no car. No people.
‘Ten minutes,’ he pushed. ‘I’m not letting you go until you listen to me.’ He was silent for a moment. ‘Please.’
At that urgent whisper she turned back to face him. Starved of his company for days, she couldn’t help drinking in his appearance now. He was studying her with that old intensity. Always he’d made her feel as if she were the only thing in the world that mattered.
Not fair. Not true. Not for him.
‘Five minutes,’ she answered flatly.
Only five. Because tendrils of hope were unfurling, reaching out, beginning to bind her back to him. That weak part of her wanted him to take her in his arms and kiss her. Then she might believe he was actually here. That he’d come back for her. But at the same time she knew that if he touched her, she’d be lost.
His smile was small and fleeting and disappeared the second he opened his mouth again. ‘I’m so sorry, Eleni.’
Her heart stopped. Her breath died. She didn’t know if she could take this. Not if he wasn’t here to give her everything.
‘Words said too easily,’ she whispered.
‘That night at the ball—’
‘No,’ she interrupted him furiously. ‘We’re not going back there. You’re not doing this.’
‘Yes, we are. It’s where it all began, Eleni. We can’t forget what’s happened. We can’t ignore—’
‘You already have,’ she argued. ‘You already denied—’
‘I lied,’ he snapped back. ‘Listen to me now. Please. That night was the most extreme case of lust I’ve ever felt,’ he confessed angrily. ‘And for you too. You know how powerful it was. How it is. You never would have let just any man touch you that way, Eleni. You never would have let just any man inside.’
She sucked in a shocked breath.
‘I know I didn’t want to admit it,’ he said. ‘But what’s between us is something much more than that.’ He gazed at her so intently, the blue of his eyes so brilliant it almost blinded her.
But she shook her head. Not for him, it wasn’t.
‘For me too,’ he declared, rejecting her doubts. ‘It was and is, Eleni. I’ve denied it for too long.’ He bent closer, forcing her to look him right in those intense eyes. ‘You were flirtatious, you were shy...so hot and so sweet.’
She winced. She couldn’t bear for him to revisit her inexperience. Her naiveté. He’d thought she had nothing more than a teenage crush on him. He’d felt sorry for her.
‘I belittled you when you told me your feelings,’ he said. ‘I didn’t believe you. I couldn’t...and I’m so sorry I did that to you.’ Somehow he was sitting closer, his voice lower. His gently spoken words hit her roughly. ‘I never should have let you go.’
‘Why shouldn’t you have?’ She succumbed to the hurt of these last intolerably lonely days. ‘You miss having my adoration? My body? My naive protestations of love?’ She was so mortified. The imbalance was so severe. It was so unfair.
‘Not naive.’ He shook his head. ‘Not you. I’m the ignorant one. I didn’t know what love was, Eleni. I’ve never had someone give me what you’ve given me. And like the idiot I am, I didn’t know how to handle it.’ His gaze dropped. ‘I don’t know how to handle you or how I feel about you. It is so...’ He trailed off and dragged in a breath. ‘It’s huge.’ He pressed his fist to his chest. ‘I was overwhelmed and I threw it away like it was a bomb you’d tossed at me.’ His voice dropped to a whisper again. ‘But the fact is, you’d already detonated my world. You took everything I thought I knew and turned it on its head. I thought I had it all together. The career. The occasional woman. The easy stroll through life. No complications. Every success was mine...but you made me feel.’
‘Feel what?’ she asked coldly, twisting her fingers together in her lap, stopping herself from edging anywhere nearer to him. She needed to hear him say so much more. She still couldn’t let herself trust—
‘Need,’ he said rawly. ‘Need to be with someone—to have you to talk to, to laugh with, to show everything, to hold, to just keep me company...to love...’ He trailed off.
‘So this is about your need?’ She sent him a sharp look.
A harsh breath whistled out between his clenched teeth. ‘I don’t know how to be the kind of father that this baby deserves,’ he gritted. ‘I don’t know how to be the kind of husband that you deserve. I have had awful examples of both and for a long time I believed...’ Words failed him again.
Eleni didn’t speak. She couldn’t believe and it was becoming too hard to listen.
‘I never imagined this would happen to me. And for it to be you?’ He visibly paled. ‘You deserve so much more than what I can give you.’
She shook her head, her rage surging. ‘That’s a cop-out, Damon.’
‘You’re a princess—’
‘That’s irrelevant,’ she snapped.
‘I don’t mean your lineage. I mean in here.’ He pressed his fist to his heart again but gazed at her. ‘You’re generous, loyal, loving, true...that’s what I mean. You’re not like other people—’
‘I’m just like other people,’ she argued fiercely. ‘I’m human. Most people are loving and loyal, Damon. Most people are generous and honest.’
That was what he needed to learn and it crushed her that he hadn’t learned it as he should have, that his life had been so devoid of normal family love.
‘I’m nothing special,’ she added.
‘You’re special to me!’ he bellowed back at her. ‘You’re more generous, more loyal, more loving than anyone I’ve ever met and all I want is to be near you. You don’t value yourself the way that you should.’
But she did now. She did, because of him. That was what he’d taught her. That was why she’d walked away from him. Because she knew what it was to truly love. And that she deserved more than he’d wanted to give her.
‘Yes, I do,’ she flung back at him brokenly. ‘That’s why I’m back in Palisades.’ That was why she’d left him when it had almost killed her to do so. Because staying would have been an even more painful experience. She wasn’t going to settle for less. Not now. Not from him. She couldn’t exist settling for less from him. ‘That’s why I couldn’t stay with you. Because I do need...’
The words stuck in her throat as the pain seeped out. She knew he’d been hurt, but that he couldn’t push past it for her? That hurt her.
He was staring into her eyes but his face blurred as her tears spilled—hot, fast, unstoppable, stupid tears.
‘I’m so sorry, darling, so sorry I did this to you.’ He reached out as she tried to turn away from him. His fingers were gentle as he captured her close and wiped the tears from her face. ‘Please don’t say I’m too late. It can’t be too late. Because I love you, Eleni. Do you understand? I love you, I do.’ He leaned closer as she remained silent. ‘Eleni, please don’t cry. Please listen to me.’
Her breath shuddered as she tried to still, needing to hear him.
His hands framed her face and he kept talking in those desperate hushed tones. ‘Until you, I had no idea what love was—what it means, how to show it. And I want to love you, so much, but I don’t know where to start. I don’t know how to make this right. I’m begging you here, Eleni. How do I become the man you need?’
‘You’re already what I nee
d,’ she whispered hoarsely, so annoyed that he still didn’t get it. ‘You’re everything I need. Just you. You’re enough exactly as you are.’ That was what he needed to learn too. ‘And you have started.’ She pushed past the ache in her throat. ‘By showing up. By being here.’
By coming back for her.
He stared at her for a moment and then with the gentlest of fingertips he traced down her cheekbone. She struggled to quell her tremors at his tenderness.
‘See? So generous,’ he murmured, almost to himself. But then he cleared his throat and leaned that bit closer, his gaze fierce and unwavering. ‘I love you, Eleni.’
Once again he said it. What she’d been too afraid to believe she’d really heard. And the words weren’t whispered, they were strong, almost defiant.
He shook her gently. ‘Did you hear me?’
* * *
Two more tears slowly rolled down her cheeks.
‘I am so, so sorry it has taken me so long to figure it out. I miss you like—’ He closed his eyes briefly but she’d already seen the stark pain. He opened them to stare hard at her. To try again. ‘These past couple of weeks have been—’
That weak scab across her heart tore as he choked up in front of her. He couldn’t find the words. She understood why—it was indescribable for her too.
‘I know,’ she whispered.
A small sigh escaped him. ‘I don’t deserve it, but please be patient with me. Talk to me. Talk like you did that hideous day you left me. I need your honesty... I just need you.’
She drew in a shaky breath, because she wanted to believe him so much. But she needed to understand. ‘What changed? What brought you back?’
‘Misery,’ he said simply. ‘I was so lonely and it hurt so much and I tried to escape it—you—but I couldn’t. And finally I got thinking again.’ He shook his head as if he were clearing the fog. ‘I haven’t been able to think clearly since that first second I saw you...it’s just been blind instinct and gut reaction—equal parts lust and terror. I’d got so defensive and then, when I could finally think, I realised you were right. About everything. But I’d pushed you away. You’re worth listening to, Eleni,’ he whispered roughly, edging closer to her again. ‘When you told me you loved me, I couldn’t believe you... I was scared.’