He kissed her as they were driven back to his penthouse. He didn’t make it to the bedroom—pulling her to the floor to satisfy the searing lust that overcame him. Her enthusiasm for life literally had him on his knees.
She laughed, and her emerging playfulness arrested his heart. So he worked until she screamed. And then he carried her to his bed and did it all again, until she sighed and drifted off in sated, exhausted slumber.
But he couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t shake the sensation of impending loss. It knocked against his ribcage, trying to break in and hit the block inside that was his heart. He wasn’t going to let it in.
Hours later, he was still awake. Still bothered by a worry he couldn’t define, still feeling uneasy at the intensity with which he needed to be with Katie.
Maybe he needed to restore his usual routine—he couldn’t ignore the rest of his life for ever. Katie seemed settled, happy, they were managing the moment just fine... Things could return to normal, right?
* * *
‘I need to go into the office. I’ve avoided it too long.’ Alessandro walked into the kitchen early, looking far too fine in his navy suit and tie.
‘Sure thing.’ Katie masked her disappointment with a smile. ‘I promise not to burn the place down while you’re gone.’
‘Great. Then I’ll see you later.’
She couldn’t quite look at him as he left, and their goodbye was too awkward. They weren’t anything like a normal newly married couple.
She worked in the kitchen for a while as a distraction. It wasn’t quite enough, so she phoned Susan as well.
‘Lemon filling today,’ she said, and smiled as she held the phone under chin and stirred the mixture at the same time. ‘I think it’s pretty good. I’ll bring some to you in a few days.’
‘You’ll be able to see the Madame Hardy rose that’s just bloomed.’
‘The white one?’ Katie had her head around all the herbs, but the roses not so much. And in this old familiar chat her heart ached. She missed her foster mother. ‘I can come and see you today, if you like. The train wouldn’t take—’
‘No, darling,’ her foster mother said softly. ‘You should be with your husband.’
Should she?
She knew her foster mother was as old-fashioned as the roses she grew, but Katie couldn’t understand how Susan could accept Brian’s controlling behaviour. How could she not see his lack of kindness? Katie wasn’t as forgiving. She wasn’t as accepting of...less.
Alessandro’s image flickered in her mind. She pushed down the wave of discomfort. What they were doing wasn’t less, wasn’t it?
Distractedly she ended the call to Susan, then walked through the apartment. She wished he hadn’t gone to work—she missed him a stupid amount already and he’d only been gone a few hours.
She tiptoed to his study, unable to resist her curiosity. It wasn’t as neat as she’d expected. Various folders were scattered over a table in the centre of the room. She recognised the names on some of them—buildings he owned, mostly. But then she spotted one with her name on the front. It was set to the side of the others and not hidden at all. A sticky note on the top had a reminder written on it: Get Katie to sign.
Her heart skipped a beat, then sped up. In Italy he’d said the White Oaks paperwork would be ready for her when they returned to England. She opened the cover and blinked at the number of pages inside. It wasn’t just the documents about his purchase of White Oaks. There was more—about them.
Three pages detailed all the options for declaring their marriage voidable if they wanted to seek an annulment. She glanced at the date at the bottom. It had been written the morning after their marriage. There was also a draft divorce agreement. She blinked at all the zeroes on the pay-out figure she was to receive on settlement. Cold sweat filmed her forehead. The inevitable end of their marriage was presented here with perfect clarity, in simple black and white.
Why had he wanted to do all this so soon after that hideous wedding? Why was he being so financially generous upon her release?
Because he wanted to be free and he’d needed to know the best way to proceed.
He’d never intended on going through with their marriage of convenience in the beginning. He’d only strung her along to get her far enough away from Brian for her to be able to think clearly. He’d openly admitted that. Only then they’d had that message about the engagement announcement and she’d got scared. And he’d whisked her up the aisle to stop her breaking down.
He’d given in.
He’d even given her the sex she’d wanted. He’d known she’d wanted that right from the start. No doubt an experienced man like Alessandro always knew. Besides, women always wanted sex from him.
She’d been so naive. She was his pity project—his Cinderella. He’d dressed her up, he’d taken her to parties, he’d even helped develop possibilities for her own company, had believed in her skill... He’d been soothing over all her insecurities because beneath that arrogant playboy persona he was actually a nice guy. And of course he had to protect his company, his own interests, his name. He couldn’t let this marriage fall apart too soon. He’d been keeping her happy.
But all the intimacy they’d shared was based on a sham. And it had always been going to end.
She stalked through the apartment, unable to release the frenetic energy that was coiling tightly within her. She needed to take action. She’d thought she’d escaped the restrictions of her old life, but in reality she’d ceded control of everything to Alessandro the second she’d sought him out. While he’d done all she’d asked, and then some, he’d always had his exit plan, and he’d want her to sign on the dotted line eventually.
She needed to reclaim not just her own future but her own now.
She ought to feel free. White Oaks was secure, Susan was happy and cared for, and she’d silenced Brian and knew she could now ignore him. She had everything, right?
No. Now she knew what she really wanted. A real relationship. She didn’t want to be with a man she’d bargained into marrying her. She wanted to be with someone who actually wanted her—only her—for her. That wasn’t Alessandro. He didn’t love her. She wasn’t what he wanted, and she wasn’t enough for him. She’d known that from the start, but somehow she’d forgotten for a while—he was so seductive, so good at making her feel good.
This reminder of reality hurt.
She dragged in a shivering breath. It hurt a lot.
She’d been the one to initiate that kiss in the orchard. Alessandro probably hadn’t wanted to reject her at that moment because she’d already been crying. She’d even asked him for it—for escape, for solace. He hadn’t said no because he was too kind.
And she’d asked again back at his apartment. In fact, she’d demanded. Again he’d said yes. For a moment she’d felt all that warmth and intimacy and believed in unions and love. But that didn’t mean he cared for her in any great way. No more than he cared for any other woman who’d been in his life.
The guy adored sex. He was the first to admit that. It wasn’t an expression of love, it was physical pleasure—escape and release. Even when he’d said it was different with her, he’d still meant it was only physical. Her instincts after their first time together had been right. She’d known it would mean more to her.
Anger shot through her. Why didn’t she ever get it all? Why was she never enough?
She’d not been wanted by her birth family. Not wanted by Brian. Not wanted enough by Susan for her to really fight for her...
And Alessandro would want someone else very soon.
He had no intention of this relationship lasting. He nev
er had.
She’d been starved of attention for so much of her life she’d been willing to accept anything he cared to offer her. That made her more like Susan than she’d realised. But, worse than that, she’d been like Brian too—using Alessandro, taking advantage of his innate generosity.
The realisation hurt.
She had to deal with it. She couldn’t maintain this facsimile of a marriage. Couldn’t stick around waiting for him to get bored and pull out the divorce document. No more lies, no more pretence. There had to be nothing but honesty.
Three hours later she froze halfway down the hall as she heard the door unlock.
‘Katie?’ Alessandro paused just over the threshold, a wary expression stealing over his face as he studied her. ‘What’s with the scared rabbit look? Is everything okay?’
Nothing was okay.
‘What’s happened?’ He closed the door behind him, his eyes narrowing on the overnight bag she’d placed by the entrance. ‘Are you going somewhere?’
‘I need to leave, Alessandro.’
‘Leave? Why?’ His expression sharpened. ‘Is it Susan? You need me to take you to her?’
His concern shattered her. ‘It’s not that. I can’t ever thank you enough for helping me with her. But you were right,’ she said softly. ‘I didn’t need to get married to help her. I don’t have to feel like I owe everyone everything. Not even you. I can just say no.’
‘So you’re saying no to me? To us? Just like that?’ He cleared his throat and walked towards her. ‘You’ve just decided it’s over?’
She held her hands together tightly. ‘You asked your lawyer to check the validity of our marriage.’
He checked his pace and then breathed out. ‘Is that what this is about? You looked at the paperwork?’
‘There was a lot of it. You explored all the options.’