Amalia was staying with her in the main villa while a security guard stayed in the gatehouse at the edge of the property. Leah knew the older woman was worried about her. But she needn’t be. Things were fine. How could they not be when she now lived in this breathtaking place with its crisply white, curved buildings and stunning clear blue waters? The view was unbelievable—all sea, all sky. Every day she watched the sun rise and then later set, a beautiful blinding blaze set against that backdrop of brilliant blue. It was gorgeously warm, sweet and spicy wild herbs scented the air and she’d never known a place as perfect could exist. Theo had been right.
But the beauty broke her heart all the more, because it was something that screamed to be shared.
But there’d be no wallowing in bed and weeping. During the day, her determination held. She swam in the pool or at the private beach, then walked to the nearby village. Initially she’d greeted the locals with only a smile and a smattering of her appalling Greek but already a few of the women now stopped to talk for longer. Theo had been right about that too.
When she returned to the villa, she worked on plans. At first it had been purely for distraction. But as she’d thought about it more, a tiny spark had flared and now she was all in. Theo had been right to get her thinking more about that was well. Why shouldn’t she create some kind of business with her knitting and pattern designs? Some kind of community? Her enthusiasm for that consumed the daylight hours.
But the tears came in the small hours when she was too tired and sleepless and sad to stop them. The loneliness was like nothing she’d experienced because she’d had a glimpse of what could’ve been. She missed him on so many levels. He’d made more than just her body come alive; he’d made her laugh. He’d been fun, intelligent, attentive and so caring, even though he couldn’t see that in himself.
But he’d not been effortlessly falling into love the way she had. And she was not going to lie—that hurt. She couldn’t want love from someone unable—and unwilling—to give it. She couldn’t stay, knowing she wasn’t enough for the person she wanted that unconditional love from. It had been hard enough being a disappointment to her parents.
At least Theo hadn’t lied. And who was she to try to change him?
Every time a helicopter swept overhead she stiffened with nerves. Would he ever come see her or was he going to ignore her for ever? There’d been no helicopters at all today. The sun was high and she’d got too hot even in the shade outside, so she’d gone to her bedroom to try to catch up on some of the sleep that had been eluding her.
So far, no sleep.
At a movement in the doorway, she glanced up, expecting it to be Amalia, with one of the delicious treat trays she regularly brought her. But it wasn’t Amalia.
Theo stepped into her room—tall, serious, devastating.
Her heart whacked so hard and fast against her ribcage she put her fist to her chest to hold it inside.
‘What are you doing here?’ She scrambled off the bed.
She’d thought she was getting on top of her feelings, but in a flash they were all back, all-consuming. Elation. Desolation. It was far too soon to see him. It was always going to be too soon. And her bedroom was too intimate a space.
‘Leah.’
How could she collapse so completely when all he did was look at her like that and say her name? She clenched her teeth, willing herself to stay strong and in control.
‘What do you want?’ she asked defensively as he stood watching her every move.
‘I can’t visit you?’
‘Not unannounced, no.’ She squared her shoulders. It was time to set the rules she needed in place to survive this.
His gaze didn’t waver and that green deepened. ‘But we’re married.’
‘We’re not a normal married couple.’ To her horror her voice weakened.
Because they were never going to be that. He didn’t want that.
He still didn’t move, yet somehow he seemed nearer. ‘How are you finding prison island?’
She wanted to scream her heartache at him. She wanted to hate him for it. But she was so unprepared for seeing him again and the last thing she felt was hate. ‘It’s beautiful,’ she said.
To her surprise something that looked like anger flared in his eyes.
‘Really?’ His soft query was laced with a lethal edge. ‘So you’re going to be happy here?’
She stared in disbelief that he’d asked that. Her anger burned closer to the surface. ‘Don’t you want me to be happy?’
Another expression flickered across his face but he swiftly stiffened and she couldn’t even try to read it.
‘It’s better for us to live apart,’ she said firmly. He’d been right.
But he didn’t say anything, he just kept looking at her as if he couldn’t believe she was in front of him, as if he were afraid that if he so much as blinked she might disappear. And it wasn’t fair of him to look at her like that.
‘What do you want from me, Theo?’ she flared. She was trying to give him what he’d wanted. ‘Why are you here? The baby’s not due for a few months. Can’t you just leave me alone and let me deal with—?’
She broke off, not wanting to name the blistering emotions steamrollering through her.
‘After you first left...’ His voice was so croaky it faded away.
She watched as he visibly fought for control.
‘I thought I’d come and tell you it was all okay, that you should go back to Britain if you wanted. I’d set you up and pay for everything and come visit you and the baby when it suits you...but I don’t want you to do that.’
Pain welled inside her. ‘I wouldn’t want to. The baby needs you. You need the baby too.’ Because that was true. He might not think he had anything more to offer their child than financial security, but he did. ‘That’s why I’m here.’
But she pressed her lips together, not admitting her own need of him. He didn’t want that.
He watched her, waiting, as if he knew there was more she wanted to say but couldn’t.
‘It’s not the baby I need, Leah,’ he muttered jerkily. ‘It’s you.’
Painful tears blinded her and she shook her head.
‘Leah?’
‘No.’ She turned away, because she couldn’t believe him. ‘No, Theo.’
Somehow he was right there, his hands on her shoulders, pressing with firm but gentle pressure to get her to turn back to face him.
She ached to resist. But she still didn’t have the strength. ‘Please...’ She broke off and closed her eyes to hold back those burning tears. But they slipped free anyway, tracking down her cheeks.
‘Leah.’ His thread of a voice broke. ‘I’m so sorry.’
She sucked in a shaky breath. ‘You don’t need to be sorry. It’s okay. I’m okay.’ This was going to be fine. ‘You just need to stay away and let me get on with it for a while.’
‘You really meant it.’ A whisper—of disbelief, of regret, of sorrow.
That she loved him? ‘Of course I did.’
He was gazing into her eyes and she couldn’t look away now because he was looking at her with such anguish. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t know how to accept that gift, Leah. I’m so sorry. No one’s given me that before. And that it was you?’ He shook his head. ‘It meant too much. You’d given me something so fragile—like burning, just-blown glass—and I was too scared to take hold of it in case I warped it somehow. In case it really was nothing more than a bubble that would burst if I even breathed. I just didn’t know how to handle it.’
She stilled, unsure she could believe what she thought he was trying to say.
‘I’m mucking this up.’ He groaned and moved closer still. ‘I’m not okay, Leah. I’m not fine. I miss you.’
‘But this is what you wanted.’ There was a lump in her chest as if she’d swallowed a giant jag
ged piece of ice.
‘I think I’ve been afraid for so long that I forgot I even was. It’s just normal. I didn’t even recognise I’d put defences in place. That afternoon when I came home and found out you’d gone I didn’t realise you’d come here. I thought you’d left for good.’
‘I could never do that to you. I couldn’t hide your child from you. Not knowing you the way I—’
‘I know, sweetheart. I know and I’m sorry. It was so stupid of me. I’m not great at understanding love, Leah.’ He nodded. ‘And I know you’re used to feeling hurt by those who should show you the greatest care. But you shouldn’t be. You deserve so much more than that.’
She swallowed.
‘I used my parents as an excuse to keep you away. I didn’t want to care. I didn’t think I actually could. But, Leah, I’ve fallen for you. From that very first night, I just couldn’t let myself recognise it.’
She shook her head. ‘No.’
He tensed, his eyes widening. ‘No?’
‘Not from that first night,’ she muttered. ‘It’s all...circumstance. If it weren’t for this baby, we wouldn’t have seen each other again.’