She swallowed. ‘Yes, but—’
‘The only problem was I couldn’t admit it to myself. I couldn’t admit how much you mattered. I was able to keep anyone from mattering much for a very long time. But you slid into my life and suddenly everything was upside down and inside out. Me, I’m inside out—I’m unable to exist the way I used to. Because it isn’t enough for me any more either. I want you right with me. I can’t stand the thought of losing you. I hate this distance we’ve had.’ He was shaking. ‘I know it’s a lot to ask. I know my life comes with a whole lot of pressure and complication. But you belong here—this could be your home. Stay with me, Hester. Please.’
‘You didn’t really want me to before. Not like this.’
‘Because I was an idiot. Because I didn’t know how to handle my own feelings. Because I was afraid. Losing someone you love hurts, Hester. I didn’t realise how much I was avoiding letting myself love someone. But the fact is, I can’t stop myself and I don’t want to any more. I love you. And I want you to let me love you.’
She shrivelled inside. Not believing him while at the same time wanting to.
‘Is it so hard to believe that I could love you?’ he asked.
‘It’s been a long time...’
‘I know.’ He brushed her cheek with the backs of his fingers in the way that made her feel precious. ‘But I think a lot of other people are going to love you, if you let them. A whole country full.’
That scared her, a lot. ‘I don’t want all that...’ she mumbled. It felt like such pressure and all that mattered to her was him. ‘I just want you.’
‘And you have me.’ He drew in a deep breath. ‘You’re so beautiful.’ He leaned closer. ‘You’re loyal and brave and funny and kind and so very organised.’
She almost smiled.
‘But if you don’t want to stay here, we can work something out.’ He glanced at her. ‘I don’t quite know—’ He broke off.
‘Of course I want to stay, Alek.’ Of course she would stand beside him, do anything she could to help him. Just as she was beginning to realise that he would for her. ‘I want to be with you. To work with you.’
His hands swept to her waist to hold her still, but it was the look in his eyes that transfixed her. She didn’t notice their finery; the gold and jewels faded into insignificance because all that mattered was the emotion shining so clearly in his eyes.
‘I have something for you.’ He unfastened the top two buttons of his jacket and reached into the inside breast pocket. He pulled his fist out and unfurled his fingers in front of her. A small shard of obsidian sat in his palm. ‘It’s from that afternoon at the springs.’
‘You took a piece?’
‘At the time I thought...’
‘Thought what?’
‘That you might put it with that button in your box.’ He gazed into her eyes, his own a little shy. ‘But I wanted the reminder, that’s why I didn’t give it to you then. And now I know we should collect more memories together.’
Little treasures from little moments that meant so much more than any precious jewels ever could.
He put the obsidian in her palm and locked his hand around hers. What he’d given her was beyond precious—it was access to his heart, his soul. And she would always keep it safe. Just as he was offering to keep her heart safe in his hand too.
He was here for her. He wanted her. He loved her.
Her eyes filled as he swept her into his arms. But he kissed the tears away. He pressed her close against him as if he were afraid she’d disappear if he didn’t; his grip was almost painful. But she revelled in it—rising to meet his mouth with hers. To pour every ounce of soaring emotion back into him. She loved him. And he loved her.
‘I should’ve known when I realised I wasn’t terrified by the thought of you being pregnant,’ he confessed with a breathy laugh. ‘I never thought I wanted kids, now I can’t wait. I want to see you cradling our babies. I want to see a whole bunch of miniature Hesters curled up in a big chair and reading their favourite books.’
She laughed through her tears. ‘While mini Aleks will wow everyone with their ventriloquism?’
‘Something like that.’ He pulled her close again. ‘You believe me?’
She rested her head against his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist, needing to feel him against her and know he was solid and real. ‘I will.’
‘I know, we need some time together alone.’ He sighed. ‘But right now we have to go in there for a while. Can you handle it?’ He sounded apologetic.
She lifted her face to smile up at him. They’d have their time alone together soon enough and she couldn’t wait for that magic. But she understood that right now Alek had the obligations of that heavy crown upon him. It was a burden she’d gladly help him shoulder.
His answering smile reflected the joy rippling through her veins. She rose up on tiptoe to kiss him and whisper her absolute truth.
‘I can handle anything when I have you beside me.’
EPILOGUE
Two years later
‘COME RIDE WITH ME.’
Hester glanced up and registered the heat of intent in her husband’s eyes. ‘I thought you had meetings all afternoon?’ she asked, faking cool serenity. But she put down the book she’d been reading and quickly stood.
‘Finished early.’ Alek smiled knowingly.
She knew that smile so well and every time he sent it her way, it hit her right in the solar plexus. He didn’t just love her, he adored her—making her feel beautiful inside and out. And with him at her side, she didn’t just handle everything—all the good and the bad—that life had to offer, she revelled in it.
So now she drank in the sight of him in the black trousers and shirt he preferred to ride in. Sensual attraction fluttered as she felt ruthless desire emanating from him. Their need for touch hadn’t dissipated in the two years since their mad, quick and convenient marriage—in fact it had increased.
After the coronation they’d had to escape—stealing a full month of a real honeymoon at the stud, replying to any arising issues via phone and emails. And even then, upon their return, it had been a challenge to concentrate for longer periods of work again.
Together they’d formed their alliance. She’d accompanied him more on engagements and she’d found a purpose of her own in reinvigorating the city’s literacy programmes. Then, just this year, she’d opened the children’s library of her dreams—using a room in Queen Aleksandrina’s castle, to bring life and love and laughter back to the place, so that more people could take time out there and appreciate the beauty built by an untameable woman who’d refused to fit in.
And every weekend they could, they
came back here to Triscari Stud to oversee the breeding programme and take some time for themselves. So now Hester walked with him to the yard. Jupiter was saddled and waiting not quite patiently. They always rode together when staying at the stud even though Hester had learned to ride on her own and actually found she wasn’t just getting better, she enjoyed it.
Today Jupiter carried them both. Alek steered him in the direction of the clifftop forest that they’d gone to on her first visit here. Hester’s heart sang as, sure enough, they went to the hot springs where they’d come together again in that desperately passionate way. She treasured that piece of obsidian that rested safely in her box. But today it wasn’t only the striking rock formations and steaming water that caught her attention. A circular white tent was set up near the pool and a small sofa actually sat outside in the warm sun, smothered in plump cushions and rugs.
‘What’s this?’
‘Our anniversary escape.’ He tightened his hold on her. ‘Or did you think I’d forgotten?’
‘I didn’t think you’d forgotten,’ she murmured. ‘I thought you were probably planning something for later. I figured your meeting was a cover.’
‘Were you planning something?’
She smiled coyly and leaned back against him. ‘Of course.’
She loved dreaming up nice things to show she cared. Small things, to treat him, and he did the same for her—slowly building their own language of care and love and collecting the trinkets to put in their shared memory box. But this time she had the most perfect secret to surprise him with.
She slipped down from Jupiter and walked towards the tent. Fairy lights were wound around the wooden poles while the interior was filled with fresh flowers and a pile of soft-looking wool throws artfully strewn on a bed. There was a small table with a wicker basket beside it that she knew would be filled with their favourite picnic food.
‘Going for comfort this time?’ she teased him.
‘Going to stay the whole night.’ He nodded. ‘Maybe even two nights.’