‘Oh, I’m very happy,’ Hester dredged up enough serenity to assure them. ‘Just a little tired from our secret honeymoon. We weren’t supposed to go away, what with the coronation so soon, but—’ she shrugged and her oh-so-polite tone matched theirs ‘—Alek’s very used to doing and having what he wants.’ She paused for a moment to bestow them with a smile as brilliantly fake as theirs had been. ‘And he wants me.’
It was true, after all. Even if only for now.
The satisfaction she felt wasn’t from seeing her cousins slack-jawed, but from the sudden lightening of her soul. What these people thought of her truly didn’t matter and she didn’t need to bother any more.
‘If you’ll excuse me...’ She stepped past her cousins only to see her security officer standing at a slight distance behind them. Worse, Alek was standing beside him.
She froze. She’d been so focused on her cousins she’d not noticed him arrive. Now she saw the question in his eye and knew he’d heard some of that conversation. Her composure began to crumble.
‘Is everything all right, Hester?’ he asked, his gaze fixed on her.
‘Perfectly fine, Alek,’ she said clearly, despite her pulse pounding again in her ears. ‘But Kimberly, Brittany and Joshua were just explaining that unfortunately they’re unable to stay for the coronation. They need to return home tonight.’
‘Oh, I see.’ Alek swiftly turned to their security officer. ‘Could you please escort our guests back to their hotel now and ensure they get on the next available flight this afternoon?’
‘Of course, Your Highness.’ The security stepped forward with an authoritative air.
Hester watched as her cousins—with furious wordlessness—walked out of her life.
‘Are you okay?’ Alek asked softly once they were beyond earshot.
She nodded. ‘I’m fine.’ She flashed a wobbly grin at him. ‘I actually mean that. I handled them fine.’
‘Not fine, Hester.’ A chuckle broke his tense expression. ‘You eviscerated them.’
Alek watched a raft of expressions cross Hester’s face. She was much easier to read now—anger melded with satisfaction, but quickly faded to wispy sadness, to settle on bittersweet relief. It was a mash-up of conflicting emotions that made her so very human. He’d watched, frankly awed, as she’d stood her ground and despatched her former bullies. She’d breathed ice-cool fire.
Those flames within her were so well hidden, but when she let them show? She was incredible. He guided her through the gardens to the terrace and into his private study. He closed the door, determined to be alone with her again.
‘I was thinking,’ he muttered. ‘I don’t think this should end.’
‘Pardon?’ She shot him a confused look.
‘Our marriage.’ He cleared his throat and discovered how truly horrible awkwardness felt. ‘You realise we had unprotected sex yesterday.’
Her skin mottled and she ducked her head, brushing the swing of her hair back with a shaking hand. ‘Oh, I should have told you at the time but I... I wasn’t thinking,’ she mumbled. ‘I won’t get pregnant. I’m on contraception for other reasons. I’m sorry if you’ve been worried.’
* * *
‘Worried? No.’ He needed a moment to absorb the hit of disappointment. It was startling and he had to clear his throat again. ‘Well, I think that we should tear up the contract.’
Her eyes widened. ‘Tear it up?’ she echoed. ‘You want this to end already?’
‘No. I mean stay married,’ he clarified.
‘Stay married.’
She seemed to be stuck on repeat.
‘That’s right.’ He nodded. ‘For good.’
She just stared at him.
‘I will have to have children some day,’ he said.
She didn’t even blink. ‘I thought you had years to figure that out.’
‘I think perhaps I’ve figured it out already.’ He watched her closely. ‘I’m not going to lie. I didn’t think I wanted them. Partly because I don’t want to burden them with...everything. But perhaps the sooner I have children, the longer I’ll be around to be King, so they can have as long as possible to shape their own lives, have their own careers, their own dreams.’
She was still staring at him, still unmoving.
‘We work well together, Hester. We could make a good team.’
Why wasn’t she smiling? Why was she staring at him aghast, as if he’d said something insane? Why did he feel as if he’d just tried to run through a boggy field wearing woollen socks?
‘You’re willing to settle for...’ She trailed off. ‘Just for that?’
‘What do you mean “settle”?’ This made sense. ‘I don’t think I’d be settling, Hester.’
‘What about your dreams, Alek?’
‘My what?’
‘Your dreams.’
He shook his head blankly, because that wasn’t the point. That wasn’t ever the point.
‘You don’t have any?’ she asked softly.
His gaze narrowed as she stepped closer. She’d done a magnificent job of masking her emotions with her hideous cousins, but her façade had truly cracked wide now. Now there was pure golden fire. ‘What about mine?’ she asked.
‘Uh...um...’
‘You want me to stay married to you?’ she clarified. ‘To have children with you? So are you saying you’re in love with me?’
Hester held her breath, but for once in his life her charming, usually so smooth husband was lost for words.
‘Didn’t think so,’ she muttered. ‘You rebelled so much against the control the Crown—that tradition, your father—all exerted over you. Would you really just accept that little now? Really agree to live such an empty life?’
His gaze narrowed. ‘Who’s to say it would be empty?’
Had he been concerned he’d got her pregnant and decided he’d better offer to make this a permanent deal? Her heart ached because for a second there, just for a second, she’d wanted to believe he meant it for real.
‘For so long, I’ve felt like I didn’t fit in,’ she said.
‘You fit in just fine here. You know we could make this work.’
‘I want more than to just make something work.’
And when he bored of her? What then?
‘We’re a lot alike, Hester,’ he argued. ‘You don’t really want all that either. You were happy to accept a convenient marriage.’
‘Temporarily, yes. But, actually, I do want “all that”.’
She wanted the whole package—marriage and children, a family built on a foundation of love. The love she’d not had since her parents died. And the irony of it was that it was thanks to the confidence and appreciation Alek had given her that she finally recognised that she could and should.
‘I deserve “all that”.’
‘You could have everything here.’
‘And what’s that? What’s “everything”?’
‘Security. Safety.’
‘That’s what you think I need?’ She gazed at him. ‘Because that’s not everything. That’s not the most important thing to me.’
‘Hester, it’s what you need.’
‘Is that really what you think?’ She gazed at him, horrified. Did he think he was ‘helping’ her somehow? Rescuing her? Trying to fix her life for her because he’d been unable to do that in his past? Because he’d seen her horrible cousins? ‘Am I just a win for your wannabe doctor ego?’ she asked, hurt. ‘I don’t want to be that. I don’t want your pity.’
‘You don’t have it.’ Arrogance glittered.
She didn’t believe him. ‘When we first met, you were furious at the fact you had to get married. You thought a marriage of convenience was the worst thing ever and you wanted to fling your own choice in their faces. But now you’ve decided it’s everything you’ve ever w
anted? What, something superficial, some purely contractual, cool paperwork?’
‘We’re hardly cool paperwork between the sheets, Hester.’