When I turn around, Ryan’s standing on the bottom stair with his stuff in his hand. He looks me over with a smirk, but I give him a sad smile in return. He walks over and drops his bag, then wraps his arms around me. He holds me tight, and I soak in his warmth and touch, not wanting to let go—not wanting this to be over.
We stand for a while, and I'm certain he inhales the scent of my hair. I look up into his eyes, and I’m certain I can see the pain in his expression and wonder if he’s feeling the same as me. Running his fingers through my hair, he gently tugs on the ends and forces me to look up at him.
"I'm gonna miss seeing you every day so fucking much," he finally admits.
"Me too. Half of me wishes we didn't have to go, but the other half knows we have to."
My heart flutters, and the weight that’s been sitting on my shoulders all morning seems to lift slightly. Maybe he does feel the same way about me after all. Maybe we do have a fighting chance in hell to make this work out, but I’m too chicken to bring it up. I don’t want to ruin this moment.
He grins, then grabs my hand and leads me upstairs.
"Where are we going?" I follow even though I know we need to get on the road. He has to be at the hospital early in the morning, and I don’t want him to be exhausted from the drive.
"I don't want to waste this time," he admits.
Ryan brings me to his bedroom, and when he turns around, our lips crash together. I moan against his mouth, sinking further into him, hoping he can feel exactly how I do right now.
The intense connection nearly slices me open as we exchange slow, emotional kisses. It feels like the final goodbye. Just the thought breaks my heart, but I want this last time together. Ryan doesn't say anything though, and I kiss him with everything I have even though my lips already feel swollen.
He takes his sweet time unbuttoning my jeans, then slides them down to my ankles. I step out of my shoes and remove my shirt. He studies me as if he's memorizing this moment, then slides my panties down and unclasps my bra.
Once I'm completely naked, we move to the bed, and I lie down in the middle. My breathing increases and my eyes flutter closed as I take in how his fingers feel against my skin.
His lips slide from my neck to my breasts and farther down my body. When he’s kissed me all the way between my thighs, he stands and removes his clothes, then towers over me. Ryan’s piercing gaze meets mine as he slowly enters me. Raw emotion streams through me as he pants in my ear, and I scratch my nails down his back.
He releases animalistic groans as he thrusts into me deeper and harder, giving me everything I need and want. He takes my heart as his prisoner as we make love for possibly the last time. It’s an out-of-body experience when I force him on his back and ride him.
“You’re so fucking sexy, Kendall,” he tells me, palming my breasts as they bounce. As his thumb circles over my clit, an orgasm builds, and I know I’m close. It unexpectedly washes over me, and it feels as if I’ve been shot out of the atmosphere as my pussy clenches his cock. I continue rocking my hips, riding out my release, and notice Ryan’s body tensing.
I move forward, allowing our mouths to connect. Our tongues wage war as I continue the slow, agonizing pace. Ryan lets out a guttural moan, then grabs my ass with both hands and slams his cock harder into me. Soon, he’s unraveling, saying my name, telling me how goddamn gorgeous I am as he fills me.
At this tender moment, I want to whisper those three words, but I don’t want to freak him the hell out either. He doesn’t take relationships lightly and neither do I, but the heart wants what it wants.
I lay in his arms, and my eyes grow heavy, but we have to get going since we have a three-hour drive ahead of us. After we're clean, we get dressed and fix the bed. He interlocks his fingers with mine, kisses my knuckles, and leads me downstairs.
We make one final walkthrough of the cabin, confirming everything is in place for Cami and Eli when they arrive in a week. The mood is somber, but Ryan throws me sexy looks and smirks each time my eyes meet his, and I wonder if he’s thinking the same thing.
There’s so much I want to say, but I don’t even know where I would begin to explain what’s going through my mind right now. It grows more awkward between us, and I hate how it feels as though we’re coming to a crossroads. I could just be thinking the absolute worst, but he hasn’t brought it up either, so I’m conflicted. I wear my heart on my sleeve and usually say what’s on my mind, but I can’t even bring myself to ask what our future holds. I don’t know if my heart could handle rejection from him.