She said nothing else.
“And?” I prompted her after a moment of silence.
“And I don’t really want to,” she admitted, much to my surprise.
Not that she didn’t want to talk.
I was surprised she admitted it.
“I know, but you don’t have a choice.” I walked over to her and stopped in front of her. I leaned down and rested my hands on her knees, making it so that our eyes were level. “Holley, I let you do that once before, and it cost me my best friend. All over one stupid little misunderstanding that could have been cleared up in thirty seconds.”
She looked at me, something indiscernible in her eyes.
“I don’t want to do that again,” I said softly. “Eight years is a long time, but it feels like nothing at all. It feels like we’ve talked every day. And I can’t just let you ignore something just because it scares you.”
“Who says I’m scared?”
“Your endless refusal to talk, your biting comments designed to push me away, and your little sassy moments that honestly endear me to you more than anything.”
“You’re so weird.”
“Bit rich coming from you, but I’ll talk it.” I smirked, but I dropped it quickly. “I have feelings for you, Holley. I just don’t know what they are. I don’t know if they’re left over from years ago and they’re nostalgic bullshit that’s a waste of both our time or if they’re something real.”
She swallowed.
“And I know you feel something, too, or you wouldn’t put a wall up every single time I try to talk about it.”
“A wall is a bit of an overstatement.”
“See? Most people would deny that if it weren’t true, but you just deflect.”
“I don’t know what you want me to admit to you. Seb, the last time I decided to tell you how I felt, it ended badly. I guess…” She sighed and looked away.
“You guess what?”
Reluctantly, she met my gaze again. “I guess I like having you back in my life and I’m afraid that if we do anything to change this—” She motioned between us. “—Then I could lose you all over again.”
“Holley, I swear. No matter what, we’ll always be—” I was cut off by the bell over the door. With a sigh, I stepped back and looked over my shoulder.
“Mrs. Holland!” Holley jumped up and smoothed out her sweater. “What can I do for you today?”
The woman I didn’t recognize looked between us. “Are you busy, Holley? I can come back.”
“No, don’t be silly. Sebastian was just leaving.” Holley shot me a look. “How can I help you?”
I guess I’ll be going, then.
I grabbed my sweater and pulled it over my head. Mrs. Holland was just explaining a series to Holley that her friend had told her about when a piercing scream ripped through the store.
Holley froze. “That’s my niece. Sorry.”
“I got her.” I shoved my arm through the hole and tugged my sweater down over my stomach.
“It’s fine, I—”
“I got her,” I repeated, scooting past the older woman in the direction of the back room.
“Are you sure?”
“Nope. Never held a baby in my life!” I called as I slipped behind a bookshelf to reach the door.
I had no idea if she heard me.
I could hear nothing but the screeching of the baby.
Tegan was screaming from inside what looked like a pop-up playpen. She was lying both under and on what looked like the softest blankets known to man, and her pacifier was on the blanket next to her head.
I reached into the pen and, careful to support her little head, picked her up. I really had never held a baby before, but I knew how to, so I held her against me and gently rocked her.
Her crying calmed, especially when I reached down for the pacifier and put it in her mouth. Little sucking noises filled the air. They were the cutest sounds I’d ever heard, and I could barely believe they were coming from the same baby who’d just been screaming blue murder.
But she’d stopped.
And thank God.
Because I had no idea what I was doing.CHAPTER EIGHTEEN – HOLLEYrule eighteen: babies should not mix with baseball players. not if you’re trying to keep the fake, fake.I smiled at Mrs. Holland as she left with a spring in her step and a tote bag full of books slung over her shoulder.
The woman was one of our best customers, but that was probably because it always felt like she was never going to leave.
Today had been no different. Not only had we started off with my favorite game where she explained a plot and I had to figure out what she was talking about, we only had book one in stock. Naturally, she wanted the entire eight-book series, so I had to add them to my order. Then she wanted to know if I had any other books similar to it in stock, and we’d somehow ended up in the gardening section so she could get prepared for spring.