“Act like I care?” Zep asked.
“You have a mask on,” Remy explained. “All the time. It’s a mask of indifference that you think is going to save you from getting hurt. If you never look like you’re trying, then you never have to fail. But I know you do care and that what you’re going to figure out is that it’s the not trying that’s really failure. No one is going to care that you fall on your face. We’ve all done it.”
“If I fail, everyone is watching.” He wasn’t even going to fight his brother on the problem. He knew he was avoiding making big decisions because he didn’t trust himself enough to make the right choice. Because he couldn’t have that dream he’d had when he was a kid. Did that mean he didn’t dream at all? Or that he should find a new one? “I wonder if it’s easier in a big city.”
“I have been all over the world, brother, and I can tell you that if one thing is easier someplace else, then they got something harder, too. You think everyone would see you failing here, think about a place where no one would see you at all,” Remy said. “In the end, people are people and no one gets out of this life without pain. Being alone is hard. Being with someone is hard. So pick which struggle you want.”
He knew exactly what he wanted. And it might mean he had to choose between her or his family. If he got the choice at all.
Remy glanced back toward where the ladies had disappeared. “It looks like you made some headway with Roxie. Her parents aren’t around and she’s still playing the part.”
“I think your gumbo did the trick,” he said, and then realized he was doing exactly what his brother had accused him of. He was making something important into something less. “I really talked to her last night when we got back from the B and B. I came clean on a lot of things, including my time in Arizona.”
His brother’s eyes widened. “You never talk about that.”
“She’s special.” That was what he’d figured out. The key to getting Roxanne to understand he was serious was to treat her like she was special. Because she was. “She’s important, and that means she gets more of me than anyone else. I love my family, but if I’m going to be Roxie’s partner, she’s got to come first.”
It had been so good to open up to her the night before. Something had eased inside him when she’d sat on his lap. He’d always dreaded the idea of pity. But sympathy and empathy were beautiful things, and he needed to change his mindset. If Roxie was his girlfriend, if they were partners, then he needed her to truly know him, and that meant opening the dark, sad places of his soul and offering those up, too.
His brother was quiet for a moment as though considering what he’d said. A soft look hit his eyes. “Then you’re good and I take back everything I said before. You can put her first and that means you’re ready for this relationship.”
His brother was looking at him like he was proud. Remy looked so much like their dad.
He was not going to tear up. He was not going to.
The sound of crunching saved him from doing something silly. He looked to the street and saw a golf cart on the sidewalk and one of the town hall’s trash cans slightly dented from the encounter.
An elderly couple immediately started arguing about the man’s driving.
He might be ready for a relationship, but he was so not ready for this.* * ** * *
Roxie settled in beside Lisa Guidry and watched as Armie took his place at the table on the stage. Normally she would sit to the side, but the truth was, despite the uniform she wore, she wasn’t actually working. She’d attended these meetings but she’d never been a part of them. She’d always watched from the side of the stage, telling herself it was just in case something went wrong and she was needed.
Now she could see her actions for what they were. She’d distanced herself from the people around her, not wanting to make friends or become one of them because she wasn’t going to let herself stay here.
But even if it wasn’t forever, why shouldn’t she make some friends? She was never going to find a place like this again. Why not let herself have this experience? It seemed like she put off everything because she wasn’t in her perfect future.
But the future never actually came. It was always something in the distance, and she was wasting the now.
“Seraphina!” Lisa stood up and waved Zep’s sister over.
Sera stood beside her massive wall-of-muscle husband. Harrison Jefferys had a little boy in his arms. His stepson, Luc, though he never called him that. To Harry, Luc was simply his son.