Had she viewed him the same way everyone did? As a gorgeous face with no real soul behind it?
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” she said quietly.
“I suspect I’ll survive.”
“Hey, I’m trying here, Zep. I’m sorry I hurt you. I hope that you can accept my apology. I don’t know what your brother said, but I do appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”
A long moment passed. “I accept your apology and you’re welcome. Remy just told me we weren’t on the same page. He said you probably weren’t thinking long term when it came to me, and he knew that I was definitely considering it.”
The words floored her. He was thinking about them in some kind of long-term relationship? In a relationship at all? “You want me to be your girlfriend?”
He was quiet for a moment. “You don’t have to say it like it’s an insane idea.”
“You don’t have girlfriends.”
“Yes, I believe I pointed that out.”
She was so confused. “You could get a girlfriend if you wanted one. You’re not exactly hard on the eyes.”
“You would be surprised. Most women around here don’t view me as anything they would want to bring home to their mommas. And yes, it might be because in my youth I slept with a bunch of their mommas, but I’ve changed over the last couple of years. I’m not the same man I was.”
“You slept with their mothers?” She shouldn’t be shocked but there it was.
“I didn’t discriminate when I was younger,” Zep admitted. “A beautiful woman was a beautiful woman. I know I sound like an idiot. I know I deserve the reputation I got, but I’ve grown up in the last couple of years. I’ve had to. Sera . . . well, Sera needed a lot of help in the beginning. She needed me and Momma. And then we had to take care of Luc. I took a bunch of odd jobs because we needed the money, but someone needed to watch after Luc, too. Sera was trying to find stable work. She tried out a lot of stuff. I had to back her up so that meant being flexible. Also, there’s not a lot to do around here unless you want to work on a rig.”
And then he would have been gone for months at a time. Had his choices not been as selfish as everyone suspected? She knew his sister had been through a lot of jobs. But she hadn’t thought about Zep doing more than the occasional babysitting gig. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to treat you like a joke, but you’re right. I’m not thinking long term. Staying here long term was never in my plans. I know everyone thinks I came down here because of what happened to my partner, but that’s not the truth. I will miss Ben every day, but he’s not the reason I left New York. I came here because after my divorce, my ex made it impossible for me to stay. I was happy where I was.”
Had she been? After Ben had been killed, she’d closed herself off to anything but doing her job and rising up the ranks. Ambition had been far easier than self-reflection. It still was, but Zep was forcing her to think. Or maybe it was all about her current situation with her family.
“You’re going to leave?”
“The plan was always that I would come here for a couple of years, and when the right position opened, I would take it. Armie has contacts in New Orleans.”
“You should talk to my brother, too. He knows a bunch of people in Dallas.” Someone honked behind them and he looked up, cursing softly under his breath as he realized the light had gone green. “Sorry. I need to pay more attention. But if you’re interested in living in Dallas, Remy could help you.”
She put a hand on his arm. “It’s not about you. It’s about my career. This is what I’ve always wanted. Most of my friends wanted to be models or doctors. I know. I had an eclectic group of friends. I wanted to be a cop like my granddad.”
But hadn’t she moved into a career that resembled her father’s more than her granddad’s?
“I understand that your career is important.” He turned down her street. “I’ll go back to my place and let you alone. If you need me again, give me a call.”
“I thought you were staying with me for the week.” A bit of panic welled inside her and she realized how much she’d been counting on having this time with him. She wanted to be around him even though she knew it would end when her family left. “I still don’t know how to take care of Daisy.”
“Sure you do,” he said, weariness in his tone. “You take her on a couple of walks. Feed her. Pet her. She’ll be fine. If you get in trouble, you can call me.”