“No,” he said.
“Yes,” Roxie replied at the same time.
“Do you want me to help you?” he asked.
“I wanted you to help me when I thought you were going to help me the way I wanted you to help me. You went rogue,” Roxie accused.
“No, I pivoted,” he explained. “Listen, Sera, I need your help. Those folks who checked in today are Roxie’s family, and her mother is a lot to handle.”
“Don’t I know it,” Sera replied. “She’s already had me change the sheets, ensure all the bathroom equipment is functioning properly, and prove we have Internet out here. She asked if I knew what the Internet was. But the dad seems pretty nice.”
“I’m sorry,” Roxie said with a wince. “My mom is a lot. And she caught me unaware.”
“See, Roxie has been telling her momma she has a boyfriend so she wouldn’t worry.” He didn’t completely understand, but he thought that was the gist of it.
“Oh, I bet worry was the least of her problems. I bet that woman would matchmake.” Sera proved she understood far better than he did because Roxie was nodding as his sister continued. “I get it. If I hadn’t been living with my momma when I was single, I would have tried the same thing. I would have totally made up a spectacular . . . Oh, no. Her momma’s going to want to meet the boyfriend. Who doesn’t exist.”
“Well, see, I’m not so great at making stuff up.” Roxie bit her bottom lip.
“She told her mom she was dating Armie.” It was best to put it all out there. “So when Momma King showed up this afternoon, she got me instead of Armie. Luckily I wasn’t wearing a shirt at the time and I distracted her with my manly chest, but we need a plan in place now.”
“Does Armie know you fake dated him?” Sera asked.
“No.” Roxie had gone the sweetest shade of pink. “So if we can leave that out, it would be great.”
“Do you honestly believe your mother won’t mention him? She won’t complain about how he treated you even though she has no real idea about how he treated you?” Her silence was his answer. “So here’s the play. Sera, I need you to get on the emergency line and let everyone know we’ve got a citizen in extreme trouble. Here’s the story we’re putting out. She and Armie dated for a while. It fizzled out because he’s obviously too old for her, and then he married Lila, who he is perfect for.”
“I don’t think Armie will like that,” Roxie interrupted.
But he wasn’t about to stop now. They were on a timeline and it was short. All that had to happen was the Kings deciding to stop at the local convenience store where Effie Charles would ask for their whole life story and inevitably blow their cover. “Roxie and I fell for each other a couple of months ago, and we recently moved in together and adopted a dog we named Daisy. We’re very happy and I consult with the Papillon Parish Sheriff’s Department on situations involving animals. So we live together and work together.”
“Does Armie know that?” his sister asked. “The working at the station part, or are you just planning on hanging around there?”
His sister didn’t always have faith in his work ethic. “I’ll have you know Armie did ask me to be on call. So there.”
Sera was quiet for a moment. “Just like Dad?”
“Yeah.” He straightened up because he couldn’t get emotional right now. “So you’ll do it?”
“Roxie, you want me to do this?” Sera asked because she had some girl power thing going.
“I don’t even know what you’re doing but I’m kind of at a loss here, so yeah,” Roxie admitted.
“Then I’m on it. I’ll text you when it’s done.” His sister hung up.
“What did I agree to do?” Roxie was still looking at him like she wasn’t sure if she was going to murder him.
“Sera will call Dixie and our sister-in-law Lisa. She’ll tell them our cover story. Dixie and Lisa will then call two others each, and before the hour is up, everyone will know the story we want them to tell. Don’t worry. Whoever calls Gene will go over the story ten times to make sure he doesn’t shove something weird in there. In a few minutes we’ll be bulletproof.” It was not the first time the town had come together to protect one of their own. “I think you should call and talk to Armie, though.”
“Yeah, I’ll call him in a minute.” She looked a little shocked. “Why would they do that for me?”
He shrugged. “Why wouldn’t they? Everyone’s told a little lie from time to time. Especially to keep a momma calm. In the beginning they’ll do it because we asked them to, but you’ll get some lectures about being honest with your momma. Then they’ll meet your momma. Unless you think your momma will come off better in public.”