Two days ago, the dam broke inside him, drowning him in a ten-year flood that needed to run its course.
But right now, his relaxed posture and steady breaths told her he was deep in thought, not grief.
She shared a look with Ricky and pressed a hand against his shirtless chest, silently asking him to stay. Then she crawled across the beds and knelt behind Martin.
He wore only his briefs and didn’t move as she rested her mouth on his shoulder and her fingers on his nape.
She remained in that position for a long time, breathing with him and indulging in the potency of his presence.
“Want to talk?” She ghosted her lips along his neck and inhaled deeply, savoring his masculine scent.
“No.”
“Want to fight?”
He grunted. “No.”
“Want to make love?”
His head slowly lifted and turned in her direction. His mouth parted, and the tip of his tongue wet the corner.
“I want to know what you feel like inside me.” She kissed his strong jaw. “I want to see what your face looks like when you’re buried inside Ricky.”
“You want my filth in your pussy?” His voice was stony, laden with antagonism.
“At least forty-three times.”
“And your ass?” He folded his arms around her and dragged her onto his lap to straddle him.
“Yes.” She found Ricky’s hooded eyes over Martin’s shoulder.
Martin gave her a troubled look and touched their foreheads together. “We only have forty-three days.”
“Spend them inside me.” She brushed her lips against his, drawing a groan from his chest.
When she pulled back, he chased her, capturing her mouth in a starved kiss. His hands went to her hair and slid down her back, pulling her closer as he worked their tongues into a delicious tangle.
“I don’t want to hurt you.” He trapped her arms behind her and ground her body onto his hard cock. “I’m fucked up.”
“Aren’t we all? We’re fucked-up people living fucked-up lives with no access to medication or therapy. But we have one another.”
His soft laughter filled her mouth.
She breathed in the sexy sound and held it in her chest. “I’m keeping that.”
“What?” he rumbled against her lips.
“Your laughter. I’m collecting all your happy moments, just so you know.”
“They’re yours.” He glanced back at Ricky. “And his.”
“Promise me something.”
“Anything.”
“When you get out of here, don’t push him away. No matter how hard it gets or how many setbacks you have. Let him make you happy.”
“Tula.” His expression hardened. “We’re going to get you—”
“Promise me.”
His gaze shifted to Ricky and held. “I promise.”
“You love him.”
“Yes.” He tucked a finger under her chin, lifting it. “And you. I love you.”
A heavy pang hit her heart, and oh, God, the wonderful wretchedness of it. This harsh, deliciously damaged man was worried he’d hurt her with his cruelty. But it was his love that would leave the deepest scar.
He wanted her now, but would he love her in three years? Would she even be the same person by the time she walked out of here?
She couldn’t predict the future, but the present was directly in front of her. This moment, right now, was within reach, and she grabbed onto it with both hands.
Their mouths came together. Their chests collided, and they fell onto the mattress in a rolling grind of bodies.
His weight pressed down on top of her, and his kisses turned ravenous. He stripped her of her clothing, and she shoved down his briefs. Then they were naked, skin to skin, heart to heart, staring into each other’s eyes.
“Ricky,” he said gruffly without looking away.
“Here.” Ricky pressed a condom into Martin’s hand. “Slow and easy. If it gets dark in your head, I’ll pull you back.”
Martin tore open the condom and rolled it on. With his hips between her legs, he ran his fingers along her slit, spreading her wetness.
She moaned. “Martin.”
He shushed her and bit her lips. Then he trailed those soaked fingers over her nipple. “Are you scared?”
“Yeah. I’m scared you won’t ever put it in.”
He bared his teeth with a growl and drove his hips into hers, filling her up in one long thrust.
Their eyes connected. Their breaths held. Then they burst into movement.
“Goddamn, Tula.” He pistoned into her, holding her close and kissing her with a possessive tongue.
She gasped at the wet burn between her legs and flexed upward, chasing his rhythm, desperate to take all of him.
He was magnificently long and thick. Every thrust required effort, working each inch deeper and deeper. Before he buried to the root, he pulled back, slowly dragging all that heaviness away. Then he plunged again.
“You fit this huge thing inside Ricky?” She squeezed her inner muscles, making him groan.
“I didn’t hear any complaints.” He rubbed his nose along hers and gave her a gorgeous smile. “You’re going to take us both.”
Her heart rate went wild. “Don’t tease me.”
He scooped her up into his strong arms and rolled to his back while keeping them joined. With her legs straddling his incredible body, she sat up and ran her hands over the carved grooves of his chest and abs.