Anyone who isn’t Karen.
“That sounds like a plan.”
She smiles as if she’s won the lottery. I order a couple more shots; it’s the only way that I’m going to forget about Karen. This red-haired beauty looks nothing like Karen; she’s older, and more sophisticated. Besides, Karen’s most likely with Daniel, I reason, otherwise why would her car still be in the same spot? She’s probably driven him home because he was too drunk to do it himself.
Karen’s not even worth thinking about, I decide, after I look at my phone and after all the messages and calls I made to her when she bailed out of the restaurant. She hasn’t even bothered to call back. So, why does it bother me so much? I know that after a few more shots I seriously won’t give a fuck.
“Have another shot, pretty boy,” Cherry says to me, and a shot glass sets down with amber liquid being poured in.
I pick it up and am about to drink it.
When I think of the next one.
The shot will hit me good.
The next one after that will make looser and freer.
Cherry’s hands are already on my thigh. I know in two more drinks they’ll be in my pants.
I’ll go home with her.
Fuck her.
Make her cum. Hard.
And that’ll be it with Karen.
Daniel? I don’t know what’s going on there. But Karen will definitely be gone for good if I go down this path.
I might be mad at her now. But I’m not ready to throw it all away. Not yet.
I put the glass down back on the bar.
“I gotta go,” I tell a disappointed looking Cherry and I get up.
“You sure?” she asks me, clearly upset. I nod.
In a few minutes, I’ve left.
I need to find Karen. I need to be with her.13KarenThis whole thing is crazy. I don’t even get what the fuck happened in Mama Mia’s.
Don’t look at me like that, okay? I’m telling you the truth I don’t know what’s going on.
Yes, if you need to know, I’ve been spending time with Colt. We’ve been fooling around a bit, which was why we didn’t even make it to the restaurant on time.
But on the other hand, Daniel’s acting as if he owns me and I hate it. Both he and Colt, actually, are trying to own me.
Daniel doesn’t own me. Colt doesn’t own me. No one does.
I still don’t understand though why Daniel cares so much to make such a big fucking deal. Shit, he’s not even bothered about me. If he was, then why not talk to me after that night. Ever since we spent that amazing night together, he’s been avoiding me like the plague. It’s a good thing that Colt’s been around to keep me company, otherwise I really would be in New York right now.
I hate Daniel, because he made me feel cheap. I don’t deserve that. Now that I’ve been with Colt, Daniel wants to act like the jealous boyfriend. No wonder Mom left him. He’s the type of guy that doesn’t know what he wants and likes to play games. Now I see why he’s changed his image so much and why he snuck out that night after he nearly fucked my brains out.
I decide that staying at the house isn’t a good idea. I pick up my phone in tears, “Sandra it’s me.”
I need to get the fuck out of here. At this rate, I’ll have a shit summer, and then go back to Harvard even more stressed than I am already. I don’t need or deserve it.
“What’s up? You sound like you’re not happy.”
I sniffle and try and control my breathing and what I need to say, “Please can you help me? I’m going to go back home. I did a terrible thing.”
“What?”And it hits me. Right then.
This whole thing is my fault.
“I’m the reason they’re fighting,” I say into the phone. “I should have never slept with either of them.”
“Karen, stop. Not only are you scaring me, but you’re rambling, which means that it’s been pretty bad. Just tell me what you need.”
“I just need a place to crash, and a friend’s shoulder to cry on,” I tell her. “Can I drive over to you?”
“You got it. But please, don’t drive from California in your condition, babe,” she tells me. “I’m going to look online and book you a flight. I just don’t want you on the road in your condition.”
I take a few deep breaths and try and calm down. I need to tell her what’s going on, but before I can even say another word, she says, “Calm down. I’ll get you a flight for the morning. Doubt I’ll get anything now. Will you be okay to stay on your own till the morning?”
I tell her yes; I can leave my car at the house. There are so many things going in and out of my head right now that I can’t even think straight.