‘Calm down … It’s going to be okay.’ He tries to me consoling as he maneuvers me around the desks and heads toward the front area of the building.
‘Where are we going?’ I gasp for air. ‘Are you kicking me out?’ Right as we say it, we round the corner and enter the waiting room where Luke is sitting. He’s staring at the ground, his head hung low, but his focus snaps up when we enter because I’m being extremely loud.
‘What happened?’ he asks as he rushes over toward me, scanning me from head to toe.
There’s an awkward transfer as Detective Stephner hands me over to Luke and I think in his own way Detective Stephner is helping me, as if he knows Luke is the one thing I need right now. ‘I need you to come with us to my office.’
Luke’s arms wrap around my waist and it takes some of the pain away, but not all of it. ‘Why?’ Luke asks Detective Stephner.
The detective looks at Luke. ‘Because I need to talk to Violet some more, but you’re the only one who she seems to listen to. So calm her down and bring her back please so we can have a rational conversation.’
‘Asshole,’ I say, even though I’m not really angry at him. Just angry.
The Detective shoots me a warning look then walks off.
After he vanishes around the corner again, Luke pulls me closer to him, my back pressed against his chest. ‘What’d she do?’
‘She sang that stupid fucked up song … no one even asked her to … it’s like she wanted to get caught or something.’ My breathing is ravenous, my heart tremulous. Everything about me is unsteady at the moment and the only thing holding me up is him.
‘No, she wanted to fuck with your head,’ he says through gritted teeth. ‘That’s what she does.’
It’s strange to think how much he knows her, the monster standing on the other side of the glass. He’s firsthand felt her pain, felt the damage she can inflict, and as strange as it is, it makes me feel connected to him, calms me down the slightest bit.
He exhales. ‘The scream …’
‘That was me,’ I admit, struggling to breath normally again. ‘I lost it … I didn’t even know what was happening to me … I just sort of snapped.’
‘Baby … I …’
‘I’m fine.’
He places a kiss on the back of my head. ‘No you’re not. What can I do to help?’
‘You’re here … that’s enough for now.’ And I mean it. Luke is having this strange calming effect over me, like he’s holding me above the water when I feel like I’m about to drown again. ‘We should probably go back though before Detective Stephner thinks I’ve bailed.’
He nods then reluctantly releases me. I want to grab his arms and wrap them back around me, but he steps up to the side of me and slips his arm around the back of me. I look into his eyes, similar to the ones that belonged to the monster on the other glass, at least in the shape and color. But that’s it and everything else about them – everything else about him is different. He makes me feel comforted instead of utterly terrified. He makes me feel safe when no one else can.
See, this is what I’m afraid of. Losing this. What would I become if it was gone?
The answer is terrifying to think about.
Chapter 11
Luke
I heard the scream. God I heard the scream. It sounded like Violet’s and I wanted to run to her but the receptionist wouldn’t let me back. I could only breathe freely again when I see Violet again. Then Violet told me what my mother did and I expected her to leave me, walk out on me right there. But she seems to be having the opposite reaction, wanting to be closer to me instead of further away.
She lets me lead her back to Detective Stephner’s office, my arm around her back and her head resting against my shoulder. She’s practically glued to my side, which I one hundred percent don’t mind. I just wish it was under different circumstances. Wish it wasn’t for this.
The rundown from the detective is quick. Even though he doesn’t full-out say it, he basically tells us that right now there’s probably enough evidence to build a case against Mira and that things will start to move. They are going to be questioning her, to try and find out who the other person was at Violet’s house that night.
After the detective is finished, he dismisses us¸ but stops me before I walk out. He kind of guides me back into the room as Violet wanders out into the cubicle area, unaware that the detective has pulled me back. ‘Just so you know, when this gets going, you might be contacted to be a witness … from both parties. I thought I’d let you know, considering,’ he nods his head in Violet’s direction.
I know what he’s saying. That not only could I help put my mom behind bars, but I could also help free her. Like I would ever do that. But the idea of going up in front of her to help put her away has me feeling like the scared little boy inside me, the one that grew up with that horrendous woman. Could I do it? Get up on a stand and talk about my mother with her sitting there watching me?
‘Thanks for the warning,’ I tell the detective then walk out of his office, my head swimming with thoughts, a lot that make me hate myself for being so fucking weak, so afraid of the woman who raised me – or the woman who I lived with when I was younger. Raised doesn’t seem like the right word at all.
‘What was that about?’ Violet asks as I walk past the cubicles and up to her.
I circle my arms around her waist. ‘Nothing. He just wanted me to keep an extra eye on you.’
‘You already do enough for me.’ She rests her head against my chest. ‘What more could you do?’
‘A lot, lot more,’ I assure her as we start for the door. ‘Come on, let’s get you home.’
‘Home sounds good.’ She sounds as exhausted as I feel.
A few minutes later, we’re in my truck, getting ready to drive down the road toward home. I’m about to pull out onto the street, when I notice Violet is cradling her arm against her chest.
I tap on the brake and stop in the exit area. ‘Wait. What happened to your arm?’
Violet blinks her attention away from the window, looks down at her arm, then back at me. ‘Oh … I hit it against the window when Mira sang … I can’t even really remember doing it … I just sort of lost it.’ Her eyes flash with an unnerving frustration that sends a chill down my spine. ‘See, this is why I have to do the things I do, Luke.’ She raises her arm and winces. ‘Otherwise I end up snapping and lose my shit.’