"W— wait— what?" Alarm colored my tone, and I leaned back as weak, initial panic slammed into me. "Why? Will I have to be re-prescribed my CPAP? I finally got to sleep all night. The closest pulmonologist is in Providence— that's an hour drive from here. What if I die of an asthma attack?"
"No, you won't have to give back your machine, and it may be an hour away, but in a medical emergency, I'd be the one on call."
My brows rose higher even as relief slumped my shoulders, and Carl smiled softly. Propping his elbows on the table to fist his hands together, he held his chin on laced fingers.
"To be honest, this whole thing with HR and Eva that happened this week scared the absolute shit out of me, Mel. I realized at some point that if there really wasn't anything going on between you and I, there'd be no reason to be that worried. I want to refer you out because I'd like to take you out on a date."
"O— oh... but... is that allowed? Isn't that unethical or something?"
His expression grew troubled from my probing, and I gnawed on my inner cheek diligently. My heart did a little flip as excitement trilled in my ears faintly, but knowing Carl was essentially jeopardizing his job to date me... well, it put a damper on things.
"We haven't done anything wrong..."
"I want to."
My lips parted in an 'o' when Carl spoke up immediately, biting the affirmation through his teeth. His bare chest rippled powerfully when he inhaled deeply, and my eyes slid down before I caught myself. The ropes of muscles in his arms strained slightly under his skin, his arm hairs bristling, and I gulped down the lump in my throat.
"It's not unethical unless I use your medical information illegally, like looking up your phone number or where you live in your file for personal contact. If I refer you out, you won't be my patient anymore. There's no set time in my contract that I have to wait. You just can't be a current patient."
"Yeah..." I couldn't even imagine the struggle Carl was enduring, and all because he thought I was attractive and vice versa. "Ha— have you ever had a crush on a patient before?"
"Not beyond very brief admiration of their looks. Most of my patients during my residency came to me because they had cancer or COPD or had destroyed themselves from decades of smoking."
Despite the heaviness of the conversation, the gentle sea breeze carried away the dense atmosphere. Suddenly, the awkwardness seeped down the bench legs, and I leaned forward to pick up my almost forgotten taco with a small nod.
"Did you go to college, Mel?"
"Yeah. I just did two years at the community college in Warwick for business. I figured it was the most versatile thing I could do, and also it'd help me with my money. It's a lot easier having a grasp of how it all works. I definitely wouldn't say I'm talented— average at best."
"You've just been living off it?"
Nodding again, I took a bite of my shrimp taco.
Carl hummed softly. He took a deep gulp of his iced tea, a thoughtfulness in his eyes over the rim of his cup. "Did you invest in anything?"
"When my mom decided to leave my dad, she bought shares at a real estate investment startup. I live off the returns. I guess, technically, I don't actually have all that money, since almost all of it was put into the startup. The real estate agency sends me a bottle of wine every year on the day my mom died. I still try to keep my expenses low, anyway. My mom may have given me the money, but it really was my dad who showed me exactly what I didn't want to end up happening with it." I swallowed my bite before I spoke up, and I frowned a little sourly at my own words. "I don't know what to do. He hasn't tried to call me or anything, which... I don't know if that's a good thing or not."
"It's a good thing. My mom recently got a boyfriend, and she never stops talking about him. Somehow, all conversation becomes about him. I could be dying, and she'd lament that he never got to know me or something."
I snorted a little in amusement, but Carl was clearly miffed about the situation.
"She can't see he's using her, and it's infuriating."
"I know I'm bias, but I can't think anyone is dumb enough to date my dad and not see him for the green monster he is. I mean, it's one thing if the woman wants to spend on him, but... ugh. Just ugh." Shaking my head at my own words, I scrunched up my nose in disgust. "My dad really let himself go. I get it. He's fifty-nine in October, but..."