“Girl, you are killing me. Do you think I should call him?” I asked her .
Now it was her turn to groan. “You have literally told me nothing about this guy. You won’t even tell me what its concerning. How can I offer any insight ?”
“I don’t know,” I grumbled. “I thought you would be able to give me something to work with .”
“Fine,” she said. “If it were me, I would call him and find out what the hell is going on. You are an attractive, smart, witty, and stubborn woman. Are you really going to tell me that you prefer to stay home and wait around your phone for a man to call? I don’t think so, that’s not the Tabitha I know and love .”
“I guess you are right,” I said, still unsure .
“I know for damn sure that I am right. We are not women to wait around for men. The Tabitha I know would be calling him for answers then shoving them down his throat if they aren’t the ones she likes. What happened to that Tabitha? When did ‘no’ become an acceptable first response ?”
“When I started getting it left and right to other women with bigger boobs,” I muttered .
“What?” she asked .
I sighed. “It’s a long story. I just don’t want to end up like Mom, using men to get where I want in life without any thought to the repercussions of what will happen to them .”
“You are nothing like her and you never will be. If anything, I’m the one who should be worried about that. They foot the bill for everything I do. How do you think that makes me feel? I wish that I was half the woman you are .”
“Don’t be silly. If you needed to you could go out and get a job to pay your own way right now. You have the looks and the brains .”
“And so do you,” she said, a note of finality in her voice .
“Thanks, sis,” I told her .
As usual, talking to my little sister had pulled me out of the slump I’d drifted back into. My interview on Monday went great. So great that I had a second interview lined up for tomorrow, but now I wasn’t so confident about it. Earl had seemed so in to me on Friday, but I hadn’t heard anything from him. Now I was concerned and doubting myself all over again. I knew that Selina was right. I was the whole package and any man would be lucky to have me .
Then why hadn’t he called ?
“Are you still there?” Selina asked .
“Yeah,” I said with a jump. “Sorry I was just thinking about what you were saying. You are right. I’m going to call him and find out just what the hell his problem is .”
“Good for you! I’m going to go out drinking! Another final, another one aced. I’m killing this last term .”
“That’s my girl. I love you, kiddo, be safe out there okay ?”
“You better believe it. I love you too, sis .”
“And remember, you are young. Don’t go falling in love with some dumbass .”
“Never! Freedom till the day I die,” she said with a manic laugh. “Or until I start to get gray hair. Whatever comes first .”
I laughed at her antics. “That’s the spirit. See you later, kid .”
I hung up and held my phone in my hand for a few seconds just looking at it. I was willing it to ring and to be Earl, but nothing happened. I felt the depression starting to come back. Maybe it was because my apartment was powerless or the job offer I had was barely enough to keep food on the table, but I was running on steam. The only hope that had kept me moving was that I would be getting a new set of breasts from my newfound step-brother. It seemed that I couldn’t even count on him though. With a heavy heart, I flopped down on the bed and closed my eyes. At least when I was asleep I could forget about the pile of shit that was my life .
* * *
T he buzzing wouldn’t stop as my heart raced. I tried to get away from it and protect myself, but in the darkness, it was moving closer. I couldn’t see it, but I could feel it. Never ending to the point that it would drive me slowly insane. I gasped, sitting up in bed as my phone lit up the darkness. Earl’s number kept popping up on the screen. My racing heart quickly turned into a flurry of butterflies .
I swallowed a dry breath as I quickly answered the phone. “Hello ?”
“Hey, Tabitha?” he asked .
Of course he wouldn’t recognize my voice. It had been so long since I’d talked to him. Something that I fully blamed him for. For a few seconds I left him hanging on the line .
“Are you there?” Earl asked again .
“Yes, what do you want?” I said sharply .
“Wow,” he stammered. “That wasn’t quite the response I thought I would get. Did I wake you up ?”
“No,” I lied .
“What’s wrong? You sound funny? Is everything okay ?”
“Did you call for a reason?” I asked him .
I wanted to be nice to him, but my heart wouldn’t let me. I knew that he felt the same way about me, how could he not? After the night we’d spent together I thought that he would be jumping to call me, but it was one in the morning on a Friday, a full week after he said he would call me almost .
“I didn’t mean to wake you up if I did. I just thought that you would be working tonight,” he said with a sad tone .
“Earl, it’s late. I need to get some sleep. If you called to tell me you won’t do the procedure then you are wasting your breath. I already figured that out when you didn’t call me back after a week .”
“Oh,” he said quickly. “Oh, I knew you were going to think that! I didn’t mean to not call you. To be honest, it was a bit of a fiasco .”
“I’m sure,” I muttered. I didn’t believe him. Men lied, that’s just how it was. People couldn’t be trusted .
“Do you want me to tell you everything that happened or do you want to hear my offer ?”
My heart started to race again. I could push him so far with my bad mood and sulky attitude. I could sense that he was reaching the end of my pouting person and to be honest, I was thrilled that he’d called me. I wanted to talk to him. Hell, I even wanted to see him, but I knew I had to play it cool. With a rather dramatic sigh, I told him to start talking .
“Well I couldn’t give them to you for free. Even if I wanted too, you wouldn’t accept it. So I have another offer for you .”
“Okay,” I muttered. “I’m not — ”
“Having sex with me or moving from your hole. I know, you already told me that,” he said quickly. “This is something else and you should know head of time that there are no other options. It’s either this or you pay full price .”
“Great, I like my odds already. So, what do I have to do? Walk on nails? Eat
glass ?”
He laughed, “Of course not! Nothing like that. I want you to have dinner with me tomorrow night. And I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer .”
“Okay, that doesn’t sound too bad. When and where ?”
“The address is one-one-three, Lake Front Street, Merci, New York .”
I had started to write the address down, but halfway through I froze. My hand wrapped around the pencil I was holding and squeezed until it snapped in half. There was no need to write the address down. It was one that I knew all too well because I had seen it before. It had been on the wedding invitation my sister had for my mother’s ceremony .
“What are you playing at?” I hissed .
“I think that you are giving your mom a bad rap. I get that you two probably had some tough times growing up, but I want you to sit down and have one meal with her. After that, I will do the job and you never have to talk to her again if you don’t want .”
“Are you kidding me? I’d rather walk on the nails while eating glass! This is a terrible idea. Does she know that I am coming?” I stammered .
“Just let me take care of all the details. All you have to do is show up. So what do you think? Are a few hours with your mother worth a new set of breasts ?”
“Honestly?” I said. “I don’t think so .”
“Seriously.”
I clenched my jaw. I didn’t want to see that evil woman ever again, but for them, I had no choice. I was never going to get out of this pit if I didn’t change my look. If seeing her was the only way to get them then I would suffer through it .
“Fine, you win,” I said coldly. “I will have dinner with her, but when this plan of yours backfires, I expect an apology .”
“The same goes for you!” he added. “You better be thanking me left and right when you realize it was so long ago that your mother doesn’t care about it anymore .”
“I know she doesn’t care, because she never cared. The only think that woman loves more than herself is money. You are going to figure that out the hard way come tomorrow night .”
“We will see then,” he said confidently .