“Can you at least tell us how long this has been going on? Is this something the three of you planned up after our Christmas dinner? Or, was this going on even before then?”
“No, we didn’t plan for this to happen,” I answered. How could I explain myself without giving all the dirty details? “It was Chad’s idea. He just sort of barged in when Ted and I were together and it just happened.”
“You just happened to make a porno that was basically broadcasted throughout the hospital,” my mom muttered, rubbing the bridge of her nose.
“So,” Paul said, after a long silence, “where do we go from here? How do we proceed?”
“We?”
“You’re not the only one who’s going to suffer the consequences. Your mother and I have been thoroughly embarrassed. I can hardly look any of the staff in the face. I’m embarrassed to even talk with the other physicians that I’ve been working with for years. I’m worried that we’ll all have to leave the hospital to escape this scandal.”
“Leave the hospital? I just got here,” I protested.
“Then it should be easy for you to leave,” my mom replied coolly. “I would advise you to start looking for another job. Once you find a suitable replacement, turn in your resignation. You haven’t built up a large following of regulars yet, so the other doctors can spread your work out amongst them.”
“Why do I have to leave? I’m not the one who filmed or released the videos.”
“Oh, I assure you, my son will also be looking for a new job. With any luck, everyone will forget that he even worked here. I was so close to retirement, too. I just couldn’t go before my son completely ruined my legacy at this hospital. I always tell him that he should do better in just about every aspect of his life, and does he listen? Never.”
Suddenly, I felt very defensive of Chad. He fucked up, but he didn’t deserve this. I didn’t either.
“I think you are both blowing this out of proportion,” I said calmly, trying to reason with them. “It’s a terrible, terrible mistake, but it has absolutely nothing to do with our work as medical professionals. What we do in our personal lives should not have any bearing on patient care.”
“Our professional lives are our entire lives,” my mom said. “This is what we do. This is what our community knows us for. Do you think Paul and I want to be remembered for our hard work, or do you think we prefer to be remembered as the parents of two sexual deviants who show their private acts to the whole world? I can assure you, people love a good scandal. This isn’t something we can just walk away from.”
“Not to mention,” Paul chimed in, “Chad is your brother now. Do you know how horrifying it is for both of us to realize that we went wrong somewhere when we raised you? We gave you kids everything, and this is what you do in your free time. It’s downright disgusting.”
“It’s just sex, for fuck’s sake!” I shouted. I could feel hot tears of frustration behind my eyes, ready to come out. “I don’t know what kind of weird shit you do in your bedroom, but all it takes is one little mistake and the whole world knows. I’m not going to sit here and listen to you two lecture me on what’s proper. I’m an adult, and I have work to do. If you would excuse me, I’d like to take care of my patients today.”
I strode out of my office without looking back at my mom and stepfather. I understood their concern, but they were taking things too far. Besides, it was a little hard for me to care about their reputations when I still had mine to worry about.
Instead of seeing my patients, I made a beeline for the bathroom and slumped down into a stall just as the tears started leaking from my eyes. I couldn’t believe how something so wonderful had gone so wrong in just a day. I regretted ever talking to Chad at the Christmas party or letting Ted drive me home after dinner. Two men whom I cared about deeply were now the cause of my professional downfall.
I had worked so hard to get to this hospital and to make a name for myself. I wasn’t just the daughter of Dr. Saunders—I was my own person, and a brilliant one at that.
Once my body ran out of tears to cry, I stood up and dried my eyes on the scratchy one-ply tissue. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t like what I saw. My face was red and my eyes were puffy. I splashed a few handfuls of cold water on my face and dabbed it with a paper towel. A little better.
Before I walked back into the hallway, I noticed that I had a new text message. I hoped it was from Chad, so I could find where he was and beat his ass, but instead, it was from Ted. He only wrote two words:
Call me.
So he knew. Otherwise, he would have needed a little more clarification. No, if he knew about it and just didn’t tell me, he would want to talk to explain himself. I
couldn’t trust him either.
I expected this kind of thing from Chad. He was a playboy and everyone knew that he had the reputation of being a bad boy. I knew he had a gentler interior, but even I knew he was a bit of a wildcard. That’s what made him so attractive. He was too good to be true.
Ted, on the other hand, was supposed to be a genuinely good guy. Even Chad told me that his friend was well-behaved and romantic. I thought I knew exactly what I was getting with Ted. He was supposed to be wholesome and caring. He was never afraid to show that side of himself to me.
Yet, apparently, he was more loyal to Chad than he was to me. He and Chad had history—I was just some dumb girl who fell into their trap. I was starting to wonder how much of our tangled love triangle of a relationship was natural and genuine, and which part was carefully planned and staged. I couldn’t trust either one of them now.
I was alone now. I just needed to figure out what my next move was and how I would fix this terrible, fucked up situation. When my mom laid out my options, it seemed like I would have to find a new place to practice and just start all over again.
Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad, to begin again. I could move across the country and make all new friends. It would be hard, but I could do it.
Still, I wondered if I could ever truly depart this place, knowing that so much of my heart was woven into the hospital that I called home. As much as I hated Chad and Ted at this particular moment, would I be able to move on? I could hardly keep myself away from them as it was.
If I left, would the uncertainty of it all haunt me forever?
Chapter Fourteen
Chad
“Whitney won’t call me back, dude. What should I do? Do you think she’s okay?”
“Let me think.” I shushed Ted. I crouched down in a supply closet so I could have a moment alone. I had been dodging people all morning. I even hunted down Tessa and explained my situation and begged her to delete the videos. She looked embarrassed to get caught spreading that stuff around, so she agreed. It was too late by then, though. The damage had been done.