I could see Jake’s point. My mom had fought hard to find love again. She was happy. I didn’t want to do anything to fuck that up for her. But I also felt like I was getting a second chance here with Jake. That this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that I couldn’t let pass me by. “What if we agreed to keep it secret, even if things go south? What if we just decide to enjoy a good time together, and we don’t tell anybody, ever.”
Jake’s fingers tapped on my knee, then slowly slid a few inches up my leg, showing me that he was tempted. But in the end, he said, “Not my style.”
The finality of that struck me hard, and my belly ached a little. I don’t think I even realized how much I wanted him until it was made clear, again, that I couldn’t have him. Only this time it was so much worse, because I knew he wanted me too.
He hung his head, forgetting the video game completely. And he sat like that for a long moment, before glancing at me to say, “Besides, it was never just a good time that I wanted from you, Nicole. I always wanted more.”
~~~
My heart suddenly banged hard against my rib cage, forcing me to sit up and squeak. “More?”
I watched redness crawl up my stepbrother’s neck. He couldn’t look at me. And his skin suddenly felt like it was ten thousand degrees. “A lot more, yeah. You’re sexy. Super sexy. I’m not going to deny it. But what I feel for you…”
He felt something for me? I was so surprised I forgot any notion of trying to play it cool. Instead, I stared right into his eyes and asked, “What do you feel?”
“I dunno,” he said, fists curling. “But I feel something. And I haven’t—I haven’t felt anything since…since before I went to war. And I wasn’t sure I could still feel anything.”
I didn’t make him spell it out for me. I didn’t think he was capable of it. I think he tried, but whenever he opened his mouth to say more, his expression was so pained it was as if he couldn’t.
He just sat there, making balls of his fists and releasing them again. Until all at once, I think he tried to show me instead of tell me.
He took my face in his big boxer’s hands so gently, it was if he was afraid he might break me, and goosebumps raised on my arms. Then he kissed a soft line down my injured jaw, eliciting from me a little whimper. Before I could really make sense of the soft sensations, he rubbed his thumb over the hollow of my throat, and traced it down between my breasts, where it rested on my sternum.
And I sat there, too stunned to move, because I’d never been kissed—or touched—this way before. I didn’t do gentle. And yet, I felt suddenly so small and cherished that I didn’t know what to make of my own trembling reaction to it. Especially when he said, “You are the most beautiful fucking thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”
I guess there were a thousand different ways it could’ve gone in that moment. I knew how to seduce guys. I could’ve grabbed at his shirt and peeled it off him. I could’ve grabbed for his cock, and encouraged him to take me hard and fast on the couch. But something about this felt so different…that I asked, “Do you want to… make love?”
The words felt naive and awkward in my mouth.
But they also felt true.
Jake gulped a deep breath. “Oh, yeah. But I’m having trouble believing that’s what you want. Or that it’s best for you.”
“I have to start learning for myself what’s best for me,” I said, stroking his side, just where his jeans and his shirt met. “And right now, I’m pretty sure it’s you.”
Jake stood up. And for a moment, I was afraid he was going to walk away, but then he picked me up. Literally picked me up. And he carried me to the bedroom.
I dragged in a ragged breath, realizing that this was really happening. After all these years, we were really going to find out what was between us. And I got so instantly wet between my legs that I thought I was melting into a puddle.
Setting me down on the end of the bed, Jake stripped off his shirt and jeans, then knelt before me. And while he was watching me so intently, I peeled off my own shirt and dropped it on the floor. My god, the way his eyes feasted on my pale breasts was enough to make my heart flutter.
“Jesus Christ,” he murmured, worshipfully. “I think I’m going to burst into flames. Your body is everything.”
I appreciated that. I really did. But I was way too busy picking my own jaw up off the floor at the way he looked naked. Because while his toned boxer’s torso was a thing of beauty, the whole package was…well, quite a package. Even feeling him hard against my thigh, I hadn’t anticipated how well endowed he was.
My mouth watered to get my hands on him. Unfortunately, he was all about getting his hands on me. His thumbs found my rosy nipples, and brushed them both. Then his hands trailed down my hips, skimming his pajama bottoms off me and exposing my body to him, naked. Entirely naked.
“I want to touch you, too, Jake.”
“Awesome,” he said. “But first, I need to taste you. Or I’m going to snap and lose my shit…”
Whoa. Ok. There was no arguing with that. I loved how turned on he was, and I loved even more when he just lowered me back onto the bed so that he could get between my legs. First he planted a soft kiss on my pussy. Then his fingers found my aching, pulsing clit, but he didn’t linger there. Instead, he found my entrance, and slid into the first knuckle, then back out again before tasting me on his fingertip.
It made me wetter to watch him do it. Wetter to know that he must’ve liked my taste, because he made a small sound of appreciation at the back of his throat, then lowered his head between my legs to wriggle his tongue against my clit.
It wasn’t the first time a guy had gone down on me. But it usually wasn’t my favorite thing. It usually felt kind of sloppy and hurried, not to mention incredibly vulnerable. Not with Jake. At least not the sloppy hurried part. He wordlessly settled my knees over his shoulders, and began to explore with such interest and focus that I felt like the center of his world—even if he’d done this a hundred times before with a hundred other girls.
I started to squirm, but he pinned my hips down with his hand. “I’m going to make you come, Nicole,” he said, then gave a flick of his tongue over my clit that made my whole body tremble. “Don’t fight me.”
The thing is, I’m pretty sure if I did fight him, I’d have won. Jake would never force something on me; I knew that. But the way his hand held my hips still gave me some kind of permission I needed to enjoy what he was doing. And oh boy, I enjoyed it. Because Jake knew how to use his whole mouth—tongue, lips, teeth—to drive me wild. And that’s to say nothing of his fingers, which steadily stroked a spot inside me with a come-hither motion that turned my mind to mush.