I just have to laugh, then, even though, by the sounds of it, Tara is not a happy camper right now. It must be fate, I send.
Girl, don’t even joke about that. Seriously, you owe me.
I’m dying of curiosity about exactly what is going on with Tara and her unexpected twins, but it doesn’t sound like now is a good time to press for details. I’ll take you to lunch, I offer.
She shoots back, I will take you up on that the second I have a moment’s free time, which may be never.
Now my mind is imagining all sorts of possibilities, most of which make me smile, but I’m also a little concerned. Tara, hon, are you okay? Beyond the omg twins part?
The answer is too long in coming. I’m not in any physical danger, if that’s what you mean.
I’m torn between laughter and worry. That’s not enough, I send. Tell me something that lets me know you’re really all right.
Another pause, and then, This is Deke. Tara’s busy right now. And then nothing.
Well, I never! I send another message but no response comes, so I message Megan, just to keep her in the loop.
She answers right away with an OMG!
I know, right? I send. Should we go check on her?
Sounds like she’s got a bossy alpha male problem, in which case our butting in would not go over well.
I bite my lip. Yeah, but …
Let’s give her a few hours at least. If we haven’t heard from her, we’ll reassess. I’ll talk to the guys and see what they say.
That seems reasonable. Tara is a big girl, after all, and she could have sent some kind of coded distress signal in the time she had. She’s probably fine.
But I can’t wait to find out what’s going on.
The rest of the day seems to drag. I clean more of the apartment just for something to do, read my book, watch a movie. None of it satisfies.
In the evening, the twins message me with light chitchat of the “how was your day” variety. I’m ridiculously glad to hear from them, even for a few minutes, but when they don’t ask if I have plans, or invite themselves over, I’m not sure if I’m relieved or disappointed.
Actually, I know exactly how I feel, but I’m not willing to admit it to myself.
Of course we have to lead our own lives. That’s healthy … but what if it’s more than that? The sudden thought that they could be spending time with other women, making other conquests, and I’m just their three-way fuckbuddy, is like acid flooding my soul.
We’ve never made each other any promises. I have no right to make demands on them, nor they on me. If they intend to date other people, well, I can do that too.
Talk about hollow victories.
34
Do What We Need To
Lucas
I don’t like giving Zoe space.
I’ve grown used to having her near. Her scent, the sound of her laughter, the way she moves … all of it has gotten deep under my skin. A day that doesn’t include her no longer feels complete.
The idea that she might use even a temporary distance from us to shake us off, try to treat us like her fuck fantasy, a two-night stand and nothing more … it doesn’t sit well.
Not at all.
Every instinct I have says we should keep on like we’re still guarding her. That a day shouldn’t go by when we’re not in her space. In her bed. In her.
But she’s just been through an ordeal, and much as it galls me, we haven’t got the right — yet — to demand space in her life. So we’ve agreed, Alex and I, to give her the weekend on her own. Two whole days without having to see our faces.
I hate it.
Judging by his mood this wintry Sunday morning, Alex does too. We’re in the gym at our complex, and I’m spotting him while he lifts. He looks like he wants to chew up the weights and the bar and spit them out.
After his third grim-faced set, he sits up to take a break. I hand him his water. “Want to check on her?” I ask.
He freezes with the bottle in midair, then takes a sip and lowers it. “We agreed to give her some time.”
“We agreed we should. But neither of us really wants to.”
“So we should stalk her instead?”
“Just a little bit,” I say, and he cracks a reluctant smile. “Make sure everything’s okay.”
“Make sure she’s not moving on, you mean.”
“That.” I don’t mind admitting it. “She may need recovery time, but we don’t want to give her the impression that we’re going away, that she’s a free agent. Not without giving us the chance to make our case.”