The heat of the day hadn’t quite reached a peak yet, so it was nice to sit outside for now. I ate barbecued chicken, potato salad, and macaroni and cheese but I didn’t taste any of it. We were all quiet, too busy staring at each other to taste the food or talk. We knew what we were here for. To say goodbye to each other for a month.
It wasn’t the best way to start a relationship, especially when we’d already been apart for weeks, but it couldn’t be helped. And the fellas would be doing good things on their trip, as well as making a huge decision about their future. I wanted to beg them to stay, to not leave me, but I knew this had to be done, for their sakes.
They could decide to stop seeing me a few months from now, maybe I’d turn out to be too fucking goofy or something, and if I influenced them one way or the other, they might regret that decision. I’d told them before, it was their lives and their decisions.
We left all of that behind after lunch was over. We didn’t talk about what was to come or what we all had to do now that we were educated adults. We cleared the dishes away, and Daniel went over to the entertainment center and put on a playlist. Soft, sensual sound filtered through the air and I smiled at him. I went to him and danced with him slowly. This is what he wanted then. Sensual, slow love.
“I don’t want to tell you goodbye,” he said as we danced around the living room, my arms around his neck while his hand rested against my hip.
“I don’t want you to leave either, but you have to, I’m afraid,” I spoke with all the honesty I could. “You have work to do over there, and it’s good work, Daniel. You’ll be home soon enough. I’ll be here, waiting for you.”
“You’ll be in California when we get back.” His face fell into a look of despair, and I reached up to kiss his smoothly shaven face.
“I won’t. I changed the tickets to go while you’re away. I’ve also settled it with work. I’ll go in this week to have the training they want me to take, then I’ll go to California. I’ll be here when you get back,” I chuckled softly. “I’m just as eager as you are for me to be here when you get back. I’m going to miss you. All of you.”
“I’d say good, but that just sounds selfish, doesn’t it?” he smiled ruefully, and I did too.
“A little, but I’m the same way. It’s nice to be wanted.” I felt my cheeks turn red, but it was true.
“It is, to be truly wanted for who you are is incredible.”
“Why do you all want a woman to share?” I’d wanted to ask it before but hadn’t.
“Because we’re all one. We are four parts of a whole. Four women couldn’t get along, couldn’t do the things we want to do, or explore. One woman, you, can do that. Only you, Nicolette. I don’t think we’d ever do this again if you decided to call it quits.”
“Why’s that?” I had to hear it. I’ve been a good girl for weeks, I’ve not demanded to hear declarations of love, and didn’t want them, but the words they said about how they cared for me were like manna. The gestures, the way Michael always made sure I ate and rested, the way Tristan always told me goodnight, even if he knew I was asleep, the way Adam would send me a message in the mornings, to tell me he was thinking about me, and the way Daniel always wanted me to know how much he adored me, were things I didn’t know I’d craved. Not until I had them.
I glanced over at Adam, the hardest nut to crack so far. He smiled at me slowly as he looked me up and down. He cared, he might not want to, he might want to be totally independent of love for me, but he felt it. The way he couldn’t take his eyes from me, the way he lost control when he fucked me, all told me that I got to him. In a very good way.
I’m new to all of this, but I’d listened to others my whole life talk about relationship problems. I knew what was good and what was bad. I didn’t need to be clingy or be clung to, but to know I was needed was priceless.
Daniel swung me around the room one more time, then dipped me low, before he brought me back up. “You are definitely going to be missed, Nicolette.”
His lips found mine and the heat blew up between us. My first lover pressed me back, until I was up against the wall, with my head up to take his kiss while his hand ran down my body, to my back, and over my ass. He pulled my left leg up so that I’d be snug against his erection.