Chapter Nineteen
Sophia
I left the café and that hotel without a second look back. No one came after me, neither Elijah nor my mom, and I couldn’t tell whether I was disappointed or not. What I did know, was that I needed space right then, so a part of me was relieved.
The hotel was a bit of a distance from the school, so I had to hail a cab. I just barely had the funds to handle it, and it would have been cheaper to take the bus, but the next bus wouldn’t be moving for a while, and I didn’t want to wait around at the bus stop until then.
I didn’t know if I was going to break down or not, but just in case, I wanted to do it while I was alone.
The ride back, I looked out the window and refused to think about anything. There was too much to think about, anyway, and I felt like I would go crazy if I just let it all spin around in my head. When we got back, the driver had to catch my attention to get me to move and pay up; I was so preoccupied.
I nearly ran all the way to my dorm. There were a few people out and around, and I kept my head ducked down because I wasn’t sure what expression I had on my face, either.
When I got to the door, I knocked my shoulder into it without even checking if the door was unlocked or not. Surprisingly, it was, and I stumbled into the room. I looked up, and both Dana and I were a little shocked at the unexpected entrance.
“Sophia,” she said, her surprise obvious in her voice. “I thought you’d be out for a while, if not the whole day. You went out to see your mom, right?”
I nodded slowly, then turned to close the door. I practically floated over to my bed and dropped my purse, then my body, onto the mattress. I buried my face in my pillow for a long moment, holding in the urge to scream. If Dana hadn't been there, I definitely would have, because I felt like I needed it, badly.
After a long moment, when I felt like I would suffocate if I didn’t take a proper breath, I raised my head and took in a few deep, gasping breaths, before burying my face back in the pillow.
“Okay,” Dana said. “You’re obviously not going to bring it up, so I’ll ask because you’re acting weird right now. Did something happen when you went to see your mom?”
I paused for a while, then raised my head and turned to look at her. I wasn’t sure what expression I had, because my feelings weren’t clear to me yet, but it was enough to get a shock out of Dana.
“Sophia! Seriously, what happened? Did you fight with your mom over something?”
I opened my mouth, not even sure what I was going to tell her, but my cell ringing from inside my purse made me pause. I stared at my purse for a long moment, then sighed and pulled the cell out. Just walking away like that without saying anything had been too rude. I didn’t want to make things harder for my mom, but this wasn’t something I could take that easily, either.
Shit. I just realized I left Elijah alone with them. He wouldn’t…actually till them, would he? Still, I’d be relieved if he was the one to tell them about us because it would feel too awkward to tell my mom I was fucking the son of her childhood sweetheart, who she’d recently married. I wouldn’t forgive myself if my actions somehow caused her to be unhappy. It was the last thing I wanted for my wonderful mom.
I saw the text I got from Elijah, and went still, staring at his name on my cell for a long moment. I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to open it, but after a while of hesitating, I unlocked my cell and opened the message. It was simple.
Sorry, I didn’t run after you, but I’m worried. Are you okay?
Was I okay? I had no idea, so I didn’t know how to even answer his question. I thought back to a few days ago, just Friday night, the night before yesterday, when we were in his room doing…that. It made me want to bleach my mind when I thought about my mom and his dad doing the same when they met in the Bahamas. But, they were grown-ups. So they must have done it, right?
It was weird…wasn’t it?
I’m fine, I sent back, short and to the point.
I set my cell down and distanced myself from it as it could bite me.
“Um, Sophia? Don’t tell me you forgot I was even here.”
I looked up. “Oh, sorry. Just…a message.”
“So? What happened?”
I breathed in deeply, then exhaled slowly. I figured I might as well say something to her. Besides, if I couldn’t scream my head off about it, then telling someone was the next best thing, right?
“So, it’s like this,” I started. “I went out to meet my mom, only she wasn’t alone, right? She’s there with thi
s man, who she tells me is her husband. I didn’t see it, but she had a new ring on. She hasn’t worn my dad’s for a while so that I can tell.”
“Whoa,” Dana murmured. “Really?”
I nodded my head as I hummed. “That isn’t even the bad part. That’s good, and I am happy for her. She looked happy, and he didn’t look like he would hurt her. But the bad part…shit, Dana. The guy has a son, my age, in this school, in my major, and on the hockey team.”
She gave me a strange look. “It wasn’t Logan, was it?”
I frowned at her and shook my head. “Not Logan, Dana. Of all people…it just had to be Elijah.”
Her face shifted in understanding, then sympathy. “Well, shit.”
I sighed and curled on my bed, hugging my knees to my chest. I felt my eyes sting, too, and I rested my chin on top of my knees and closed my eyes. Telling Dana did help some, but not a lot, because there was still plenty to bother me. I…didn’t think it was something I would get over.
Dana was such a good friend, just letting me sit there silently. I knew she was still in the room, though, because she would shift occasionally and I heard it. Even just not being alone was a big help, and at that moment, I wanted to tell Dana just how much I appreciated her as a friend. I kept it in, though. I could always tell her later.
I didn’t know how long I sat in that position, but when I heard a knock on the door, I let my eyes flutter open. I looked inquisitively at Dana, and she shrugged at me.
“I’m not expecting anyone, and I doubt it’s Logan. We both need to study, but I’ll be going to meet him later. Do you want me to go open the door for you?”
I sighed. “Nah, it’s fine. I’ve sat like this for a while; I probably need to stretch.”
That proved to be true because, in the next moment when I tried to stand up, I almost stumbled and fell. My hold on the bed kept me up. I stretched my limbs out, and I was probably taking too long, because the knocking came again, more rapid and impatient.
“I’m coming,” I called. “Who is it, anyway?”
I walked toward the door, reaching for the handle to let whoever it was inside.