When he reached for her again, she backed away. "In the beginning, I asked for one year, and you ignored my wishes, dismissed them so easily."
"I know I f**ked up." He scrubbed his palm over his face. "Gods know this is all my fault. But would it be so bad to be with me? You've seen what we can have together - "
"You vowed to me that you wouldn't hurt me, but you have! Permanently. I hope last night was worth it!"
His eyes widened. Permanently? "What did I do?"
"My archery, my ability, was based on the vows I took, you brute. Now I'm nothing!"
"What are you talking about?"
"I can't shoot!" she cried. "My talent is gone - forever. I kept my power only as long as I kept my legs closed. And now, because of you, I will never shoot again. It's gone."
His own anger flared as the truth hit him. "I knew this was about more than just your 'religion'!" Finally, he was putting the puzzle together. When some male - some soon-to-be dead male - had hurt her, she'd sought asylum with Skathi. In exchange for Lucia's vows, the goddess had given her the ability to shoot as no other.
Practice hadn't made Lucia this good. A deal with a devil...
He narrowed his eyes. "You dinna give a damn about your beliefs. This was about ego, about being The Archer, best in all the world."
"Didn't give a damn? I lived nearly my entire life in service until you came along. Now I'm shrugging off an apocalypse and giving in to my basest needs! I'd aspired before, was selfless. Now I've committed my most selfish act in a thousand years."
"You should've told me what was at stake!" He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this infuriated.
"When should I have? Maybe when you were going on about women sacrificing their careers for their men? I knew you'd react just as you are now, unable to comprehend why I would choose archery over sex with you."
"Why did you no' tell me? Why lie about this?"
"Oh, like the truth would have made any difference? Like last night wouldn't have happened if only I'd come clean? As soon as you stepped on that boat, this was as good as done, events set into motion. You caused this! I asked you for time, and you wouldn't give it to me."
He hadn't. She was absolutely right. But if she'd just told him why she couldn't have sex... Garreth exhaled. He still would've done the same thing, still would've trusted the cuff.
"You forced me into last night!"
"Wait just a goddamned minute. You grabbed me for a kiss."
"Because it was the best option in an impossible situation."
"Doona forget, Valkyrie, that you screamed my name all night. You canna tell me you dinna want me."
"I did - then! That doesn't mean I can't be sorry for my actions now. It doesn't mean I'm not filled with regret," she snapped, her tone laced with resentment.
Best night of my life, and she's taking it back. When he'd awakened, he'd been so relieved, believing she was finally his. What a bluidy fool you are....
For the last year, he'd thought about her every second, from the moment he woke to the second he drifted to sleep. Even then he wasn't free. Any night that he'd slept, he'd dreamed of her, dreamed of the life they could have - traveling the world, hunting together, eventually raising a braw pack of bairns. "Filled with regret, then?"
What he'd considered a culmination - and a revelation - she believed was a mistake.
Realization hit him. If she wasn't going to be won from their night together - the most incredible one of his entire existence - then she never would. He'd spend the next nine hundred years of his life chasing her.
"You don't know what I've lost, MacRieve. For the first time, I have no way to protect myself, no means to - "
"I will protect you."
Her fists clenched; lightning struck. "I knew you'd say that!" she screamed. "I knew you wouldn't understand why that would be like a dagger to the chest."
His own fury ignited. "You knew I'd say I'd protect you? And that vexes you? Should I have said that you're shite out of luck and all on your own, but thanks for the hot f**k!"
She narrowed her eyes, gazing at him with absolute disgust. She's never looked at me like this.
He raked his fingers through his hair. "By the gods, you're the most maddening female I've ever known! If you've lost your archery, then we'll figure something out. We'll comb the ends of the earth to get it back. But we'll do it together."
"We won't have time to figure it out. I've got no way to stop an apocalypse." She turned to go.
"No, Lousha, doona turn your back on me." He moved in front of her. "I will no' follow you!"
When she sidestepped him, he blocked her way. Between gritted teeth, she hissed, "Let me pass."
His crossed his arms over his chest. "Nay, Valkyrie, I think you'll be stayin' right - "
A slap cracked across his cheek.
"Bluidy hell, woman! Have it your way! You'd rather bemoan what you've lost than seize what we could have together? Then to hell with you! I've chased you over the world, protected you, offered everything I am to you. No longer. I've reached my end." He threw the bow and quiver at her feet. "For once, you're going to watch my back as I leave you behind."
Stalking away from her, he headed toward the levee. And she said nothing. He hadn't expected her to beg for him to return. But he'd hoped....
Five minutes passed, then ten, and still she didn't run after him. She truly was going to let this end. Just like that.
Crazed, cursing to himself, Garreth slashed his claws along tree trunks.
I'll leave her arse in the goddamned jungle! I'm done!
He would return to Kinevane, spend some real time with his brother and sister-in-law. Help Lachlain acquire a mortal child for Emma.
Garreth could go back to his clan, see his kinsmen for the first time in a year. He could play a bluidy game of rugby and shag nymphs without cease.
He reached the pile of rocks against one of the levee walls, began climbing. As he ascended, his mind was a riot of conflicting thoughts.
How easy it would be if his feelings could turn to hate - as hers obviously had. Hate would have to be less painful than this obsession with her. To not feel this gnawing lack each minute of the day....
Yet then he frowned. Lucia might be acting as if she despised him now. But before, she'd shown she cared for him again and again. He recalled her worry as he'd been preparing to swim to the Barão or when she'd been about to dive into the water after him. Even her own words: "...the more I like you, the less I want you to know my secrets."