Because this time, we’re both in a hurry. This time, neither of us can wait. This time is going to be frantic, and maybe even the time after, and the time after that, but eventually, I think we’ll manage to pace ourselves and have the slow exploration, the taking of time, and the less fiery, more sensual, and even intimate experience.
But not this time.
This time, I want Luke inside me, not going slow, pacing himself, or even lasting more than a minute. I don’t even freaking care. I just want him and the uh…well…rather large parts of him tucked into strategic places that will drive us both insane. I want to lose it, and I want to lose it with him.
“Do you have a condom?” I ask when I realize Luke is waiting for me to tell him what I want. Not because he needs the guidance, but because he doesn’t want to push or rush me.
“No.” Luke blankly stares at me. “Shit. If I did…they’d be…never mind. Well, old and beyond expired.”
“It’s okay. I’m on the pill. If that’s okay with you, I’m okay with us, uh, not using one.”
“Are you sure?’
“If you are. If you trust me.”
He blinks. “Do people lie about stuff like that? Is that what you mean?”
I nod slowly. “I…maybe. I don’t know. Yeah, they probably do.”
“Why?!”
“I don’t know. Lots of reasons, I guess.”
Luke runs a hand through his hair. He seems totally baffled by that, and it’s actually slightly adorable though I’m beyond relieved he’s never experienced it. He probably does know why, and he’s probably heard lots of stories. Maybe he’s even read about it too, but right now, his brain isn’t going there, and my brain is basically functioning on like two cells as well.
“If you’re sure. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want…I mean, I don’t want there to be any regrets…”
“We talked about that,” I whisper, holding out my arms to him. “I’m not going to regret this. I want you, and not just because it’s in the heat of the moment. I really can’t wait, I desperately need you.”
“Sorry.” He shakes his head. “I’m not…I mean, this isn’t going very smoothly.”
I laugh at that. “Smooth? Define smooth. You just gave me the best orgasm I’ve ever had in under, like, two minutes flat, so I’d say it’s pretty smooth. Don’t worry about everything else. We can work the kinks out later.” I wink, and Luke blushes even deeper. “So, yes, I’m sure. If you’d like to come here right now, that would be awesome, but if you’d rather—”
“No. No…yes.” Luke clears his throat. “I’m just going to shut up now.”
I sit up just as he kneels on the bed, and we crash together. He kisses me, and I can taste myself on him. I tangle one hand in his hair and rest the other on his shoulder. He eases me back gently and let me tell you that if your fantasies have never included missionary, then you’re not doing missionary right. There is nothing not sexy about Luke’s huge body covering my own, all power and strength and rippling muscle, but somehow so gentle. I kiss him like it’s a wrestling match, but a hot wrestling match where it’s perfectly choreographed, and no one has to come out the winner. I’m already all tingly and hot from just the kiss. Luke is a really, really amazing kisser, and tasting myself on him every time I dip my tongue into his mouth doesn’t exactly cool me down either.
Our tongues clash then glide together, and I can feel something massive and rigidly hard pressing into my stomach. It’s not the place I want it, and I definitely want him, worse than before. It’s crazy that the ache is back, so furiously and so soon.
“Please, Luke…” I rasp next to his ear. “I-I’d really like…”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes!” I arch my hips into him instinctively, and not just to prove a point.
“It’s…I’m kind of, uh, it’s not that small.”
“If you’re worried about fitting, we can worry about it when we actually try.”
Just thinking about it makes me curl up into him again. I’m so wet that the bed might be soaked under us. I want to take him in my hand, in my mouth, and lick and taste every single bit of him. I want to know exactly how he tastes. But most of all, I want to feel him inside me, and I want it more than just about anything ever I’ve wanted before, which is slightly mystifying and a little bit scary because I know my want for him isn’t just physical. No, I couldn’t even begin to contemplate getting to this point if it was just a physical want. There’s something else there, a hard, undeniable kernel nestling into my heart—a Luke-sized kernel.