“Yes. Sure. Absolutely.” Dear god. An hour? What if it revives and attacks us?
I give the girl our address, then take Shade’s hand and march him back ten feet or so. We sit down on the grass, and we’re completely silent as we wait. Finally, I can’t take it anymore. I start looking up facts about opossums just to keep us busy. Shade’s cheeks are stained with tear tracks from before, back when we thought the creature had died. I want to take him inside and clean him up, but that would mean leaving the opossum, and I don’t want it to wander off and get hit by a car on the road or have someone freak out and do something terrible to it in their panic. Even in my panic, I would never have done anything like getting a broom or…or something else. I would have tried to make sure it was okay.
“Did you know that opossums are actually immune to some snake venom or something like that?” I quickly paraphrase the super long science article without really even reading it. “They provide the anti-venom for a ton of different snake bites.”
“That’s cool,” Shade says.
“I always thought they got anti-venom from the actual snake. Wow. I guess we learned something today. That and they eat ticks. So they’re doing something right.”
“What’s a tick?”
“A gross bug. You don’t ever want to find out. Always wear socks in your shoes if you go camping, and tuck your pants in.”
“Why?”
“Never mind.”
“I wish we could keep it.”
“Absolutely not! It’s a wild animal.”
“I wish I could have a cat or a dog, but Dad says no.”
“Take that up with your dad. I’m not going to interfere.”
“That sucks.”
“It might, but it’s not happening. I already stuck my neck out for the tree.”
“Did Dad not want it?”
Shit. I’m not going to explain this one to Shade. He already gets way more than he should about all of this, so I’m not going to break his heart that much more. “He wanted it, but he didn’t like the color I chose.”
“But it’s green.”
“Yeah. He wanted pink.”
“Pink?” Shade giggles. “Dad wanted pink?”
“Or purple. I can’t remember.”
Thank god the gate opens then, and some dude in a dull green uniform with a pole or noose thing and a cage comes walking in like he owns the place. Thank. Freaking. God.
Shade and I point in the direction of the opossum together, mutely. I think we’re both holding our breath. If the opossum has revived, we haven’t seen it happen. Dang, those things really can fake it until they make it. Now those bumper stickers make so much more sense.
The guy works fast and gets the opossum into the cage. Then, he throws a heavy-looking blanket over it after and turns and gives us the thumbs up. “Thank you for calling him in. We’ll make sure this guy gets relocated somewhere safe.”
“He’s going to be okay?” Shade asks with so much uncertainty that it breaks my heart.
The guy smiles. “Yup. He’s going to be fine. Thanks to you.”
He shows himself out the back gate then. After we both stand there in stunned silence for a few moments, I swallow and smile. Did that seriously just happen?
“How about some lunch?”
“We already had lunch.”
“How about a second lunch? Or a snack. How about ice cream?”
“Yeah!” Shade goes yelling wildly back into the house.
Bribery 101. Kids love ice cream. It would probably work every single time. Whatever, I’m not his parent, so I don’t feel bad. And we totally deserve it. That opossum gave me the scare of my life. For a second, I really did think it was a cat, that the thing had rabies, and we were in mortal danger. For a second, I thought the world was going to end because the thing had died on me, and I wouldn’t have been able to take it. I don’t think Shade would have either, and I want, more than anything, to protect him from the pain. Already. It doesn’t matter that I haven’t known him very long. He’s a kid, and kids shouldn’t have to go through this kind of shit so early in life. Kids should be innocent and happy. Kids should get to think that life is good, and the world is good. They shouldn’t be proven wrong about that for as long as possible.
I guess we learned something new today.
Has anti-venom, plays dead, no rabies, eats ticks, hisses, and also a little bit about wildlife relocation. Surprises never cease. This one, at least, turned out okay. Unlike my parents springing on me a surprise engagement to a stranger, I can handle this surprise. I did handle it. I freaking did it. Feeney: one. The rest of the world that tries to corrupt and ruin my life in every way possible: zero.