“Being soul mates doesn’t keep us from fucking up. I’m sorry, baby.”
Wiley grunted angrily. It was clear that Baer had some serious ass-kissing to do in the immediate future.
“I convinced Baer to keep it just between us,” Clay explained. “I didn’t want Grey feeling like an outcast after losing his sight.”
“We were trying to read more of the journals—see if we could learn more.” Baer added. “I’m sorry, Grey. We should have said something.”
“Yeah, you should have.” Lucien agreed.
Grey was silent as he thought over what John had told him. It was better to be up-front with everyone. Secrets only made problems. “The pestilent I met called himself John, and he said we’d talked in the past. Maybe the past me did do something.”
“He was one cool man,” Calder added. “Never even got up from his chair. Just sort of lounged there in his fancy suit like he already owned the place.”
“What did he say?” Clay had obviously sat on the coffee table because he was right in front of Grey.
Grey leaned back into the couch for some space and cleared his throat. “That he wants to work with us, that his people and ours don’t have to keep dying. That someone, I guess one of their elders or leaders, is trying to come up with a way to save their world without killing ours.”
Clay’s clothes softly swished as he shifted on the table. “And you believed him?”
“Not really, no. He seemed too…smooth. But he knew me.” Grey scrubbed his hands over his face, his heart racing. “Shit. I don’t know what to think now. What if I did betray us in the past?”
“I just can’t believe that,” Wiley said with quiet confidence.
“This pestilent talked to me like it was true.”
“And maybe he was lying,” Baer snapped. “We all know that you can’t trust those assholes. That line in the journal could have meant anything.”
“It’s pretty damn clear,” Grey bit out.
“Even if it is true, that doesn’t mean you’d do it now.” Clay touched his knee again. “Listen to me. Whatever happened is in the past. There’s no way that would happen again. I know you.”
Grey shoved his hand away, set the book down in Cort’s lap, and shot to his feet. His legs bumped into Clay’s. He moved around the coffee table. “Yet, you were still wary. And I get it. We’re flying blind here most of the time, and any hint we get from those journals helps. There’s a reason the past you wrote those words, and it’s killing me wondering about it. Then John tells me we spoke in the past. It fits now.”
“What fits?” Clay had come around to stand in front of him. He smelled faint traces of sweat.
He stepped away again. They all needed to back off. “That somehow I betrayed you all in the past.”
“And I said it doesn’t mean you’ll do it again!” Clay yelled. “This here right now proves it. You’re telling us about the meeting with this pestilent. Being up-front. We’re going to work together this time.”
“And how much help am I really? My powers are all fucked up with the loss of my sight. This John obviously enthralls people, and I should be able to remove it, but I don’t know how!”
“Then you’ll figure it out.” Clay grabbed his shoulders. “You’re still an integral part of the Circle, and your powers are still there. It’s just learning how to tap into them while you’re like this, and I don’t believe it’s permanent anyway.”
“We have no way of knowing that. No way of knowing if the new spell will work.”
Clay tightened his fingers. “It’s not like you to give up, right? You haven’t so far. We’ll figure this out, Grey.”
He shrugged off Clay’s hands. “I can’t stand not knowing what happened before. I wish there was more in that journal, and I can’t understand why there isn’t. Why didn’t he put down details?”
“Because he died.”
Grey whipped around when he heard Jo’s voice. He hadn’t even heard her appear, and nobody had given her away with gasps or anything. It was unnerving. He tilted his head, trying to decipher if all three goddesses had shown up and he couldn’t, though he did suddenly smell flowers, so Willie was probably there, too.
“Do you know what happened?” Grey asked. “In the past, I mean?”
“He can’t see you nodding, Josephina,” Flo muttered.
“Sorry. Of course. But yes, we know what happened. We don’t like sharing the past. It’s important that you all forge your own way, but we don’t want you tearing yourself up over this. Grey, you didn’t betray the Weavers. At least, we know it had never been your intention.” Jo came to Grey and touched his arm. “The last battle was quite ugly. The ugliest we had witnessed in a long time.”
“The Circle was outnumbered and still suffering from injuries from previous battles,” Flo added. “You knew that your brothers wouldn’t survive another direct attack, so you met with John with the intention of double-crossing him, planned to have all the Weavers show up to a meeting that was supposed to be only him. But he double-crossed you instead and showed up with an army. Everyone but the Earth Weaver was killed in the battle. So, see, you never betrayed the group. But the Earth Weaver had no way of knowing that.”