With my white Bride shirt that’s two-sizes too small, and my black cargo shorts to match my girl, I return her smile right as Jason throws a match on the huge pile of wood he stacked on top of the already scorched grass, along with all the lighter fluid from Tess’s travel bottle. The pile bursts into flames, and I laugh when Tess lets out a happy shriek, her eyes getting wide and excited, as I grab both of her hands and try to get her to turn to face me.
“Okay, time to look at me now.”
“Fiiire… pretty fire,” Tess mutters, still staring at the bonfire instead of me.
I give her hands a squeeze and a little shake.
“Come on, time to start the festivities.”
“So pretty,” she whispers, still not looking at me.
“Jesus, I knew we should have waited for the fire until the end. Now you’re not gonna pay attention.” Taking my life into my own hands, I let go of one of Tess’s hands to snap my fingers a few times in front of her face. “Yo! Eyes over here!” I order.
Tess’s face immediately whips back to me, and I’m kind of surprised her head doesn’t just whip all the way around in a complete circle on her neck as she narrows her eyes and growls at me a little, making my dick hard.
“Tell me what to do again when we’re not naked, and I will slit your throat.”
“There’s my girl.” I smile, grabbing her hand I dropped and nodding over to Millie standing off to the side.
“You want the short and sweet version, correct?” Millie asks as she steps up next to us, wearing a floor-length sparkly dress that looks like it came straight from Vanna White’s closet, with her brown mink coat draped over her shoulders, clasping her hands together down in front of her as she looks back and forth between us.
“As short as humanly possible,” Tess says, and I nod right along with her as the heat from the roaring fire next to us keeps us warm out in the cold.
“You didn’t write your own vows? Oh my God, you didn’t even look at those binders did you?”
“No sparkly flowers, no sparkly tiara, no sparkly veil and train…. It’s like I’m watching an Amish wedding.”
“My arthritis is killing me. You people are taking too long. I’m gonna go sit over there, so just tell me when I need to clap.”
It’s Tess’s turn to drop one of my hands this time as she quickly leans over and repeatedly smacks the volume button on the keyboard of the laptop until all of our “guests” are on mute.
“Ahhh, much better.” She smiles up at me before glancing at Millie as she re-grabs my hand. “Okay, continue.”
“If I could speak for one moment…” I cut off Millie when she opens her mouth to start the ceremony. “I have a little something prepared.”
“You son of a bitch,” Tess whispers, while I see Birdie jumping up and down in excitement on the screen of the laptop.
Giving Tess’s hands a squeeze, I take a step forward until we’re toe-to-toe in the snow, leaning down and resting my forehead against her beanie-covered one.
“I know you’re still freaking out and scared about the baby, even though you’re acting like you’re totally calm, because you hate feeling weak,” I begin softly. Tess scoffs and rolls her eyes at me through her long, gorgeous lashes with our foreheads pressed together, but stays otherwise quiet and lets me continue. “I know you only got on board with this whole marriage thing because you know it’s what I want, and you just want to make me happy, and God I love you so fucking much for that. Do you have any idea?”
I hear Tess sniffle, and I let go of one of her hands to reach up between us and cup her cheek, pulling my head back to swipe away at her tears with my thumb.
“I promise you, I will make it worth it, my little firestarter. I’ll make it less scary, and I’ll make it more fun, and I will be there every step of the way, never forgetting for one minute who you are, or who Tiny Tim is, or just how much you both mean to me, or how much I love you. I promise I will always come back, Tess.”
Now it’s Tess’s turn to reach up and press her palm against the side of my face so she can swipe away my own tears.
“I can’t believe you’re making me cry at my own wedding, you dickhole.” Tess shakes her head at me, brushing the last of my tears away with the tips of her fingers before pressing her hand against the one I’m still cupping her cheek with. “You’re worth throwing all my plans away for. I never wanted a husband, because I never found a man strong enough to handle having me as a wife. I am going to be a goddamn nightmare, oh my God. You have no idea.” Tess laughs, making me laugh just as hard right along with her.