I know what he’s saying, and the point of his words pierces my heart.
He will never allow himself to love another, including me. It hurts to hear him say it, and I wish things were different, but it’s for the best. At least, it isn’t that he isn’t capable of loving me. He just chooses not to, and now I understand why.
“I understand,” I whisper, letting him know I get what he is saying. He stares at me for a long second, his gaze holding me in place.
I can see the turmoil-filled battle beneath the surface.
He doesn’t want to want me like this, but he can’t help it.
He’s afraid of getting hurt, but he doesn’t know that losing him now would gut me, leaving me to bleed out on the cold ground.
This might have started as someone else’s revenge, but it’s ending as something entirely different for us. Something neither one of us can stop from happening, no matter how much we wish we could.34MarkusTwo fucking weeks and still not a damn word from Timothy. Every day I grow angrier, and Fallon more worried. I don’t tell her what I’m thinking, but the truth is her sister is most likely dead… or she wishes she was.
Leaning back in my chair, I click through Amelie Brice’s social media again, looking for some clues I might have missed the first twenty times I checked. Fuck, I’m not good at this shit. I don’t do research and find people like Felix. I just kill them. We would be the perfect team… if it wasn’t for that one thing keeping us separated… there are things Felix won’t do, lines he won’t cross. I think back to the last time he worked with Julian.
“Felix, find out where she is hiding, hack into whatever database you need to find her. As soon as we get an address, bring Sophia in for questioning, Markus. Her husband hasn’t spilled the beans yet on where he hid our last shipment of guns. Perhaps a little encouragement will help…” Julian grinned like the devil. All that was missing was his pitchfork and devil horns, and he would have the image down pat.
“I’m not doing it. I’m not helping you bring in an innocent woman,” Felix piped up.
All I could do was shake my head. It seemed like he was fighting with Julian on everything, every step of the way. He was going to get us both killed. It was only a matter of time.
Julian snarled, “You’ll do whatever the fuck I tell you to do. I’m the boss. Not you.”
Anger was seeping from his pores. Julian was unhinged often, one second away from losing control. If I didn’t get Felix out of here soon, he’d end up buried in the ground.
“I’m not doing it, boss… you can kill me if you want, but I’m not hurting an innocent woman.” Felix shook his head with a determined scowl on his face.
Julian turned toward me. His dark eyes were vicious and promised pain. “Get your brother out of here and talk some sense into him before I kill him.”
“Of course, boss.” I did as I was told, knowing that Julian really would kill him. Grabbing Felix by the back of the neck, I dragged him out of the office. Felix was just as big and strong as me, but he didn’t even struggle. It was like he didn’t care what happened.
“Do you have a death wish? He could’ve killed both of us,” I scolded as soon as we were outside. Felix stared at me for a long moment; his dark eyes seemed to look right through me.
“I’m not doing it, Markus. I’m not killing a woman. I’m not hurting one either. I have boundaries and shit I won’t do. Unlike the rest of you, I have a moral compass. I’m not doing it.”
I gritted my teeth. “You are, or we will both die.”
Felix never even tried to find her. That was the night we were forced to go our separate ways. He knew making that choice meant he could no longer stay in the city.
I was sure Julian would kill me that night when I returned to the mansion without the woman, but he directed all his anger to Felix instead.
I pull from the memory of that night. The day my brother chose to be a better man than me. My finger stops, hovering over the mouse as I direct my attention to the image on the screen. Amelie is only a few years older than Fallon, but they couldn’t be any more different. They don’t look alike. Amelie is tan with dark hair and hazel eyes, and from what I’m seeing on her profile, they don’t act alike either.
But in this picture, the one posted most recently, Fallon and Amelie have one thing in common. A sense of deep, radiating sadness in their eyes.