Of course I didn’t.
Bad things had happened to me once.
There was only more to come.It was pure luck that saved my children.
Luck and the fact I’d forgotten that Lily was supposed to bring food for her shared lunch to school. It was grocery day, and I had nothing but some mac and cheese and stale Doritos to offer. She’d dutifully reminded me of this by jumping on my bed at six in the morning. I was meant to have both kids at school by eight thirty and they still needed to get dressed, get showered and eat breakfast.
And I had to go to the grocery store twenty minutes away that opened at six thirty. Which meant my children would be alone for almost an hour. Despite Jack trying to convince me he was old enough to stay at home and look after his sister, that was something that wasn’t going to happen.
It hit me again then. In the chest. Ranger’s absence. Not just a longing for him. But the practical part of having another parent. A partner. Something like this wouldn’t have been a big deal. Ranger would’ve kissed both me and Lily, rolled out of bed and gone to get what we need. I’d be here, taking care of the kids.
He’d be back in time. Everything would be fine.
But that’s not how it was.
I couldn’t leave them. Even though Jack techinically was old enough. Something in the bottom of my stomach warned me against leaving my kids alone. Without someone to watch them. Protect them. But I just had to figure out who that would be. I couldn’t call on one of my friends yet again. Olive was working the night shift, most likely on her way home from the hospital. She’d be dead on her feet by now. She’d come if I called. Without hesitation. But I couldn’t do that.
My mother was out of the question because she was my mother and also because she’d lecture me about forgetting something like this and judge my parenting skills. I couldn’t handle that without coffee and only a handful of hours of sleep. Kace had left just before the sun came up.
We’d been taking bigger risks. He was staying longer. Any night could be the one Lily had a nightmare and tried to get in the locked bedroom door. Kace would have to jump naked out the window. I’d have to explain to my daughter why the door was locked.
Fuck.
There was one option that was two minutes away.
While I was getting the kids ready, I texted him.Are you awake?He took less than a minute to reply.What do you need, babe?Fuck.
I quickly texted the information, and he was on my doorstep five minutes later. He looked awake and alert. Not at all like he’d just rolled out of bed.
Which was exactly what I looked like.
I’d pulled on an old shirt of Ranger’s, some jeans and worn sneakers. My hair was thrown into a messy bun. Not the chic, messy bun that Amy and Gwen perfected. No, the I haven’t brushed and can’t remember when I last washed my hair kind of bun.
So not cute.
Kace didn’t seem overly disgusted, in fact, his eyes flared with an ember of heat.
“You got here quick,” I observed.
He grinned. “Quick at some things, sweetheart. Take my time with others.”
I swallowed roughly, my thighs pulsing with remembering.
“You weren’t asleep?” I asked, trying to make my voice sound even.
He shook his head. “Was too buzzed. Worked out. Caught a few hours of the Asian stock market.”
Who was this guy?
I decided to ignore that. “Okay, I wouldn’t do this if it was any kind of emergency that didn’t involve a PTA full of bitchy women judging me for forgetting something again,” I said, snatching my keys and putting them in my purse.
“Babe, it’s good. I like your kids,” he reassured me.
My mind flashed back to the day after the migraine—the day that I had not mentioned to Kace since it happened because I didn’t want to inspect what it had meant—and how both kids had raved about the time they’d spent with Kace. Jack had done so begrudgingly, as if it were something he was going to be punished for, but he did it, nonetheless. So it was safe to say the kids felt comfortable him, that they were happy to spend time with him. It only made me more reluctant to do this.
On cue, Lily entered the room. “Kace!” she yelled with glee. “You’ve come to hang out and have breakfast.”
I’d already quickly briefed them on the situation, about Kace having breakfast with them while I went to get food. Lily had been over the moon. Jack had groaned about not needing a babysitter.
He was likely sulking in his room right now.
“Yep, breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” Kace declared with a wink.