But I just felt... done.
Life was soft now. The loss of my baby and my husband after haunted me. Was I tempting fate by bringing yet another soft, pure, unmarked piece of happiness into the world?
It was surely a selfish way to think. But I couldn’t help it.
And it had to come to a head eventually. Kace knew me too well, was far too in tune with me for me to be able to hide my thoughts on this.
I feared telling him. That he’d think less of me. That it would put a wedge in our beautiful marriage. But I had to. So I did, with a shaking voice and a fearful soul.
“Baby, I have you,” Kace affirmed the moment I spoke, pulling me to him.
“Got two children that need a second father, one here on earth to do their first one proud. It’s a responsibility. A big one. A beautiful one. In addition to being your husband, being their father fills me up. There is not one part of me that feels like my life is lacking without a kid. If you truly want one with your heart and soul, I’d be down. Only because I want to go on any adventure with you. But you don’t truly want one. And you’re torturing yourself thinking that is taking something away from me, when in reality, baby, you’ve already given me everything.”
So there it was.
Our soft ending.
For now, at least.
Sure there would be bumps in the road. There would be things that cut us further. Wounded us still. But for the most part, we were content. Happy. We had made peace with all the scars of all of our yesterdays. We had the beauty of today.