Moving through the crowded ballroom toward Daniel, Alexandra knew that even though she found it painful to think about Wolf, she was happy for him—as well as the cast and crew—that the picture had finally come together. It wasn’t even his financial investment she cared about. Rather, she knew how much he loved Africa and the story and the people there. She was proud that he’d made something so problematic work. He’d really fought for the film, and it’d paid off.
Daniel shifted in the crowd, and as he moved to one side, she felt an icy shaft of pain and heartbreak.
Wolf. He was here.
Pulse leaping, she drank him in—tall, darkly handsome, dressed in a black tuxedo with a black dress shirt and no bow tie, of course. His hair was longer—considerably longer, nearly down to his shoulders—and the style made him look even more fierce and primitive and male. Then he reached out and drew the woman next to him closer to his side.
Joy.
Her heart squeezed into a tattered ball and then fell, a dramatic free fall all the way to the tips of her navy satin pumps.
He was here. With Joy.
She couldn’t move, couldn’t take another step, and for the first time since arriving at the hotel she felt grateful for the crowd surging around her. She needed them, all these people, to buffer her, keep her from falling, fainting, weeping.
Instead she stood there, rooted to her spot, and felt pain roll. Pain and loss and rejection. The emotions were so intense she knew they had to show on her face. She wasn’t an actress, couldn’t hide her feelings, not feelings this strong, and she prayed no one saw how once again her heart was breaking.
Seeing Wolf and Joy together tonight was nothing short of excruciating. She’d never heard back from Wolf after she’d filed the divorce papers, but the media had somehow managed to get a copy of the paperwork and People magazine had run a color copy of the front page of the form. There in an enormous picture was her request to end her marriage. The headline to the accompanying article was every bit as salacious as she’d feared. And still no word from Wolf.
But now here he was, a dozen yards away, with Joy. And even if she believed that Joy and Wolf had never been lovers, the fact that Wolf still saw Joy and spent time with her cut, and cut deeply.
Alexandra envied Joy and Wolf’s bond. It was obvious they had a special connection, and standing there, watching them, Alexandra had never felt like such an outsider as she did just then.
Someone bumped her from behind and she finally forced herself to move, slipping as quickly through the crowd as she could.
With a frozen smile fixed to her face she prayed no one could see how much she was hurting. Cameras were everywhere. The last thing she wanted was photos in tomorrow’s paper showing her leaving the fund-raiser in tears.
And yet, as she slid into the backseat of the limo, her frozen smile shattered and tears filled her eyes.
She’d loved him. Trusted him. And it’d broken her heart.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
IT WAS A LONG, ENDLESS, sleepless night. She cried off and on, getting up once to wash her face, and by the time her alarm finally went off, Alexandra felt as though she’d gone thirteen rounds in a heavyweight fight.
After dressing and downing a cup of strong black coffee, she dragged herself to work feeling half-alive.
Even though she felt like hell, the front office was buzzing with excitement. Apparently Wolf had been in there early for a brief meeting with one of the studio’s heads. Kristie had seen Wolf on her way in—he’d just been leaving—and she was telling the other girls that he’d looked even more gorgeous than usual.
“His hair’s long now,” she whispered dramatically. “And it makes him look wicked and unbelievably sexy.”
Alexandra carried her mug of herbal tea past the giggling office staff to her desk in the back. Her promotion had meant a private office, and it wasn’t big but it was at least quiet with the door shut.
Taking a seat at her desk, she turned on her computer, checked e-mail, answered the ones requiring an immediate response and then got busy reading the script needing her attention first.
She didn’t know how long she’d been reading when she felt the oddest shivery sensation, like that of a feather being trailed across her skin. Reaching up, she rubbed at her nape, where the skin felt most sensitive. All the hairs on her arms were standing up, as well.
It was then she realized she wasn’t alone. Wolf was standing just inside her door.
For a long moment she simply stared at him. He looked like a pirate with his long black hair and his dark, shadowed jaw.
“Your hair’s so long,” she said almost absently.
“It’s for my next role. Blackbeard.”
“He was vile.”
Creases fanned at his eyes. “Brilliant.”
“Cruel.”
“Practical.”
“Insensitive.”
“Legendary.”
Alexandra fell silent. She wasn’t going to win. Wolf was Wolf. He’d always be smarter, faster, stronger, richer, more beautiful.
His jaw jutted at an angle and his dark lashes dropped, concealing his eyes. “You left quickly last night, before we could speak.”
Her heart ached fiercely. “There was no reason for us to speak.”
He didn’t move, and yet she felt his physical presence grow, his anger and leashed tension fi
lling the room. “There’s our marriage.”
“Divorce,” she corrected.
“I’ve contested the divorce.”
Alexandra grabbed at the edge of her desk, reeling. “You what?”
“I’m Irish and Spanish. I don’t believe in divorce.”
“But this is California.”
“And you married me. And maybe I’m vile and cruel and insensitive, but I view marriage as a holy union—”
“Really? Then where the hell have you been?” She slapped her hands on her desktop, hitting the surface so hard her tea sloshed a little in the white ceramic mug. “I certainly wouldn’t say you’ve been doing anything to try to save the marriage.”
“You gave me an ultimatum,” he said unapologetically.
“So you leave and never contact me again?”
He shrugged. “I was giving you time.”
“To hate you!”
His dark eyes flashed. Lines etched at his mouth. “Hate’s a sister emotion to love.”
She shook her head. She couldn’t do this, not now, not here, not like this. She hadn’t gotten any sleep last night. Her head ached from crying.
For the past months she’d done everything she could to stabilize herself, to make her new world okay. And to do that, she’d had to minimize Wolf, reduce his influence and the impact he had on her.
When his name was mentioned on television or she came across one of his movies on cable, she turned the channel. When the papers printed an interview, she skipped it. When people at parties mentioned him, she moved to another group gathered. It wasn’t that she was bitter, it was just that everything to do with him—them—still hurt. Even after the end of their relationship, even after filing for divorce, her heart still felt broken.
Leaving the party last night she’d felt destroyed. She’d felt empty. Different. Changed. And she didn’t like these feelings at all, didn’t like the helplessness they entailed. “This isn’t the time, Wolf,” she said woodenly. “I’m working—”
“And work is more important than us? Than our marriage, our family?”
She drew a rough breath. “We were never a family.”