Just seeing his powerful frame in the doorway made her tremble. She wasn’t afraid of him, but of how she felt when near him. They’d had such a physical relationship. They’d connected through skin and sex and funny how she could forget words and names and places she was supposed to go, but she could still remember him. She could still remember how they’d been once. She no longer loved him, and her memories since the accident were patchy at best, but her body had never had a problem recognizing him.
And, as he crossed the room towards her, she felt the old thrill ripple through her. It was impossible to look at him without feeling a throb of awe, and desire. He moved like a great athlete, with leashed strength, and power, and grace. She responded to him the way she responded to music and dance…instinctively.
“I’d rather hoped you wouldn’t return,” she said.
“Not surprised. I was a bit of an ass earlier. I’m sorry.”
She shot him a swift glance, surprised. He was smiling faintly, firm lips quirked, eyes crinkling at the corners.
She didn’t know this Malcolm. At least, she didn’t remember this Malcolm. “I know I have memory issues, but I don’t remember you apologizing very often.”
The corner of his mouth lifted higher. “In this case, your memory serves you well.”
Ava felt a pang, her chest tightening with emotion. “How do you do that?” she whispered. “How do you still make me feel so much?”
“That’s just how we’ve always been.”
“But even after a year?”
“We’re supposed to be together, Ava. But I have a feeling you don’t write that down in your notebook. I have a feeling you write anything but that down.”
He knew her so well that it scared her. She looked away, out the window. It was dark out. It looked cold.
“You have me at a disadvantage,” she said after a moment, glancing back at him. “You can remember things without needing to write them down. Both good and bad. You can go through your memories and analyze them. I have nothing to analyze.”
“And yet you try. You record facts and details and pour over them.”
“Yes.” Her gaze met his, and she felt a jolt of awareness, and appreciation. He was so impossibly good-looking. By far, the most handsome man she’d ever met. And he’d once been hers.
“Maybe that’s the mistake,” he said. “Maybe you need to think less, and feel more.”
“Then I’d feel absolute panic because I’d realize what a disaster I am—” She broke off and swallowed hard. Her eyes burned and her chest felt impossibly tender. “I don’t think you understand, Colm, how hard every little thing is for me. Nothing comes easy. Everything requires so much effort.”
“Because you try to do everything on your own. Let us help you, Ava. Let us make it easier. We can.”
“I wish I could believe you.”
“What if I could prove it to you?”
Her gaze locked with his. “How would you do that?”
“Come away with me for the weekend. It’s going to snow tonight—hard—the city will be shut down tomorrow, and probably the day after. So let’s make it a long weekend. Let’s escape the cold and play and have fun.”
Play. Have fun. Now those were foreign concepts. “I don’t think I know how to do that.”
“I know. But I can show you.” And then he smiled at her, and there was heat in his eyes and she couldn’t help but respond, a shiver of pleasure racing through her.
“You are far too attractive, you know,” she said huskily.
His smile deepened. His blue-green eyes glinted. “We used to have fun together, Ava. Let’s have fun again.”
“What would we do?”
“Soak up the sun. Eat good food. Listen to music. Cruise around the island.”
Her eyebrows lifted. “The island?”
“I bought a little place in the Caribbean. It’s gorgeous there right now. Not too hot. Not at all humid. It’s pretty perfect.”
She thought of her small apartment and how tonight’s big snow storm would trap her inside as she was unable to navigate the snow and ice on her own. “It does sound nice.”
“So come with me. Have fun with me.”
It was tempting, so tempting. Her gaze searched his. “I can’t just leave here…drop everything…”
“The city is going to shut down. The school will close. The professional dancers might stagger in for a class, but they don’t need you. So think about what you need…the sun, the sea, some R&R.” He smiled at her, teasing, coaxing. “Doesn’t that sound appealing?”
“Very.”
“So give yourself permission to unplug for a few days. You’ve earned the break. I’m sure you haven’t taken any vacation time in the past year.”
“I haven’t.”
“So take a little vacation now. Let the sun warm you up and get that ache out of your bones.”
She chewed on the inside of her lip, tempted, so very tempted, because she did hurt. All the time. And she was exhausted from trying so hard to stay on top of things, and organized. She couldn’t even remember what a holiday felt like.
Her gaze met his, and held. “Why are you doing this? Why go to all this trouble for me?”
For a moment he just stared at her and then his hard features gentled. “That’s easy,” he said gruffly. “I want to spend time with you. I’ve missed you.”
Chapter Four
‡
He missed her.
Malcolm McKenzie, the Scottish-American tycoon who’d made his fortune off real estate, internet startups, and shrewd investments, missed her.
“You could have any woman,” she said, struggling to smile, wanting to be playful, but her heart hurt.
She wasn’t right for him, not anymore. He and Jack both deserved better. More.
“Yes, I could, and I want you.” He lifted a hand. “And don’t ask why. I’m not going to do that now, standing here, when you’re clearly dead on your feet. We will have all the time in the world once we get to the house on St. Barts. So, let’s get your things and go to the car before the storm starts and keeps us from flying out tonight.”
He helped her gather her black cashmere shawl and her notebook and pen. Together, they walked to her small office where she retrieved her winter coat, hat, and gloves. They rode, silent, down to the lobby in the elevator. Ava glanced at Colm’s profile as he opened the building’s front door and they were greeted by an icy blast of air.
Colm looked big and fierce and forbidding.
What was she doing, agreeing to go away with him?
Why was she agreeing to his?
As they left the building, she shivered, and wobbled, and wished yet again she’d brought her cane today.
Colm wrapped an arm around her waist, steadying her. “You’re doing great,” he said.
She was wearing the thickest of coats but the pressure of his arm, the touch at her waist made her gulp for air. “I’m okay,” she protested. “I’m not going to fall.”
“Not taking any chances.”
She shot him a swift glance. “I manage just fine when you’re not around.”
He arched a brow, but didn’t contradict her.
She spotted the town car at the curb. Mickey was standing by the black s
edan, waiting for her. “My car’s here,” she said. “Do you have one, too?”
“No. I figured we could use your car.”
Frowning, she glanced up at him. “Mickey might have plans.”
Colm shrugged. “He might, and then he might not. Let’s ask him.”
Malcolm did just that, asking if Mickey could drive them to Teterboro, the executive airport that served metropolitan New York. The airport was just across the Hudson in New Jersey. Mickey knew where it was.
“Not a problem. I can take you and Ms. Galvan wherever you want to go,” the driver answered.
“Good. My plane’s ready. We just need to get there.”
In the back of the car, Ava glanced at Colm. “You were so very sure of me, weren’t you?
“I wasn’t sure of you. Just hopeful.” His mouth curved. “And then there’s the fact that I have confidence in my negotiation skills. I’ve been told I can be persuasive.”
“Sounds like something I might have said,” she muttered grumpily.
“Indeed.”
Mickey shifted into drive, putting the car in motion, and seconds later they’d merged into the evening traffic. A horn blared behind them but, but neither Ava nor Malcolm paid the honking cars and taxis any attention.
After a moment, Colm asked her about the new ballet premiering in February, just before Valentine’s Day. Ava shared that it was a love story set during WWII, and since it was part of the Holocaust, it was tragic, but the ending was powerful and redemptive. She loved the choreography and music and was looking forward to it staged.
Colm kept asking questions and she talked, relaxing as she focused on the thing she knew best—dance.
But that ease vanished thirty minutes later when they pulled up to the executive terminal.
Ava stiffened as she spotted the airport’s tower and then saw the sleek, white jets dotting on the tarmac.
What on earth was she doing? How could she have agreed to Colm’s plan? Fear swamped her, clouding her thoughts, making her head spin.