Willow nodded as a wide selection of little bites was brought in to serve as a first course and Ranjit carefully indicated the spicy items lest they not be to her taste, while Jai talked about the local sights he intended to show her. She tried a sample of flavours while wondering if Jai intended merely to act as though that argument had not taken place, but, once the staff had melted away with delivery of their main course, Jai fell suddenly silent and she glanced up from her plate anxiously to find those wolfish ice-blue eyes locked hard to her.
‘There is something I must say,’ he began, uncharacteristically hesitant in tone. ‘There are times when we will perceive events in a dissimilar light because of the different cultures in which we grew up...’
‘Obviously,’ Willow breathed tightly.
‘The morning after we spent that first night together is one of those events. For me, it was inexcusably wrong to take a woman’s virginity when I was not in a serious relationship with her. I could not treat that as though it was something of no consequence, but I was equally guilty of having made the assumption that you would not be so innocent, living in your more liberal society,’ he completed levelly.
‘Jai, I—’ Willow began awkwardly, not having foreseen quite how much of an issue that had genuinely been for him.
‘Let me finish,’ he urged, topping up her wine glass with a lithe and elegant hand. ‘I felt very guilty that day. I was deeply ashamed of my behaviour. I took advantage of you when you were grieving and alone and in need of support.’
‘It didn’t feel that way to me,’ Willow protested, breaking in.
‘We are talking about how it felt to be me that morning,’ Jai reminded her drily. ‘I felt like a total bastard, who had seduced an innocent young woman, and clearly how I felt fed into making you feel rejected and insulted...but that result was not intentional. I remained sincerely concerned for your well-being, which is why I attempted to see you again a couple of months later, by which time you must’ve known you were pregnant.’
At the reminder, Willow flushed a discomfited brick red. ‘And Shelley lied for me and said she didn’t know where I was because she knew I didn’t want to see you again,’ she filled in for him uneasily. ‘I’m sorry but that was just how I felt back then. I was a bit naive. I was feeling well and I thought I would manage fine without you. Before I forget, can I ask you something off-topic?’
His winged ebony brows drew together in a frown at that query. ‘You can ask me anything although I cannot always guarantee an answer.’
‘Why did I have to get all dressed up in a long fancy gown when you’re wearing jeans and no shoes?’
And the tension still thick round the table just evaporated then and there as Jai flung his handsome dark head back and laughed with disconcerting appreciation of that simple question. Raking a long-fingered brown hand through his silky black hair, he surveyed her with amusement still glittering like stardust in his bright black-lashed eyes. ‘I can only assume that it was my mother’s practice or my grandmother’s practice to get “all dressed up” for dinner because that is how long it has been since this palace had a mistress. Your maid will have been given advice on what you would want to wear for such an occasion and, since you are English, it may well date back to the years of the British Raj,’ he warned her with a wide smile. ‘And be generations out of date. You don’t need to dress up for dinner for my benefit. You can wear whatever you like, soniyaa.’
That smile of his and the endearment on top of the explanation he had carefully outlined melted that hard little knot that had formed in Willow’s chest earlier that day. Jai was trying and she recognised that, respected him for it, liked him for it. But at the other end of the scale she was wondering what other misunderstandings would crop up when there were such basic differences between their outlooks on life. Even so, stifling that anxious thought, she smiled back at him, shaken to discover how fast she wanted him again, as if that afternoon of passion had only been a dream.
‘This evening I will show you around what remains of your new home and tomorrow we will go out and explore,’ Jai promised her lazily.
And the week that followed was full of enjoyment, occasional challenges and surprises and the beginning of a fascination with her surroundings that rooted deep. There was the ancient old gardener who brought her flowers every day, and the cook who had a burning desire to know what her favourite foods were, and the sharing of playtimes with Hari and his father, so that a lifestyle that at first had seemed strange became her new normal. Hari was always surrounded by loving carers and it was not unusual to hear his chuckles as he was rocked in a solid-silver nursery swing that had rocked his ancestors for generations and which really should have been in a museum.
Willow visited the Hindu temple and the white marble park of elaborate ancestral tombs that overlooked the holy lake. She accepted garlands and blessings and small gifts for Hari as well as her share of the awe that Jai’s mere presence inspired amongst the locals. She posed for photos for the local journalists, who were much more respectful than those they had encountered at the airport.
She learned that English was widely spoken and became less intimidated by strangers, her confidence growing at the warm welcome she received everywhere. She explored the massive old fortress on the cliffs above the city, bowled over by its magnificent décor and huge rooms, with Jai by her side sharing funny stories about his heritage, which no guide could ever have equalled. And she saw a tiger in the wild for the first time, ironically not on the mini safari in an open-topped SUV that Jai had taken her on, but from the shaded dining terrace she watched the animal slink in his glorious orange and black striped coat out of the jungle to pad down at his leisure to drink at the edge of the lake.
By day they explored the sights but by night, mostly, they explored each other, she reflected with a wanton and slightly self-conscious little wriggle of recollection. She couldn’t keep her hands off Jai, and it seemed to be a case of a mutual chemical reaction. Jai electrified her every time he touched her, but when he had pressed her down in one of those reading nooks in the library that day, and possessed her with uninhibited passion in one of their most exciting encounters to date, she had realised afterwards, by his faint but perceptible discomfiture, that Jai wasn’t in control either.
Jai was pondering that problem for himself in his office. He had been spending too much time with his wife and not enough time working, he censured himself, well aware that he was sidestepping the real issue nagging at him. He had married her for his son’s sake, he reminded himself impatiently. He had planned on a perfectly civilised but essentially detached and sophisticated partnership in marriage, in which both of them nourished their own interests and friendships. He had never planned on hot, sweaty, wildly exciting naked encounters in every secluded corner of his home. He had never planned to keep her awake half the night in the marital bed to the extent that she regularly fell asleep in the afternoon heat, exhausted by his demands. Nobody needed to warn Jai that he was already in the grip of the overpowering lust that he had been warned against many times.
And that acknowledgement disturbed Jai on every level. He didn’t do love; he flatly refused to do love. He was a great believer in moderation in all things. He had, after all, grown up with the tragic evidence of what love could do to a man, not to mention his own disillusionment at the hands of his former fiancée, Cecilia. Love, however, had totally broken his father, a strong man, a good man, an intelligent man, yet none of those strengths had saved him from the consequences of losing the wife he had adored. His father’s depressions, loneliness, bitterness, his inability to replace that lost wife with even a female friend, had taught Jai how dangerously harmful those softer emotions could be for a man when it came to a woman.
He didn’t want the stress of that complication with Willow: he was determined not to need her, to look for her when she wasn’t there or to allow her to sink so deeply into the fabric o
f his everyday life that she became more important than she should be. Liking, kindness and respect were absolutely all that were required from him as a husband and anything beyond that would be madness...a madness that he wouldn’t touch.