She doesn’t explode though.
No, she sucks in a deep breath, turns and walks into the hallway.
I think I’d prefer if she went nuclear instead. “Where are you going?”
“None of your business.”
I hustle to catch up to her, placing my palm on the front door before she opens it. “That’s not how this works.”
“This isn’t working at all.”
She shoots a death glare at my hand, and I swear my skin actually tingles from the power of the fire in her eyes.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that if you don’t take me with you, find someone else to marry you.”
“Heidi, you know damn well there are some things—”
“Don’t you dare try and claim club business.” She cocks her head. “Does the club know you’re still involved with this?”
Even though she’s wrong about me fighting, she has a point. Heidi is more than understanding when it comes to club business. Moving downstate to help Z run Sway’s charter? It put a lot of stress on both of us, and Heidi never complained once. Spent every weekend she could by my side helping in any way she could. I even ended up in jail for a couple days, and she was waiting with open arms as soon as the charges were dropped.
She understands so many little things about club life, and I shouldn’t take that for granted. Doesn’t mean I want to ever put her in danger.
I work my jaw from side-to-side, considering my answer. “I can do whatever I want.”
Wrong answer.
“The club might give you all the freedom you want.” She pokes her finger into my chest. “I won’t. You go there again without me; I won’t be here when you get back.”
“Heidi, that’s ridiculous.”
“No, what’s ridiculous is you lying to me and putting yourself in danger.”
“I’m not in danger. It’s a bunch of kids who run this thing for fuck’s sake.”
“Then take me with you.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to know why it’s so important to you.”
“It’s not.”
“Then don’t go.”
“I’ve already given my word.”
“So your promises to me mean nothing?” She shakes her head. “You’ve gotta be kidding me. I’m going to be your wife. They’re not even brothers.”
At least she didn’t say was going to be my wife.
Jesus Christ. I can’t win with this woman. Normally, I enjoy that, but tonight, it’s pissing me off.
“Does Marcel usually go with you?” she asks a little calmer.
“He has in the past.”
She’s quiet. Waiting me out. The fireworks are over. For now.
“Let me see who else will be there that I trust,” I finally offer. “And maybe you can come one night.”
Heidi’s not a pushover. That answer doesn’t satisfy her. It’s obvious in the way her big brown eyes are still snapping fire.
I take a deep breath. Marcel and I decided a long time ago to keep Heidi away from club business as much as possible. Rock’s asked her for a few things since she became my old lady but knows I prefer to keep her out of it.
On the other hand, I’m already planning to bring her with me to this meeting with Whisper. She’ll find out about the support club eventually, and if I’m going to be VP and mentoring the support club, I’ll need her help from time to time.
I hold out my hand. “Come here.”
Reluctantly, she takes my hand and lets me lead her into the kitchen. I boost her up on the counter and run my hands over her legs up to her hips a few times, trying not to get worked up over the fact she’s still wearing those crazy-hot purple leggings.
“What I tell you needs to stay between us for now. You can’t talk to Charlotte or Hope or anyone else about it, okay?”
“Blake, you know what we talk about always stays between us.”
I do know. Heidi’s damn good at keeping secrets. The ones I ask her to keep and too many others I’m afraid, sometimes.
“At the strong suggestion of National, we’re trying to organize a support club.”
Her eyes widen. “Oh, shit. No wonder Priest’s made so many visits lately. I knew it couldn’t all be for Sway.” Even Heidi understands the gravity of the situation when the National President makes demands of us. She tilts her head and studies me for a second before asking, “You think Remy and Griff are a good fit? They’re fighters not bikers.”
“They both ride. It’s…complicated club stuff.” She opens her mouth, but I continue before she calls bullshit. “I’m not saying that to be evasive. It’s tricky. Griff has a solid head on his shoulders. Remy’s a cocky motherfucker, though. I need to hang with them in other settings. Feel them out. It could be a mutually beneficial arrangement if we can make it work.”
“Is that the outing you asked me about?”
“Not quite. You remember, Whisper, right?”
“The Wolf Knights’ President, of course.”
“He asked for a meeting and Rock’s sending me. Supposed to be casual, friendly sit-down, but I need to address the possibility of the support club with him as a courtesy.”
“Could it get ugly?”
“Highly unlikely.”
“You need me to do anything?”
That’s my girl. “If we move forward, yeah. I have a few other guys in mind. Maybe you can make friends with their wives, see if you think they’re cut out for this.”
“Who else is on your short list?”
“Vapor? You remember him? We met him and Juliet down in Florida last year.”
“Oh yeah! Juliet would be perfect.”
“Yeah, well, he’s always been against joining an MC, but he’s had a few close-calls, and I think he’s starting to realize he could use the protection, even if he’s not ready to be a King.”
“Shouldn’t Dex be the one to lure Vapor in? Juliet’s his niece.”
I huff out a laugh. “Dex’s on board.”
“Who else?”
“Eraser. I don’t think you’ve ever met him. I’ve only met him a couple times myself. He’s the one with the racetrack.”
Her eyes sparkle, eager to help now that I’ve shared this with her. “Ooo! Is that why we’re going there to test the car?”
“Not the primary reason. I really do want you to be comfortable, and I figured that was the best way.” I shrug. “But, yeah, I want to check out his operation, too.”
“Anyone else?”
“That’s a start. We’ll let them put together the rest of their crew.”
She waits a few beats. “All right. You’re done fighting, then?”
I place my hands on her cheeks and tip her head back. “Yes.”
I’m five inches from her lips when she asks, “When was the last fight?”
I groan, knowing how much this answer will piss her off. “Around the time I went downstate to help out Z.”
The laser glare of hers returns.
“I’d already said yes to it.”
“That’s a lame excuse, Blake.” She’s silent. Probably working out how much time has gone by since then. Not a whole lot. Or maybe too much.
“Dammit.” She slides down off the counter, pushing me away.
“Where are you going?”
“Home.”
I raise an eyebrow, technically we’re in our home. She waves her hands in the air. “You know what I mean. I’m tired. It’s been a long day.”
I open my mouth to ask her to stay, then close it. Even though I opened up tonight, I’ve hurt her by lying for so long.
It’s better to give her space now. Let her cool off. Then start making it up to her later.
If she lets me.
Sixteen
Heidi
Furious, I storm through the woods, not caring about all the noise I’m making. If a bear tries to eat me, I think I’m mad enough to punch him in his fat, furry face.
Blake, thankfu
lly doesn’t follow me.
Under all that fury, my pride stings. If Murphy’s been fighting, the other brothers, including my brother, all probably knew about it. Men I’ve admired and respected my whole life have looked me in the eye and basically lied to me to protect Murphy’s secrets.
I fucking hate that.
I understand it to a certain extent, but I still hate it. No matter how much I love the club, no matter how much I do for the MC, I’m not a member, and I never will be. My head has always known that; my heart must have disregarded the memo.
Rock and Hope are still downstairs when I come in the front door.
My heart twists. I love Rock. Have thought of him as my sort of unofficial father for as long as I can remember. As much as I want to be mad at him, I can’t summon up any anger.
“Everything okay, Heidi-girl?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
I pop into Alexa’s room and check on her, watching her sleep for a few minutes.
I’ve never worried about Blake fighting because of ring bunnies or anything stupid like that. I fear him getting hurt. The little bit I know of the underground ring is that it’s brutal, and fighters don’t always make it out alive.