“Good. I was worried about him around the pool.”
Here’s the point in the conversation where I should invite my brother over for dinner. Normally, I would’ve done it weeks ago after we moved in. But his attitude toward Z and our relationship kept making me push it off.
“You sound tired. Is everything okay?” he asks with so much brotherly concern that I almost break down and tell him the truth.
“I’m fine. It’s been a busy day.”
From the hallway, Grace screams and Hope hushes her. Their door closes, but I can still hear Grace’s cries.
“Is that a baby?” Alex asks.
“Hope and Rock are here,” I explain.
“Oh.”
There’s an awkward silence I’m not sure how to fill. How am I supposed to explain they’ve been staying here helping me out while Z’s in jail?
“Z doesn’t mind?”
“Hope and Rock? Or the baby? No, he’s fine with both.”
“How’s Hope?”
I blow out an exasperated breath. “What’d I tell you about that?”
He laughs. “It’s a normal, friendly question.”
“She’s fine.”
“That’s good.” He’s silent for a few seconds and I almost check to see if the call dropped. “So, everything’s okay? You’re happy down there?”
Happy. The last time I experienced that emotion was the night of the clubhouse party. Right before the police showed up and shattered my whole world. “Yes. The neighborhood is great. I haven’t gotten to know the area well, but I’ll get there.”
“Where’s Chance taking the lessons?”
“Here at the house. A girl in the neighborhood is a lifeguard and swim instructor. She does private lessons.”
“That works out well. He likes it?”
“So far. I think having the lessons with Alexa helps.”
He chuckles. “You’ll have to give him a brother or sister soon.”
Startled by the comment, I sputter. “Seriously? I thought you—”
“I’m sorry I gave you grief.” He hesitates and clears his throat as if that apology wounded him. “I worry about you and Chance. I mean, would you be thrilled if I started seeing some biker gang chick?”
The image is so absurd, I burst out laughing. “As long as she made you happy. I wouldn’t care.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I do. Thanks, Alex.”
What am I thanking him for? His honesty? Maybe I’m sorry my brother feels too exposed. I certainly can’t remember the last time he apologized to me for anything. He makes a few excuses and we finish our conversation.
Even though we sort of patched things up, I’m still feeling restless and conflicted. I’m not sure what to do with myself. I used to tell my big brother everything. But somewhere over the years, our relationship twisted into equal doses of sibling love and animosity.
Maybe it bothered him that I didn’t help out my parents more, so he got stuck with the work. I’m too chicken to ask.
Beyond that, I honestly don’t want to know. I can’t handle any more guilt trips. After everything I’ve been through in the last few years, I think I’m entitled to shield myself from any more emotional trauma.
Chapter Nine
Lilly
The next morning, the front gate calls my cell phone.
“M’am. We have an Alex Volkov here to see you, but he’s not on our list.”
Shit, shit, shit.
“He’s my brother. Sorry about that. He should’ve been on the list.” What does that say about me? A good portion of Z’s biker brothers are on the list at the front gate, but my own brother isn’t.
“No problem, Mrs. Frazier.”
What the hell is Alex doing here? I should’ve given my brother more convincing answers last night. Something to reassure him he didn’t need to drive all the way down here this morning to check up on us.
“What’s wrong?” Charlotte asks.
“My brother’s stopping by.”
The look on my face must be pure panic. Rock walks over and places his hand on my shoulder, forcing me to look up. “You okay?”
“I’m not sure…What do I say to him?”
“The truth.” Rock studies me for a minute. “We’ve got nothing to hide, Lilly. If he doesn’t like us here helping you out, that’s his problem. Not mine. Or yours.”
Shit. I don’t want Rock to kill my brother if he says something nasty about Z. Even after the apologies he gave last night, Alex won’t let this one go. “He’s already not Z’s biggest fan.”
Rock smirks. “I gathered.” His gray eyes sparkle with the first bit of humor I’ve seen in days. “I won’t choke him if that’s what you’re worried about.” He glances over his shoulder. “Unless he asks my wife out. Or touches her.”
I laugh until tears run down my cheeks. “I warned him.”
More serious now, Rock pins me with a stern look. “You’re with Z.” It’s a statement, not a question. “So Alex is family.”
His words make me think of how the club treats Charlotte’s younger brother. Carter has nothing to do with the club, but he’s almost always included in club family events. Teller loves teasing Carter, but he’s also protective of him. Rock gave Carter a job, again bringing him into the family even though he doesn’t wear a patch.
“I’m not sure he’ll see it that way, but I appreciate that you do, Rock. Thank you.”
There’s a knock at the door and I hurry to answer it.
“Hey!” I pull the door open wider and try to act casual. “What are you doing here?”
Alex shifts from foot to foot and cocks his head. We’re past the part of the greeting where I should step back so he can come in. “You sounded sad or something last night. I was worried about you.”
My chest squeezes at the concern in his voice. But the rest of me is still on edge.
He draws me in for a hug. “Are you all right?” he murmurs against my hair.
“I’m fine.” I take his hand and drag him farther away from the front door, closing it behind us.
He stops me from dragging him all the way back to his truck by jerking my hand, bringing me to a stop. “Lilly, what’s going on?”
My gaze lands on the sidewalk. “Z’s in jail.”
Alex places a finger under my chin and tips my head back. His dark, stern eyes search my face. “Why? What happened?”
“Nothing.” I swat his hand away. “We’re not sure. Rock has an attorney working on it. I just…he’s not here. I didn’t want you to say something. And I don’t want to talk about it in front of Chance.”
He places his hands on his hips and drops his gaze. “Jesus Christ.” He squeezes his eyes shut and slowly opens them. “I’m sorry. Do you need anything?”
Shocked that’s the first thing out of his mouth, I back up a step. “No, I’m fine. I’m worried sick about him, but I’m fine.”
“Can’t he get bail?”
Surprised my brother cares one way or another, my answer comes out slow. “They’re…working on that.”
“Have you at least been able to see him?”
Again, I don’t have an answer ready. “Z doesn’t want…” God, I can’t explain that Z doesn’t want a connection between us because someone might figure out Z is responsible for blowing my rapist to bits. That’s several conversations worth of information I don’t want to share with my brother. Ever. “He doesn’t want me coming down to the jail. Rock agreed that it wouldn’t be good for me and asked me not to go.”
Alex blows out a breath. “Well, I can’t argue with that. At least he’s not being selfish about it.”
“Z’s the least selfish person I’ve ever known.”
Alex stares at me, searching my face. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“No. I’m tied up in knots worrying about him.” I nod to the house next door. “Murphy was arrested with Z. Rock and Hope have been staying with me to help me out and help keep things as normal as we ca
n for Chance and Alexa.”
He raises his eyebrows. “Really?”
“Yes.”
“You could’ve called me.”
“The way you’re always criticizing Z? Why would I want to call you for help? So you can say you told me so?”
He’s silent for a few seconds, absorbing my words.
“Fine, yes, Lilly, this is exactly the sort of thing I worried about. I don’t want this for you.”
“Alex—”
“Let me finish. I’ve been thinking about this a lot since the stuff with Dad.”
Fantastic.
“Dad’s always been halfway to being a criminal himself.”
Blown away doesn’t quite describe my reaction to Alex’s words. “What?”
“Come on, Lilly. You don’t remember his friends at the port bringing him boxes of stuff that ‘fell off the truck’ when we were kids?”
I squint, trying to force a vague memory to come to the surface.
“So, I guess your attraction to this life isn’t a surprise.”
“What? That’s gross.” I slap his chest. “What’s wrong with you?”
“I’m only kidding. Sort of. Besides that, Dad’s cheated on Mom forever. I don’t want that constant heartbreak for you, Lilly.”
What can I say? Z’s had more than his fair share of conquests. He’s never hidden it from me. But I trust him. “He’s well-aware of my feelings on that subject.” My mouth twists into a wry smile. I’m not about to explain the I’ll-cut-your-dick-off-if-you-cheat-on-me warning I gave Z.