Lilly.
Fuck.
Grace lets out a happy-gurgling noise and kicks her tiny feet. Rock reaches out, plucking his daughter from my arms. “What?”
Hope settles her hand on my arm, drawing my attention to her again.
“I ran into Lilly today.”
What a coincidence. I woke up with Lilly on my mind today.
“Yeah? So?” My tone’s a lot gruffer than I’d normally use with Hope, but she seems to brush it off.
“I think you should see her.”
I snort. “No thanks.”
Last time I saw Lilly I thought we were finally moving from fuck-buddies into an actual relationship—a first for me—but she had a different plan. One that didn’t include me. Took a long time and a lot of women for that sting to fade. No way am I putting myself out there with her again.
I’m supremely fucking irritated at the curiosity rising in my chest. Of the way my mind automatically flashes to Lilly’s face. The desire to see her. Find out if she’s okay.
Shit, I still fucking miss her. I suspect it’s some other emotion squeezing the air from my lungs. Whatever that uncomfortable warm, fuzzy emotion might be, I toss it in my mental freezer and padlock it shut.
Hope wraps her fingers around my arm, a gentle pressure to capture my attention. “Z, you need to see her.”
“Why? Wait, did she ask to see me?”
“Sort of.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
She bites her bottom lip and glances at Rock.
“It’ll be easier if we go meet up with her.”
I’d been so focused on Hope, I didn’t notice what Rock was up to. While I’m still reeling from the news that Lilly’s back, he’s busy packing up the baby’s things and grabbing his keys.
“Come on,” he says.
“Wait a fuckin’ minute.” My gaze darts between the two of them. “Tell me what the fuck is going on. Is she okay?”
“She’s fine,” Hope assures me.
Rock nudges me out of the room and down the stairs.
I’m pissed, but also…curious.
Why the hell would Lilly want to see me now? Does she even want to see me? Or do these two think now that Lilly’s back, it’s time to play matchmaker? I don’t think my pride can handle the last one.
At the truck, Rock hands the baby to Hope, who arranges her in the car seat. She gives me one last look before hopping in the back with Grace.
Rock takes me aside. With a hand to the chest, he pushes me against the truck. “You need to keep your cool.”
Even for Rock—who tends to be one intense motherfucker—his behavior falls on the excessive side. “Tell me what’s going on, brother.”
He glances at the closed door.
“I don’t even know how to say it, Angus.”
Whoa, it’s been a long time since Rock’s called me anything other than my road name. Or brother, pretty boy, or if he’s really in a mood, fuckface. “What?”
He pinches the bridge of his nose and looks away for a second. “Lilly. Hope ran into her today.”
“Yeah, she said that already. Twice. So what?”
“There was someone with her.”
“What, is she married now or something?” The words come out dripping with the sarcasm I intended, but I hate the sickness rising in my gut at the thought of Lilly with someone else.
“No.”
I’m missing something huge. And I don’t understand why Rock can’t spit it out. He’s usually blunt, to the point, and about as subtle as a sledgehammer.
“Her brother? I’ve met him. What happened? Did he hit on Hope again? We going to kick his ass?”
Rock doesn’t laugh or look like he has murder on his mind. Whatever it is must be bad.
“Rock, is Lilly okay? She’s not hurt or something, is she?” I may hate her fucking guts, but I don’t want anything bad to happen to her either.
“No.”
“She hasn’t wanted to see me in over two years. Why the big hurry now?”
“Hope ran into her with her…son.”
The fact that Lilly has a kid with some other guy settles in my chest like a burning ball of fire. Especially when she always said she never wanted kids and never took me seriously when I told her how much I wanted a family.
But that just shows you how fucking dense I am.
“Okay?”
“He’s…fuck!” Rock can’t even look at me for a few seconds. He squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head. A few seconds later, he opens his eyes, staring straight into mine.
A second before he says the words, it finally hits me.
“He’s your son, Z. We’re taking you to meet your son.”
Two
Lilly
“This is a bad idea, Alex.”
My brother hasn’t stopped pacing since we arrived at the park. I’m perched on top of a picnic table so I can watch Chance on the playground while Alex paces.
“I can’t even look at you right now,” he says, voice tight with anger.
His words hurt.
It hurts that I’ve disappointed my brother so much. Disappointed myself. I have my reasons. They’re good ones. Ones I’ll never explain to Alex. Or anyone else. Not even Z. No matter how much I might want him not to hate me.
“How could you not even tell him? You wouldn’t tell me who the father was but swore up and down he wanted nothing to do with Chance. Lilly, how could you?” He stabs his fingers into his hair. “Jesus Christ. It had to be that big biker thug. I swear if he even thinks of touching you—”
“He’s not a thug,” I answer calmly. “And he wouldn’t hurt me.”
“Then why?”
“Mommy! Look!” Chance races over the rubber floor of the playground. His sneaker catches and he pitches forward. Alex dives for him, scooping him up and swinging him around. “What’cha got, kiddo?”
Chance hands me a tiny pink and white pebble. “For Mommy.” He grins when he places it in my hand.
“Ooo pretty. Thank you.”
As I slip the stone in my pocket, a big black SUV pulls into the lot. My heart pounds. Z’s here.
Sure enough, his best friend, Rock, climbs out first. I wonder what Hope told her husband. If she told him. I’ve always liked Rock. Respect him a lot for the reverent way he treats his wife. I don’t even think I can look him in the eye now.
Z jumps out and storms across the grass, so fast it takes a few seconds for Rock to catch up to him, pull him back with a hand on his shoulder, and say something against his ear.
Even though I lost the right, it’s impossible not to notice how gorgeous Z is. How much my heart still speeds up when he’s near. And not because I’m afraid of him.
My gaze jumps to Hope, who steps out of the SUV, carrying her daughter.
What a humiliating mess.
Panic seizes my throat and I struggle to take a breath.
It’s not Z, my brother, or anyone here bringing on the attack. It’s all the other memories of why I ended up here that threaten to consume me.
Alex, of course, makes it worse by blocking Z’s path.
But Z’s not looking at me or Alex. He’s completely focused on Chance.
Wave after wave of guilt crashes over me, washing the panic away.
This is happening.
He’s here.
My son’s about to meet his father.
Z
Alex is dangerously close to having his arm ripped off.
“Move,” I demand, attempting to shove past him. Fucker slaps his palm against my chest, pushing me back. He’s a big dude. Easily my size.
I could still drop him to the ground in one punch, but that’s not how I want to remember the day I met my son. Don’t want to make a scene in front of my boy and end up making him afraid of me either.
“Easy,” Alex says.
I get right up in his face. “Try and tell me that’s not my son.”
His eyes close briefly. “I didn’t know she never told you.”
That drains some of the fight out of me. Alex isn’t a fan of mine. Here I thought he helped Lilly hide my kid from me. “What?”