“That must get expensive.”
“You’re not kidding.” He roughs his hands over his pants a few times before continuing. “The last time was bad. My mother was in the hospital and he only came by to help himself to her pain meds.” He looks away. “After she died, I was done with them. Rock, Wrath, and the club have always been more of a real family to me than my own. True brothers.”
“I can relate. Alex is the boy. Their oldest. He’s always been their favorite and I’ve always been the disappointment.”
“I can’t ever see you being a disappointment.”
“No? You sure about that?” Suddenly, I’m feeling exposed again. “I don’t want you to think I’m a bad mother,” I blurt out.
He leans in and rubs his knuckles over my cheek. “You’re an amazing mother. I love watching you with Chance. I’m in awe of you.” His mouth twists. “You may be a shitty girlfriend, but you’re a wonderful mother.”
I laugh and sniffle at the same time. I am bad at love, so I’m not offended. “I was never your girlfriend.”
“You got more questions?”
“Not right now.”
“Good.”
Before I have a chance to anticipate what’s coming, Z cradles my head with his hands and swoops in, closing his mouth over mine.
One of his hands slides down my back, pulling me closer against him and knocking me backward at the same time.
A soft, “oh” rushes out of my mouth as my back hits the couch cushions. My mind should send out a warning signal any minute now. But Z’s lips crash against mine again, kissing me like he’s dying of thirst and I’m the only water in a vast desert.
I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer and he makes an encouraging sound.
“I’m always thinking about you. Never stopped thinking about you.” His roughly-spoken words sound completely sincere.
Never stopped.
The sentiment sounds simple, but, to me, it’s powerful. This is his way of saying I was never a meaningless fling. And even though I disappeared, I meant something to him. Still mean something to him.
No one has ever made me feel that way. I’ve grown accustomed to being an afterthought. A disappointment. Never quite able to get things right or make anyone happy.
He trails kisses along my jaw and down to my neck, over my collarbone, lightly sucking at my skin and sending delightful shivers through my body.
“Do you forgive me?” I bite my lip as soon as the words leave my mouth. I have zero right to ask that question.
He pulls away and stares down at me. “Are you leaving me again?”
“No,” I whisper.
“I’m still furious.” He shakes his head and brushes the hair out of my eyes. He squeezes his eyes shut for a few seconds before staring down at me with so much intensity, I swear he’s trying to see into my soul. “But I don’t want to be.”
That’s progress.
And more than I have a right to hope for.
As if he’s given me some sort of permission, I drag my hands down his back and under his shirt marveling at the solid muscles under my fingertips.
This man could break me in so many ways.
He lowers himself and kisses me again. I revel in the feel of the hard, strong, warm weight of him pressing against my body.
The heat of his breath burns over my skin.
“I never stopped thinking about you,” I confess.
Of course, I didn’t. There were too many reminders and fears to ever forget him. Most importantly, he’s probably the only man I’ve ever been in love with.
And that scares the hell out of me.
Twenty
Z
It’s too easy to let myself get carried away with Lilly again.
I meant what I said, though. The sting of her betrayal lingers, but I want to purge all those negative feelings and focus on what’s in front of us.
Forever.
I want her, us, our family. Forever.
Feather light, she drags her fingers down my back. Tingles race down my spine, like nothing I’ve experienced before.
Forgive her. Shit, I was ready to forgive and forget the second I laid eyes on her again. The undeniable pull she has on me can’t be ignored.
“Will you kiss me again?” she asks.
“You don’t have to ask.” I lean down and kiss her cheek, soft, an opportunity to press my skin against hers, breathe her in.
I brush my mouth over hers. Once. Twice. Deliberate and intense. I missed this. Exploring someone familiar, who I actually feel something for.
As I remember, her mouth is soft, sweet from the tea she was drinking. I take my time, kissing her slow and soft. She smells so fucking good. Something cozy and soapy. Underneath that, an essence that’s all her.
“I like that,” she whispers when I pull back to drink her in. Her fingertips whisper over my cheek. “You’re not gentle often.”
Fuck, the reminder of how rough and shitty I treated her the other night comes rushing back to ruin the moment.
“With you, I should always be gentle.”
Her plush, kiss-reddened lips pull into a smile. “Sometimes, definitely. But not always.” She runs her fingers through my hair, sending another shiver of pleasure down my spine. “I want you. The way you are. Always.”
With a firmer grip, I slide my hand up her thigh, under her dress, and brush my thumb against her underwear.
“Z. Chance, he might…”
“We’re just cuddling. No sex.”
She laughs, a soft puff of air over my cheek. “Cuddle my ass. Your hand’s practically in my underwear.”
“There’s that smart mouth I’ve missed.”
She raises an eyebrow. “You like when I’m mouthy with you?”
“Fucking love it.”
Her fingers tighten in my hair, and she pulls me closer for another kiss.
I’m totally lost in her. Sliding down a long, slippery well of desire. Tasting, exploring, giving and taking. I can’t remember the last time I lazily indulged in making out with a woman. High school? The last time I was with Lilly? The anticipation and build-up never interested me as much as getting right to the point.
But I could take every single detour in the world just to keep touching Lilly like this.
“Mommy?” Chance calls.
What do you know? Turns out this amazing son of mine is also a gifted cock-blocker.
Little feet shuffle over the carpet, giving me barely enough time to sit up and straighten Lilly’s dress.
She sits up and answers. “Out here, Chance.”
Little man’s so damn cute, rubbing his fists against his eyes. I can’t even be mad he interrupted us.
“Hi, Thee.” He waves at me before turning to Lilly. “Dri
nk.”
“Okay.” She stands and holds out her hand, leading him into the kitchen. I sit back against the couch and close my eyes, willing my erection to go away.
Their soft voices carry into the living room and I smile at Chance’s sleepy words.
A few minutes later, Lilly touches my leg. “Are you awake?”
“Just waiting for you.”
Her lips twitch. “I’m going to head to bed.”
That doesn’t sound like an invitation to join her. I stare at her for a few minutes before nodding. “See you in the morning.”
Twenty-One
Lilly
Getting involved with Z before we tell Chance who he is to him seems wrong.
Okay, that’s silly. We’re already way beyond involved.
But Chance interrupting us seemed like a sign that the timing was wrong.
The next morning, I wake up early and tiptoe up to Z’s room.
My breath catches in my throat as I approach his bed. It should be illegal for anyone to look that damn good first thing in the morning.
“Z,” I whisper, gently touching his bare shoulder.
“Hmm?” He blinks and stares up at me. A slow, sleepy smile curves his lips. “Morning, Siren. Come to lure me to my death?”
“What?”
He blinks, coming fully awake. His eyes search mine and then look past me. “Why you in my room?”
“I wanted to talk to you before Chance wakes up.”
He slides over and throws the covers back, inviting me into bed with him.
“Uh, are you…”
“Lilly, I haven’t even had coffee yet. Just come here and say what’s on your mind.”
As soon as I rest my butt on the edge of the bed, he yanks me closer and throws the covers over us.
“What’s on your mind?” he asks, pressing a kiss to my temple.
“What are your plans today?”
“To spend time with you two.”
My heart pitter-pats at the simplicity of his words. “I want to talk to Chance today.”
“About?”
“You…your relationship…that you’re his father.”
He turns away and runs his hand over his face a few times before staring at the ceiling. “I’d like that.”