“Hi, Chance,” Patsy says, waving at him. He grins and waves back.
It kills me that my father’s mistress is nicer to my son than his actual grandparents.
“Patsy, how are you?” I sound about as stiff and cold as I feel.
“It’s good you finally came home, Lilly,” she answers.
I flash a fake smile. The first two days I’d been home had been nothing but guilt trips and lectures from my family. Now it seems to be Patsy’s turn.
As far as I know, she’s never had children of her own. Spent too many years waiting for my father to leave my mother, I guess.
“It’s good to be home,” I answer tightly. Despite the shitty circumstances and the horrible awkwardness with Z, it’s true. “Dad asked for some water.”
“I’ll do it,” Patsy offers, turning and hurrying to the nurse’s station.
“Even in the hospital, Dad’s living the dream, isn’t he?”
“Don’t start,” Alex warns.
“You’re right.” I hold out my hands for Chance and he fusses as Alex gives him to me. “I’m obviously not needed here. I’m going to go by the house and see if Mom needs anything.”
Alex casts a sad look toward my father’s room. “Honestly, I’m not sure which option is worse, Sis.”
“Tell me about it.”
Z
“How’s it going?” Rock asks after he declares church over.
“Good. Real good.”
“You’re handling it okay?”
Meaning, am I being a shithead to Lilly? My lips curve up, not insulted at all. “No, I’m still furious I lost so much time with him—”
Something in his expression stops me from continuing. Rock almost seems to be taking this as hard as I am.
“You okay, brother?” I ask after everyone else has left the war room.
“Are you?” he counters.
“I can’t believe all the shit I’ve missed out on. I’m so fucking angry—”
“You have every right to be. It’s a shit situation. She give you any explanation?”
“Nothing. I gotta assume she’s worried about the club or something. I want to choke the fucking answers out of her, you know?”
Rock stares at me for a long time before speaking. “I’ve known you a long time, Angus. You’re level-headed. Smart. I understand this is a huge betrayal, but you have two choices here. You can be right or you can be happy.”
His words sink in and I’m almost about to agree when he adds something else.
“At least you found out now.”
Something about the comment scratches at my memory. Over the last few months, Rock’s demeanor has been…different in certain situations. Maybe part of that is from lack of sleep due to a newborn in the house, but even before Grace was born, it seemed like something was off.
“Did Inga’s test show something, Rock?” It’s the only thing that makes sense.
He’s thrilled about being a dad. Only time he ever seems happy anymore is when he’s around Hope and Grace.
And Teller. He’s been spending a lot of time down at Teller and Charlotte’s place lately.
He eyes me carefully. “What makes you ask that?”
“Everyone else seems relieved and hasn’t mentioned it again. Except for the general reminder to suit up and the extra condoms they’ve been stashing around the clubhouse.”
A joke like that would normally pull at least a small chuckle out of Rock.
Not today.
His gaze drifts to Teller’s chair and he shakes his head. “Have no idea who her baby daddy is. Don’t give a fuck either.”
Okay, so it’s not Inga bothering him. But something still isn’t right. “What’s weighing you down, brother?”
Rock’s the one who does the counseling of all of us. Whether he wants to or not, it’s just another one of his unofficial jobs as our president. I know for a fact, Wrath counsels him when he needs it. However, Wrath also enjoys needling and pissing Rock off on a regular basis. Well, hell, I indulge in a little bit of that too, occasionally.
“You got enough on your plate right now,” he says.
“Maybe taking my mind off it for a minute will help.” It’s a sneaky move on my part. Rock will take the bait.
He clasps his hands in front of him on the table and stares at them for a few beats. “This doesn’t leave the room.”
“Yeah, Prez. I got you. You can trust me.”
“I know I can. That’s the only reason I’m considering sharing this with you. The tests did make a…connection. Just not to Inga.”
I raise an eyebrow and wait.
“Teller and I…well, he’s my son.”
Holy fuck me sideways.
“What? Are they sure? How in the actual fuck is that even possible?” The enormity of what he just shared sinks in further. “Jesus Christ. We’ve known him since he was what, twelve? Thirteen? You had no idea?”
“No.”
“Not even a little?”
He glares at me and I wipe the shock off my face. A revelation like this had to have left my president reeling. And until this moment, I hadn’t realized anything was wrong. Kinda makes me a shitty friend. I should be able to recognize when a brother’s troubled. “Does Hope know?”
His mouth twists down. “Who do you think had the pleasure of telling us?”
Something about that is almost tragically funny since Hope’s also the one who showed up at my door to tell me about Chance.
“I guess if Jerry Springer ever retires, Hope can audition for the job.”
His eyes crinkle at the corners and he actually laughs. “She handled it better than either of us did at first.”
I remember Teller taking off not long after we all got the happy news that none of us had fathered Inga’s unfortunate spawn. Hadn’t thought much of it. It wasn’t unusual for brothers to take a spur-of-the-moment road trip. It’s kind of the entire point of being in an MC—the freedom to do what you want, when you want.
After Teller went off the grid, Rock had to take care of some business with an out-of-town club. I ended up taking Hope to the doctor for one of her check-ups. Fun day. Had my own lightbulb moment that I really wanted a family of my own and blubbered about it to Hope all the way home.
Now I have a son, and everything’s still fucked up ten ways from Sunday.
“Teller’s looked up to you forever, Rock. I can’t imagine he’s upset about it.”
He strokes his hand over his chin a few times while staring down the long war room table. “More like bewildered. It shook him for a bit. Honestly, he’s more worried about how to break it to Heidi.”
“That’s not surprising.” Teller’s always been hyper-protective of his little sister. A big brother syndrome that intense doesn’t disappear because his sister’s now twenty years old, a mom, and engaged to his best friend. “That why you haven’t told anyone else? Any of us?”
“Yeah.” He waves his hand at the closed war room door. “Well, Wrath figured it out.”
“Of course, he did.”
Rock laughs again. “I got no issue telling the club. But…”
“It creates a problem for you as president.”
He nods. “It’s my job to keep the club safe. Every single one of you.”
“If anyone can kee
p the club and your son safe, it’s you, Rock. I have absolute faith. This news doesn’t change that for me, and it won’t change how the other guys feel either.” I lean over and bump him with my elbow. “Teller and Murphy have always been your favorites, anyway. We all know it.”
“Bullshit.” He laughs and shoves me away.
“I’m just fucking with you. You’re the fairest person I know. You’re always doing what’s right for all of us. Not yourself. Not the officers.” I point at each chair at the table. “Every single one of us. And that ain’t easy. You always gotta be looking at the bigger picture. Weigh all your options. I get that this tangles up your loyalties a little between blood and brotherhood, but I trust you, same as ever.”
“Thanks, brother.”
Jesus. The two years I missed with Chance seem like nothing compared to what Rock’s lost. He hated missing the smallest thing when Hope was pregnant. And he spends as much time doting on Grace as Hope does. Not knowing about his son for almost thirty years is ten kinds of horrible for a man like Rock.
“I’m sorry, Prez.”
“We’ll work it out.”
“I know you will.”
“Now, what about your situation? You headed back up to Lake George?”
“I can’t drop everything forever. Eventually, I gotta work out some sort of schedule or something with her. But yeah, for now I’m headed up there.”
“We got you covered here. So, take whatever time you need. You gonna bring him by the clubhouse?”
“I want to, yeah.”
“Gonna bring Lilly with you?”
My jaw tightens. “Don’t know about that.”
“Think you’re gonna have to if you…Well, if you decide to, let us know so Hope and I can be here. Maybe it’ll make her more comfortable.”
“Appreciate that.” I glance at the door for a second, my heart thumps as I consider my next question. “Think I can measure out a piece of land and start my own house?”
“Already told you yes. More than once.”
“Been thinking on it even before all…this. But now it’s definitely time.”
“Absolutely. Anything I can do to help, don’t hesitate to ask.”
“Murphy’s almost done, right? I’ll hit up Jasper. See what he says.”