“Maybe if the weather’s nice,” Lilly says. She lifts her eyes. “Z?”
I stare right back. “I told you what my plans were.”
“I have to go visit my dad in the hospital.”
That doesn’t sound like an invitation to tag along. Not that I want to anyway.
My phone buzzes and I check the text.
Wrath: Coming to church?
Usually attending church isn’t optional. Rock calls us together at least once a week. Most often on Saturday mornings before Crystal Ball opens. And because all the brothers usually partied at the clubhouse the night before and are still around to gather together to sit down for club business.
As V.P., I should be there. Considering my life blew up yesterday, Rock will give me a pass. But if Lilly’s going to be with her family anyway, maybe I should bank that pass for another time.
“I need to go up to the clubhouse.” I slide my gaze at Chance.
“Do you still have the dogs?” Lilly asks.
“Doggies!”
“Yeah.” I hold up two fingers. “I have two. Ziggy and Zipper.”
“Thiggy?” Chance says.
“Wrath and Trin are watching them for me,” I explain to Lilly, in case she’s thinking I can’t even take care of my dogs.
A faint smile ghosts her lips. “How is Trinity? I haven’t talked to her since before Hope’s baby shower.”
Surprised the two talked at all, it takes me a second to answer. “Her photography business is keeping her busy. She drove Hope nuts doing all these bump photos when she was pregnant.”
Lilly arches a brow. Surprised I know what a “bump photo” is or that I paid attention to what the girls do? It was hard not to be aware since they talked about it all the time.
“Knowing Hope, she hated that.”
I laugh because Hope had done some good-natured grumbling. “She says she’s happy about it now.”
Lilly’s gaze darts away and something sad passes over her face. Whether she’s upset she missed her friend’s pregnancy or she’s remembering something about her own, I can’t tell. Being in the dark about what’s bothering her just reminds me of how much distance there is between us. Distance I doubt we’ll be able to overcome.
“I’ll get that key made up today,” she finally says.
At least she’s gotten comfortable with the idea that I’ll be back.
Eleven
Z
Chance is on my mind the whole way back to the clubhouse. Lilly is too, no matter how I try to push her out of my thoughts.
Trinity’s the first one I run into at the clubhouse.
“Hey, Z!” She waves and strolls over to my truck, waiting for me to get out.
“Where’s that husband of yours? He told me to get my ass up here.”
“He took the pups for a ride down to Picking Ladder for cider donuts.”
“He let the dogs in his truck?”
She laughs and points to the clubhouse. “He covered the backseat with the blankets from your bed.”
“Great.”
The smile fades from her lips. “How’d it go?”
“Hope tell you?”
“Of course.” Her eyes spark with anger. Trinity’s the perfect wife for our sergeant-at-arms. She’s one-hundred percent badass. She may have a sweet side, but not when it comes to people messing with her club family. “I always liked Lilly. I can’t believe she would—”
“Tell me about it.”
Anger colors her words. “I can’t believe when I talked to her about Hope’s shower, she didn’t mention it. I should’ve known she knew too much about baby crap for a single girl.”
“She really didn’t tell you?”
Her mouth turns down. I might’ve hurt her feelings with that stupid question.
“Hell no. No matter how much I like her, I’d never keep something like that from you, Z.”
“I know you wouldn’t. I shouldn’t have said that.”
Her expression softens. “So, how is he? When do we get to meet him?”
“He’s such a cool little dude, Trinity.” My voice falters. Lilly needs to get used to the idea that the club is my family and Chance will always be welcomed here. “I still got a lot to work out with her.” I cock my head to the side, unsure of how she’ll receive my next request. “Lilly’s probably going to want to come up with him at least the first time or two.” My lips quirk. “As much as I appreciate you being pissed on my behalf, you’ll make her feel welcomed, right?”
“You know I will. We all will.” Her mouth curls into a smirk. “Well, maybe not Heidi. She’s pretty upset. You are her favorite uncle after all.”
I chuckle, not really surprised Heidi’s upset by the news. She grew up around the club and I’ve known her since she was around Chance’s age.
“Are you excited?” Trinity asks.
My hands curl into fists. “I’m furious I missed so much of his life already.”
“I get that.” She brushes her fingers against my arm, drawing my attention to her. “How many memories do you have of your first two years?”
“Uh, none?”
“See?” She shrugs and looks away. “It sucks big time. But you’re going to be there for him from now on. That’s what counts.”
“Aw, shit, Trin. You trying to make me cry?”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” She holds out her arms and gives me a quick hug. “You’re gonna be such a great dad. I can’t wait to meet him.”
“Thanks.”
She bites her lip and flicks her gaze toward the clubhouse, maybe contemplating her next words.
“What?”
“I can’t imagine what you’re going through. You know I’m always on your side—and not just because club first.”
“I know.” Trin’s been a good friend to me over the years.
“Lilly’s a good person. I have to believe she had a reason.”
“Yeah? Well, she hasn’t been all that eager to share her reasons with me.”
“You’re not like other guys, Z. Now that you know about Chance, you’re going to be in his life and that means Lilly’s going to be in your life too.”
Like that hasn’t occurred to me nonstop. “So?”
“Try to set your anger aside and be kind to her.”
My jaw drops. “You think I’d hurt her?”
“Never. No. That’s not what I’m trying to say at all.”
Trinity’s comment hit me hard in the gut, so I only said that to buy myself some time.
Isn’t that what I’ve wanted all along? Lilly in my life?
Fuck no, am I ever admitting that to anyone.
“I mean it won’t be good for Chance and he’ll pick up on it if you’re angry with each other.”
I think of how perceptive Chance has already been the couple times he thought I upset Lilly. “Yeah, he’s a smart kid.”
“Z!” Hope calls out. She and Rock step off the path through the woods that leads to their house further back on the club’s property. “You’re here.”
Rock’s carrying Grace in her baby carrier-contraption and she fusses as he sets her down to shake my hand. “You all right?”
“I’m fine, Prez.”
Grace gurgles and waves her arms at me. “Shit, she looks like she got bigger overnight,” I say, bending down to pick her up.
“She probably did. She eats non-stop,” Hope mutters.
Trinity grins and gives Hope a one-armed hug, whispering something in her ear that makes her laugh.
“You didn’t have to come,” Rock says. “I had you covered.”
“Nah, she had some family stuff to do. It’s all good.”
“You didn’t bring him with you?” Hope asks.
“Not yet.”
Her mouth curves into a slow, playful smile. “Well, we’ll be happy to babysit Chance anytime.”
Understanding what she’s implying, I groan. “Not happening. Charlotte coming up with Teller today? Maybe I should talk to her about drawing up a custody arrangement or something.”
Hope whaps me with a pink baby blanket. “I can help you do that if it’s amicable. Lilly better be civil to you.”
I shrug, not really sure where Lilly’s head is at right now.
“I hope it doesn’t come down to going to court. I’ll talk to her if you need me to,” Hope promises.
“Thanks, First Lady.”
I kiss each of Grace’s cheeks and she drools on me before I hand her back to Hope.
Rock tugs on Hope’s hand and they go inside with the baby.
“As much as I’d rather hang out here, I guess I better get my ass inside,” I say. Can’t wait for all the questions I’ll get from my nosy-ass brothers.
“Go ahead. I’m waiting for Wrath.”
“Catch you later.”
Instead of the usual ribbing and ridicule I’m normally subjected to around here, everyone acts as if I’m returning from a funeral.
“How’s it going, brother?” Sparky asks in a low, grave tone, completely unlike the usual prankster-stoner.
“Fine. Stop acting like my goldfish died, motherfucker.”
At least Ravage is feeling like his same old obnoxious self. He hooks an arm around my neck and hugs me to him. “If you’re gettin’ together with Lilly, can I have Stella’s number?”
Okay, so he’s a dick too.
Shaking off his arm, I glare at him. “I’m not getting together with Lilly.”
“Is she available, then?” He glances at Sparky. “She was stacked, right?”
I shove him backwards. “That’s the mother of my kid, asshole.”
He flops onto the couch, laughing his ass off. “We need to talk about putting some birth control in the water up here. Way, way too many babies popping up lately.”