“No… it was. It was bad. I pulled up the same time the ambulance got there.”
I give his shoulder a squeeze and make my way to Heidi. She doesn’t move or register my presence until I sit next to her and put my hand on her back. “How are you, Heidi girl?”
Sitting up slowly, she sniffles and wipes her face before focusing on me. “Hi. Did they make you come up here because of me?”
My heart constricts at her words. As if I’m only here because Rock asked me and not because I want to be here for her. “Honey, I’m here for you. Do you want to talk?”
She blinks at me and sits up a little straighter. “Not really… Hope, she died right in front of me.”
Taking a chance, I wrap her in my arms, and she responds by putting her head on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, honey. That’s awful.”
“We weren’t fighting, though. I got to tell her about this scholarship I got to go to some summer classes, and she was actually happy with me for once. So that’s something, right?”
“Yes. That’s great. At least you had a nice moment with her before.”
“I still feel awful for always being such a brat to her, you know?”
I want to say it’s okay, that it’s normal to be a brat at her age, but I don’t think she’ll find that comforting. “That’s normal,” I tell her instead.
“I wish we could find my mom. She doesn’t even know her own mother is…”
“I know.” I don’t know what else to say to her. I’m not sure how much she knows about any of the time Rock spent helping Teller track down his mother.
Stupid secrets. One of these days I’m going to have to ask Rock to give me a list of what I can and can’t say to people around here.
As soon as I step out of the garage, I spot Hope’s car. No one bothered to tell me she’d arrived. Fuckin’ great.
“We’re all secure down there, right?” Wrath asks. Since he hates navigating the narrow stairs, he’s been patiently waiting in the garage.
Well, patient for him.
“Why didn’t anyone tell me Hope was here?”
Wrath glances at the parking lot. “Didn’t know.”
The door slams behind us. Z works the combination into the keypad for the side door and joins us. “We gonna have a full house for the funeral?” he asks.
I shake my head.
Teller joins us. “Hope’s here. She’s inside with Heidi. Thanks for calling her.”
“Yeah, no problem. You need help making any of the arrangements?”
“No. I guess her lawyer had a set of instructions or some shit. I’ll take Bug later to go pick out some stuff.”
“I’ll start contacting some of the other charters—” Z starts.
Teller cuts him off. “Don’t bother. If you guys are there, I appreciate it. But given the way she felt about the club, especially after some of the shit she said at the end of that stuff with Heidi, I don’t feel right having—”
“It’s not for her. It’s for you,” I say.
He shakes his head. “I know.”
“We’ll do whatever you want, bro,” Wrath says with a hearty back slap, almost knocking Teller on his ass.
Teller shoots him a glare, then focuses on me. “I hate askin’, but can I stay up here with Heidi for a few days? She really doesn’t want to go back to the house, and—”
“Yeah, of course.” And to make that happen, I see who I need to talk to stepping out of the clubhouse. “Trinity,” I call out. She turns and nods at me, waiting to see what I want.
“We good here?” I ask the guys. I get affirmatives from everyone, so I wave Trinity over and meet her halfway.
“What’s up, prez? Hope’s inside with Heidi.”
“I know. Thanks. Can you do me a favor? Heidi’s going to stay up here for a few days. I need you to—”
She gives me a knowing look. “Call the girls and tell them they can’t come up?”
“Pretty much.”
“Can I at least bring Swan? She won’t misbehave, and I could use her help.” She lowers her voice a bit. “Besides, she’s sorta tight with T, since, you know—”
“Yeah, yeah. I trust your judgment.” At the moment, I can’t remember which one Swan is, but if Trinity says the girl will behave, I believe her.
While we walk into the clubhouse together, Trinity explains what she plans to do for the wake. I barely hear any of it, though. I reassure her that everything sounds fine, and she thanks me as she heads to the kitchen. My eyes are glued to Hope, who’s sitting on the couch with Heidi in her arms, talking softly to the girl who wouldn’t respond to any of us an hour ago.
If I were the sort of man who cried, now might be one of those times. All I can think about is the doctor calmly explaining to Hope that she might not be able to have children. It’s beyond fuckin’ unfair. The woman is already so damn nurturing and maternal. I’m completely slammed and blindsided by the thought of having children with her and then beyond pissed that it might not be an option.
Even though the funeral is for someone who wasn’t related to me in any way, I feel the pull of the depressing day ahead of us.
This isn’t about me, though. I need to be strong for Heidi. I want to be strong for Rock and his club. With those goals in mind, I set aside my own unease.
Rock’s already out of bed. The bathroom door is open, so I assume he’s downstairs. The funeral isn’t until eleven, so I have plenty of time to get ready. I decide to go downstairs and see what everyone is up to first.
The living room is empty. In the dining room, I only find Heidi, Axel, and a very relieved-to-see-me Trinity.
“Morning, Hope.”
“Hey, Trin. Where are the guys?”
“War room. Church.”
Odd.
Heidi turns around and flashes a quick smile at me.
“How’re you doing, Heidi?”
She lifts her shoulders. “Okay, I guess. More nervous about getting there on time and stuff.”
Trinity lays a soft hand on my arm. “I’ll grab you breakfast, Hope.”
“That’s fine, Trinity. I’ll come help.”
Trinity grabs Axel’s empty plate, and I follow her into the kitchen.
“Is everything okay?” I ask quietly.
As we’re walking, she glances at me over her shoulder. “Yeah. Heads up—Sway and Tawny are on their way up for the funeral.”
“Oh. That’s nice of them.”
She snorts out a soft breath. “More than likely, he’s using it as an excuse to come up for something else.” Her explanation surprises me since Trinity always advises me to “play dumb” when it comes to club business.
“Are you worried?” I ask her.
She shrugs. “Not really.” A nervous smile twitches at the corners of her mouth. “I won’t be offended if you want to boss me around in front of Tawny.”
A harsh chuckle bursts out of me. “Yeah, that’s not happening, Trin.”
She pulls another sad shrug. “I’m not an ol’ lady, Hope.”
“I don’t give a fuck. You’re my friend.”
Her eyes widen, and this time she genuinely laughs. “Wow, look at you with the potty mouth.”
“What are you talking about? I swear all the time.”
Our silly discussion is interrupted by Rock and Wrath entering the kitchen. “You girls okay?” Rock asks, his gaze dashing between the two of us.
“Yeah, Hope’s just cussing like a sailor.”
Rock’s eyebrow quirks up.
Wrath shakes his head. “Cinderella,” he mock-scolds me.
Rock settles his hand on my shoulder. “Eat breakfast yet?”
“No, I just—”
“I got it, Rock,” Trinity interrupts.
“Thanks, honey.” Rock takes my hand, tugging me toward the door.
“Rock—” I start to protest, but he cuts me off.
“I need to talk to you for a second.”
“Oh.” I turn to apologize to Trinity, but she’s alread
y wrapped up in an intense discussion with Wrath.
I practically have to run to keep up with Rock he’s moving so fast. He glances at the champagne room but keeps moving past it. I’m so confused. Does he need to talk to me, or is he looking for a place to have a quickie? It doesn’t seem like the right time for the latter. We end up in his office next to the war room.
Z’s in there working on the computer. “Need me to leave, prez?”
“No. Stay.”
Okay, so not a quickie. “Rock, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, doll.” He points to an empty chair across from his desk. After we’re both seated, Z turns to face us. Rock runs his hand through his hair before opening his mouth. “Tawny and Sway are coming up for the funeral.”
“Okay,” I answer slowly. “Trinity mentioned it.”
Rock’s mouth twists down. “It’s normal for other charters to come in for a family funeral. Teller didn’t want it for his grandmother.”
Thinking over some of the nasty allegations she made about the club during the custody dispute, I understand why.
“But Sway found out.” He flashes a look at Z, who remains poker-faced. “And he wanted to come up.”
“Okay.”
“I know you have your hands full with Heidi—”
“But you need me to entertain Tawny?”
Relief washes over his face. “Yes, she likes you, so it shouldn’t be a problem.”
That’s news to me, but I’m happy to hear it.
Rock squeezes my hand to get my attention. “I don’t think they’re spending the night—”
“It’s fine. I’ll do my best.”
“I know you will. She’ll probably want to mother Heidi a little, so that’ll make things easier.”
Tawny didn’t strike me as the “motherly” type, but she did raise two kids of her own, so who knows?
“Trinity’s taking care of setting things up at the grandmother’s for after the funeral.” Rock continues.
Wow, good thing because that hadn’t even crossed my mind. “That reminds me, Rock. You know I told you on the trip Tawny had some… opinions on how I should treat Trinity. And before you guys came in, Trinity… Well, never mind. I’m not saying this to be difficult, but I’m not going to treat Trin like shit just so I can look like a proper ol’ lady in front of Tawny.” Good grief, that sounded ridiculous.
Z bursts out laughing. Rock takes a deep breath before he lets out his own chuckle.
I feel weird talking about this in front of Z, but I don’t know if I’ll have another chance. “Rock, you know I don’t ever want to do anything that reflects badly on you or this club, but I won’t—”
“Baby, stop. It’s fine. I would never ask you to behave differently. And I love how good you are to Trinity. Thank you.”
Z watches me with an intent expression that makes me flush. He probably thinks I’m an idiot.
Rock takes my hand and stands, pulling me up with him. “Z and I may need to take off for a little while after the funeral. Murphy will be sticking with you. I’ll catch up with you guys at the grandmother’s house or here.”
I glance down at Z, but he’s got his back to us again. “All right.”
My eyes search Rock’s face. I know there’s about a thousand things he’s not telling me, but I can’t worry about any of it. Heidi is my priority today—and apparently now Tawny.
“Go get some breakfast. It’s going to be a long day,” Rock finally says.
“Did you eat?”
He flashes a soft smile. “Yeah, doll, I’m good.”
“Z, you need anything?” I ask.
“I’m all set, sugar. Thanks.”
Stretching up on tiptoes, I give Rock a quick kiss on the cheek. He holds me still for a longer kiss, and my arms automatically wrap around his waist. Forgetting where we are for a moment, I let out a soft moan.
“Seriously, guys?” Z grumbles.
“That’s some fuckin’ woman you got there, prez,” Z says after the door closes behind Hope.
Scrubbing my hands over my face, I answer. “I know.” I can’t help but respect that as much as Hope wants to please me and fit into my world, she won’t sacrifice what’s important to her to do it. Her loyalty to me, to my club—her refusal to betray Trinity to impress someone else? Yet another example of why I love her so much.
“That other situation needs to resolve itself soon,” Z points out.
“I know,” I say again. “It will. Give him time.” Honestly, I don’t think even ol’ lady status will make Tawny treat Trinity any better.
Z shakes his head.
“Let’s worry about one thing at a time. You find anything?”
“Yeah. I got a hit. Small shop in New Hampshire. Brother’s telling the truth.”
That’s nice for a change. “Well, thank fuck.”
Sway needs some of the guns returned that we helped ourselves to on his little adventure.
Wrath’s vote was for Sway to go fuck himself.
That’s why he’s not the president.
Not that I like the situation either. It makes us look weak. Sway apologized profusely and has promised to reimburse us with a cash amount. I suppose he expects me to turn it down.
If so, he’s going to be disappointed.
Z stands up and stretches. “I’ll go give Murphy a hand.”
“Thanks. If you want to punch him a few times for me, I won’t complain.”
Z snickers on his way out the door.
My stomach rumbles as I leave Rock’s office. Classical music wafts out of the champagne room and piques my curiosity. It’s not every day you hear Tchaikovsky played in the clubhouse. The door stands slightly ajar; otherwise, I’d never peek inside.
I recognize the girl dancing, and now I understand how she got her nickname. Saying Swan’s graceful is trite and doesn’t quite express her movements. As she spins, she spots me watching her and stops.
“I’m so sorry… I heard the music… and the door…” I stammer out. “You’re amazing.”
She cocks her head to the side. “Thanks, Hope,” she answers softly. I’ve never noticed the faint trace of an accent before.
“Were you a ballet dancer?”
“Yes. My whole family danced.”
“Wow. Well, you’re really good.”
Her cheeks turn pink, and she looks away. “Thank you. I try to practice when I can. Rock gave me the okay to dance at Crystal Ball too, but it’s not quite the same.”
I can’t help laughing at that. “No. I imagine it’s not.”
She snaps off the radio and throws on a T-shirt over her leotard. “I’m sorry. I like to use the space here because of the mirrors, but with everything—”
“No, Swan, I’m sure it’s fine.”
Her face twists. “I want to be there for Teller, but he told me not to come, so—”
“Oh.” I had no idea they were… whatever, so I’m not sticking my nose in that. “I, uh, don’t think it’s just you. I heard he asked Rock not to have the other clubs come or anything,” I say lamely.
She looks very hopeful. “Oh. Okay.”
“I know Trinity has to get a lot of stuff together. I’m sure she’d appreciate the help,” I suggest.
“Yeah, I can do that.”
“Well, I need to eat. I’m sorry I interrupted you.”
She stares at me with surprise. “No problem. Thanks.”
Heidi and Axel are gone when I return to the dining room. Wrath’s sitting by himself, finishing breakfast.
“Why are you out here alone?” I ask when I get closer.
He flicks his blue eyes my way and shrugs.
“I just talked to Swan. She’s going to give Trinity a hand.”
He raises an eyebrow at me. “That’s good.”
A well-behaved Wrath is unsettling. “Are you okay?”
This time I get his regular devious smirk. “Yes, sugar.”
“Need anything?”
“Nope.”
&nb
sp; Whatever’s bothering him isn’t my problem, so I continue into the kitchen. Trinity has platters of food and boxes with paper plates, napkins, and utensils laid out all over the place.
“Damn, you work fast. I wasn’t even gone twenty minutes.”
She glances up and smiles. “Prepped most of it last night.”
“Swan said she’s coming in to help.”
“Good.”
Feeling pretty useless, I grab what I want for breakfast and eat it standing up while talking to Trinity. As I’m finishing, Swan wanders in and asks where she should start.
“We’ve got this, Hope. You should check on Heidi,” Trinity says.
I take that as my cue to leave.
Getting the girls in the car was like herding a bunch of otters. Hope’s indecisive and running late on a good day. A day like today? It’s not her family, but I still don’t think a funeral is on her list of things to do—ever. Not on mine either. Already been to far too many in my life.
Heidi is, well, a teenage girl. She burst into tears because she couldn’t find the right color lip-gloss or some shit.
I like to think I’m an understanding guy, but goddamn.
I didn’t feel guilty at all about waiting downstairs and letting Hope deal with that shit. And thank God for her, because Trinity looked as baffled as I felt.
Murphy seems to have set a goal of working my last nerve today. Assigning him to watch Hope finally shut him the fuck up—because he knows Hope will be attached to Heidi.
I swear to fuck, some days managing these guys is as drama-ridden as managing the strippers at Crystal Ball.
Lucky me, I’ve finally got Hope, Murphy, Heidi, and Axel in my SUV on the way to the funeral. I’m amused as fuck watching Murphy in my rearview. Hope breaks the tension by turning around in her seat to engage him in conversation. A few times, she has to reach out and tap him on the leg when he’s a little too focused on Heidi and Axel snuggled up together.
It’s gonna be a long afternoon.
The graveside service is brief and to the point. Tawny and Sway met us halfway and followed Rock’s truck up to the private cemetery. The guests are definitely divided in half. On one side sits Heidi with her biker family—a sea of black leather Lost Kings MC cuts. The other side appears to be made up of Mrs. Whelan’s friends. Elderly women and a few gentlemen in shades of blue and black polyester. Their side seems to have clear opinions about our side.