Or am I just being the cynical person I’ve become since learning just how easy it is to lie to people online?
Cybercrimes are an increasing problem with the loads of data primarily online, and I refuse to be a victim. Although I don’t feel like I’m being catfished, I can never discount the possibility.
He asked you to coffee, not for your social security number.
“I work mostly from home.”
“Man, I wish I could do that. Not having to leave my apartment would be amazing. Nothing but pajamas and Door Dash for days.”
I chuckle because apparently, I’m living his dream.
“It’s a pretty sweet gig.”
“What company do you work for?”
“I’m an independent contractor,” I reply immediately, and just as quickly regret it. It’s too much information.
“So, you’re the epitome of success. Nice.”
I smile, unable to keep my lips from tilting up. I know my life is amazing. I know there are tons of people who wish they could do what I do.
“Any animals?”
This is a common question, right? Or is it weird he asked about pets before even asking if I had a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband?
“I have a cat. What about you?”
“I have a bird. I wonder if they’d be friends.”
“Aren’t they natural enemies?” Is this another sign?
God, I’m driving myself crazy right now.
“Maybe?” It sounds like he’s actually contemplating it. “But you won’t even meet me for coffee and you’re wondering if our pets will get along? Who’s being overeager now?”
“Asshole.” I chuckle because he’s got me there.
“I have a question.” Here we go. Nothing good comes from those words. It’s almost as bad as I’m not trying to offend you, but… “I know you aren’t ready to meet, but what about giving me your number? So we can text during the day rather than having to wait until the evening to chat on here.”
I grow silent once again, but my fingers fly over my keyboard, already making an account on a popular chat app.
“Fair warning, I’m kind of addicted to memes and animal videos, so if you aren’t interested in getting bombarded with those, you might want to say no.”
And now he’s aware of my kryptonite?
“I love animal videos, but the memes that make me laugh the most are actually pretty offensive.”
It’s his turn to laugh. “Thank God, because I’m the same way.”
“Really offensive,” I clarify. “Dark humor, extremely sexual, and of course ones that make me ask too soon? Because if you can’t joke about the horrors in the world in real time, I think people will go crazy.”
“Did we just become best friends?”
“Maybe,” I answer, but my head is firing off all sorts of warning signs.
He’s so agreeable. Through Orc’s Realm we’re so compatible, it’s growing scary, a little too coincidental.
Would it be the same in real life? Is it possible, just by pure luck I found a guy online—something my parents are convinced would never happen—that is my perfect match, a complete reflection of myself in male form?
I really need to talk to Sarah about all of this, but she’s pro-dating, and I know she’d tell me I was a fool for turning down his offer of coffee from the start.
“So, your number?” he prods.
“I can’t give you that.”
“Maybe I should stop ask—”
“Are you familiar with the TalkToMe app?”
“No.”
“It’s an app that allows you to chat without disclosing any personal information.”
“I didn’t know that an app like that existed.”
“It’s rated one of the safest apps there is.”
“Is it like one of those apps that conversations disappear from? One the kids are using these days to sell drugs and engage in prostitution?”
“I don’t think so.”
“So it’s not an app that hides conversations so people can cheat on their spouses?”
“How would I know? I just created an account.”
“Just for me?”
“I’m sorry?”
“You created the account just so you can talk to me? I’m flattered.”
And there he goes again with that damn charm. Also, why is his damn voice so husky, his quick laugh so mesmerizing that I find myself making jokes just to hear it over and over again?
“Do you want my username or not?”
“Of course I do.”
I pause before handing over that information. It may not seem like a big deal to many but initiating something like this is very unusual for me. I don’t have social media, or many apps on my phone. Call me paranoid, but tracking happens everywhere, and that is never good for my business. Leaving footprints behind is a big no-no in my field, and I do everything in my power to protect client data.
W45PN357: TalkToMe app username is W45PN357-2
“There,” he says after he types out the message. “Now you can decide if you want to reach out to me. No pressure.”
But I feel pressure, low and deep in my gut, and not the kind that makes me want it to stop.
“Dash 2? Is the original Wasp Nest on the app?”