Rowdy clears his throat, never taking his eyes from mine. My eyebrow hitches, but I can feel a soft smile tugging up the corner of my mouth. Alarm grows on his face the longer I stand there without responding, and I’m suddenly saddened by his worry about how I’ll respond.
“Please don’t tell your grandma. I can’t lose my job.”
I open my mouth to tell him that she’s not like that, that she wouldn’t terminate someone just because he’s gay, but honestly, I don’t know my grandma that well. I’d like to think that she’d be fine with it, but it’s not a subject that’s ever come up, and I can’t speak for her.
“Your secret is safe with me,” I assure him.
The new guy still looks nervous, eyes darting everywhere like he’s trying to plan an escape route.
“Who’s your friend,” I prompt when they both seem too reluctant to speak.
Rowdy steps to the side, so the new guy can walk forward. “This is Shawn, my…” His eyes dart between the two of us. “He’s my boyfriend.”
Shawn beams as if that confession is a big deal and he holds out his hand.
“I’m Frankie.” He clasps his hand in mine.
“So you’re the girl that he spends all day flirting with?”
Unease settles in me until I look at Rowdy to find him smiling, and I realize Shawn is joking.
“That’s me.”
Shawn grins wider. “I’ve heard so much about you.”
I don’t respond that I’ve heard a lot about him, too, because I had no idea, and Rowdy’s reluctance to even call him his boyfriend seems like a point of contention in his relationship.
Sensing my nervousness, Shawn releases my hand, but his smile never leaves his face. “Does this make you uncomfortable?”
“This?”
“Finding out that Rowdy is gay and in an active relationship with another man,” he clarifies.
“Not one bit,” I answer truthfully.
The tension flowing off both of them seems to fade into the night surrounding us.
“Well,” I begin, looking back at Zeke’s truck, “I think I’ll head home.”
“Why don’t you hang out with us for a little while,” Rowdy offers.
Shawn nods his encouragement. “We can go back inside the carnival or we can grab something to eat.”
“I’ve already eaten, but I’d love to join you.”
The truth is, I just don’t want to go home. Knowing my luck lately, Nan will be waiting by the door wanting a blow-by-blow of events from tonight. I would never tell her the truth, not to protect Zeke, but to protect her image of me, but I’m still too raw, too flayed open right now to pretend everything is fine.
“There’s an all-night pancake place in the next town over,” Shawn supplies. “Do you want to ride with us or follow us?”
I want to toss Zeke’s keys into the field and leave his truck here to be towed, but that would be immature.
“I’ll follow.”
They both smile at me before walking toward Rowdy’s truck twenty yards away. I climb into Zeke’s truck, finding it difficult to move the seat forward enough to reach the pedals, and wait for them to pull out.
The drive is short, filled with silence and remorse for the things I did tonight. I wouldn’t be angry about sharing so many firsts with Zeke if he treated me respectfully after it was over. It’s his penchant for turning into a complete jerk that pisses me off.
My eyes are burning once again as we pull into the all-night diner, and I take a few moments just sitting in the cab of the truck to get myself together. As if sensing I need a minute alone, Shawn and Rowdy wait for me to climb out before they do the same.
If they can see my puffy eyes or the heat tinting my cheeks for being so weak, they don’t mention it. Rowdy slings his arm around my shoulders, just like he would if we were back on the ranch.
“They have crepes that will change your entire world,” Shawn whispers as a smiling waitress shows us to a booth.
I frown at their distance when Rowdy chooses to sit beside me rather than sitting beside his man. It’s a cruel world, and I imagine things are even worse in a region dominated by extremely religious people.
“I’ll take your word for it,” I tell Shawn as we accept the menus and place our drink orders. “I ate too much at the fair. There’s no way I could eat anything else.”
I don’t tell them I forgot my wallet like I did with Zeke earlier because I legitimately am still full from supper, but I have a feeling that if I were hungry, neither Shawn nor Rowdy would bat an eye at paying for my meal.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Rowdy asks.
I shake my head. I don’t even know how I feel about everything that has happened over the last several weeks.