Her hands open and close like she’s feeling that very thing now.
“It’s the same with you,” I confess.
Slowly, she turns around, and although I expected her to be ashen, the way she was the last time we were in my room, her cheeks are full of color, and her eyes sparkle with vibrancy.
I hate the fact that she was sick for so long, and I was so wrapped up in winning her over that I didn’t even recognize the signs of her pending illness. This beautiful girl could’ve died while I was so focused on making her mine that I didn’t even see it. Add that to the ever-growing list of shit I did wrong where she’s concerned.
“Why have you been ignoring me?”
Straight to the point. It’s pure Piper, and I shouldn’t have expected anything less.
“You were in that hospital because of me.”
“I was in the hospital because the doctors missed something before I was released, or the bleed was delayed. Neither reason is because of you.”
“The accident was my fault,” I tell her.
“I was driving. That means the accident was my fault.”
Knowing she’s going to argue every single point I make, I cross the room to my desk. From the window, it creates the greatest distance between us that the room allows, and it’s already hard enough not going to her and wrapping her in my arms. This is worse than I imagined it would be. Sharing the same space with her, knowing what we were going to do the last time we were in here is killing me. My brain and body are getting on the same page, and that can only mean trouble for my resolve.
“We can’t be together,” I tell her, my back straightening as I say the words.
“Care to elaborate?” She watches my face as if she’s a life-sized lie detector. “And don’t give me any of that bull about the things that happened in the past.”
Repeatedly swallowing doesn’t remove the lump that’s threatening to cut off my air supply in my throat, but she’s patient, waiting for me to speak again.
“I saw your thighs, Piper.” My words come out on a whisper, reminding me just how upset I was the other day.
I wanted to make her feel good, to run my mouth all over her like I’d brazenly promised, only to find the pain she’s always hidden so well under her clothes. The shorts at the pool a few weeks ago make complete sense now.
“So, they disgusted you?”
“Yes,” I admit, and she sucks in a breath.
I can tell she thinks I’m confessing to being disgusted at the sight of her, and for a moment in time, I almost go with it. I almost tell her that I can’t be with a girl who’s marked up like that, but I swore to her I’d always be honest.
“I hate myself for what I made you do. I hate that your gorgeous body will always carry the burden and proof of the pain I’ve caused you.”
“Is that all?” Her question is dry and emotionless.
“I’ve done nothing but destroy you. I’ve done a million things to you for no reason other than because I could.”
“Do you love me?” Only now does her voice crack with her pent-up emotions.
My mouth snaps shut, refusing to admit that right now. It’ll only give her more reason to try to wear me down, and I’m already only hanging on by a thread.
“Because I love you.” My head snaps up. “And I refuse. Are you listening to me? I refuse to get my heart broken this way. How dare you make me fall in love with you, only for you to turn around and decide you’re just not into me! Do you know how ignorant you sound right now?”
The lump in my throat dislodges, but when I open my mouth to speak, it’s clear she isn’t going to give me the opportunity to do so.
“Either you really do feel like I deserve better, and honestly, Dalton, I know I do. I deserve better than a boy who’s only hurt me until that accident. I deserve someone who worships me, someone who isn’t afraid to hold me and tell me how they feel. I deserve so much better than that, but you know what? I didn’t get to choose. I didn’t want to fall in love with you. Hell, I didn’t even want to like you as a person. You made me do this.” Tears fill her eyes, and I stand as she tries to blink them away. “Either you think that, or you don’t care for me at all.”
An incredulous laugh escapes her throat.
“That’s it, isn’t it? This thing between us is what it’s always been. It’s a joke, or a prank or some kind of fun for you at my expense.” She turns to leave, and I want to stop her, but my feet are planted to the floor. “I should’ve known better. I should’ve left well enough alone. Making the sad girl with no friends fall in love with the bully. Just freaking perfect. Have a nice life, Dalton.”