Lynch is behind the wheel, giving me a sympathetic look I don’t deserve, when I turn toward the front of the vehicle.
A guy I recognize from the clubhouse, but never had a conversation with, turns to watch as I settle in the back seat and pull my seatbelt across my chest. The click of the belt echoes inside the vehicle, and I suddenly feel as if I’m on display with both sets of eyes watching me, waiting for me to lose it.
“Sorry about your dad,” the passenger says.
“He wasn’t my dad.”
My eyes burn with unshed tears, the embarrassment of being emotional over a man who never cared about me forcing me to look away. The dreary rain that has moved in fits my mood perfectly. I don’t bother to look back at the home I grew up in as we head down the long drive and out of the swanky neighborhood. I’d never felt whole here anyway, and I doubt I’ll ever step foot back on the property.
There are no stops or detours. Lynch drives us right back to the clubhouse where Xena and Zoe are waiting for me just inside the front door.
“We got her,” Xena tells Kai. Reluctantly, he releases me into their arms.
“Please no,” I murmur, trying to cling to him, unsure why I feel so protected by him, but refusing to question it right now.
“Doll.” His soft hands cup my jaw. “I’m already going to catch shit for being near you, naked in a tub. Let these girls get you cleaned up, and I’ll come back.”
I nod even though I doubt TJ will have a problem with Kai seeing me naked or watching me shower. TJ fucked me in front of the entire club after letting most the women put their mouths on me, after all.
Xena directs me back to TJ’s room and straight into the shower. Xena strips as Zoe helps me out of my clothing. I wish I could be more help, but nothing seems to be working right. Every muscle in my body is heavy, sluggish, and not responding when I urge them to move. She cleans me with economical grace, never once crossing the line into inappropriate. I’m grateful for her help. I feel mothered. It isn’t something I’m at all familiar with.
“Here,” Zoe says as I step out of the shower.
In her palm is a white, oblong pill. I know what it is immediately. “No thanks.”
“The Xanax will help you calm down,” Xena offers with a small smile when I don’t reach for it.
“I’m fine,” I assure them even though I can’t control the trembling in my limbs. I don’t deserve to be numb right now.
Once I’m dressed in TJ’s clean clothes, the girls leave, and I fall into Kai’s strong arms once again.Chapter 40TJ
My feet barely touch the ground when I climb off my bike and sprint through the front door of the clubhouse.
“Wait,” Lynch calls after me when I’m already halfway across the living room, arrowing toward the hallway.
I stop only because I’m frantic, and I don’t want her to freak out any more than she already is.
“She's pretty shaken up. I don’t know her well at all, but she’s been trembling like a leaf since we arrived at her parents’ house. Kai is in bed with her.” My teeth grind together so hard my jaw aches. “Don’t give me that alpha male bullshit. If anyone else got near her, she trembled like a scared Chihuahua. He’s the only one that’s been able to ease her nerves.”
My hand skates over the top of my head in frustration, and it takes everything I have not to roar out my agitation, not because Kai is comforting her, but because I wasn’t here to protect her from her piece of shit dad.
“Zoe tried to give her a Xanax, but she refused. She’s only been sleeping for about an hour.”
“What did you find at her parents’ house?” I have to ask him because I need to know and don’t plan on speaking with Kaci about it unless she wants to open up to me.
“There was a struggle from what I could tell. He fell and clocked his neck just in the right spot. It was a quick death. An honest to god freak accident from the looks of it.”
“He didn’t deserve that,” I mutter, my hands growing increasingly antsy to get to her.
“We strung him up. If we get lucky, the police will only look at the big picture. He’s been out of the political spotlight for a while according to Virus.”
“Nothing exciting happens in Newbury. Two suicides in the same family in less than three days? That’s gonna draw some attention.” Almost three, my mind chooses to remind me of how Kaci left our last conversation. I was terrified of what I was going to find when I got here, blaming the tears running down my cheeks on the high speeds my bike hit on the way home to her.