My eyes burn with frustration from being so far away as cold fear washes over me with how her voice sounds right now.
“I should’ve let you tell me you loved me last night. It would’ve been nice to hear.”
“I love you,” I scream, but I’m met with three beeps telling me that she has disconnected the call.
With shaking hands, I call her back immediately only to be sent straight to fucking voicemail.
“Lynch,” Briar says and shoves his phone in my face before I can completely freak out.
“Go fucking get her,” I hiss into the phone.
“We’re leaving now,” my brother assures me.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I roar, pacing around in a circle. “She’s in fucking trouble. I think she’s going to hurt herself.”
I have enough wherewithal not to yell that she’s just killed her father since we are standing outside a very busy gas station.
“We’re on our way,” he assures me again.
“You’re an hour and a half away. You may be too late. I’m coming home.”
“You’re going to calm down before you get back on your fucking bike.” I hear an engine crank in the background. “Becoming roadkill isn’t going to help her. I’m sending Ronan to meet the guys and pick up your product for New York.”
“T-take Molly and Zoe with you,” I stammer.
“I’m taking care of things here. I don’t know exactly what I’m walking into over there, and I refuse to put our sister and my girl in any danger. Let the other guys know what’s going on, and I’ll see you back at the clubhouse.”
“I can’t live in a world where she doesn’t exist,” I murmur, my body already going cold with the fear of what she’s capable of when left to her own tortured thoughts.
“No talking like that, brother. Let me handle this.”
The phone goes dead, so I do the only thing I’m capable of, and I call her phone again. As anticipated it goes directly to voicemail, and that increases the terror settling in my stomach.
“I’ve got to head back,” I tell Briar as I hand him back his phone. “Ronan will meet you guys at the hotel and head to New York with Sonic.”
“I think you need to take a minute.”
Somehow the hand on my shoulder is enough to stop me in my tracks before I can sling my leg over my bike.
My eyes find Briar’s, and I’m so fucking grateful that he’s here. He’s like a brother to me, and the only man other than Lynch who can reason with me when I’m spiraling out of control.
“She killed her dad,” I mutter. “She’s going to hurt herself.”
He’s silent for a long moment. He doesn’t tell me everything will be fine. We’ve faced too much shit in our lives to make assurances like that.
“You need to get home safely.” His hand clamps on my shoulder again. “Tell me you’re okay to ride safely.”
I nod, knowing I can get close to halfway home before Lynch even makes it to her parents’ house.
“I’ll be safe.”
“Fly like the wind, brother.” He squeezes my shoulder one more time before releasing me so I can leave.
After three long calming breaths, I swing my leg over my bike and crank it. I don’t look back as I get on the Turnpike and head for home, unsure if I’ll live through the night.Chapter 39Kaci
Chills rack my body, but I’ve given up trying to fight the cold. Even the noises coming from downstairs aren’t enough to pull me from the tub. The water went frigid long ago, and yet I remain, chilled to the bone and shivering, unable to move from this spot.
At first, I let my mind imagine that I didn’t shove my father to his death, and any minute now he will storm up the stairs, spit more vitriol my way, and insist I leave his house and never come back. With my mother gone, there’s nothing left for me here. I can’t help but wonder if doing what she did would be best for me.
The noise below me could be the police, uniformed officers or that horrible detective from Andover ready to shackle my hands and feet as he proudly announces that I’ll never see freedom again. Is that the best outcome? I need to pay for my sins, that much is clear. It’s just deciding which steps to take that has me indecisive.
“Envy?”
With swollen eyes, I look up to see TJ’s brother standing in the open doorway of the bathroom. Relief washes over his face, but that doesn’t make any sense. He had to have seen what I did downstairs.
For some strange reason, I’m not afraid of him. He’s not even trying to look at my naked flesh, but I still drag my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around my legs.
“TJ said you might need a little help here,” Lynch continues. “Is everything okay?”