“Let me,” I lick at her lips. “Let me make you feel good.”
“Turn off the lights,” she urges as I reach for the hem of her shirt.
“I want you to watch me. I need you to see us.” I refuse to let her hide from me.
Her head nods as if she believes she’s answered a question. I can only relinquish so much power here. I have my own demons after all. In my gut, I know what I’m offering has the ability to end with epically disastrous consequences, but I’m not strong enough to resist. Offering her pleasure on the heels of hearing her confess her ten-month brutalization has got to be the worst decision ever, but the train has left the station, and it’s only gaining momentum.
My hands tremble, betraying my inexperience in situations like this when my fingers ghost down her arm. I don’t do soft and sweet. I’ll get a girl off, but it comes as a consequence to my own pleasure, not as a response to hers. Somehow, deep inside, I know Kaci Stewart is different. She’s one of a kind. She’s everything I didn’t know I needed, and everything I’ve fought against for as long as women have been trying to hitch themselves to me. For the first time in my life, I’m terrified of a woman, of what she can do to me, of what she means to me, but I shut down the voices in my head telling me to get my ass out of there and never come back.
“Undress me, please,” I urge as she sits as still as a statue on her bed. She has to be an active participant in this, or she’ll end up right back in her head. It’s the last thing either of us need. Being rejected by her one more time may be what sends me into my own fucking spiral.
Her hands shake as much as mine as she reaches for my belt buckle, but I wait as patiently as I can manage as she slides the leather away. Warm fingers sweep inside my jeans as she works open the button, but I’m teetering on the edge as the sound of my zipper lowering echoes around the otherwise silent room.
“Jesus this is killing me,” I confess, but when her lips tilt up in a soft smile, I know I’d stand on the edge of her bed forever if it’s what she needs.
“Do you want me to suck you?” she asks, never taking her eyes off my cock as she pushes down my jeans and boxer briefs.
“I—” I swallow when the word comes out on a moan. “I want you to do whatever you want.”
Her shaking fingers wrap around my dick, and I nearly lose it when her tongue swipes over her lips.
“I don’t know what I want,” her confession is softer than a whisper.
“Do you trust me?” I’ve asked her once before and her response was accurate, but I’m hoping she understands that asking again is situational.
“Y-yes,” she responds.
I move into action, tugging my shirt over my head before bending at the waist to untie my boots. After kicking them off, my jeans and boxers are the last to be discarded. Before I climb on the bed, I grab a rubber from my jeans. It feels like I haven’t fucked in decades, but in my head, I know the condom hasn’t expired, so I toss it on her pillow before lowering my mouth to hers.
“We don’t have to do this,” I assure her before licking at her lips.
“I want to.” She’s breathless and still shaking, but instead of leaning away from me, she reaches up to wrap those trembling fingers in the hair at the nape of my neck. She did the same thing when we were dancing weeks ago, and the reminder has me pulling my head back to look into her eyes.
“No drugs or alcohol today?”
She gives me a wry smile, but she shakes her head no. It’s all the confirmation I need. With my right arm, I swoop behind her lower back and urge her to lie down. I’m on top of her and between the opening she’s allowed between her thighs an instant later.
“I haven’t done this before.” The words leave my mouth before I can stop them.
She chuckles. “I seriously doubt that.”
“I mean—” I lick at her throat—“I haven’t made love to a woman before.”
She tenses in my arms, and I’m certain I’ve lost her, but the second my tongue touches the shell of her ear, she moans and settles in my arms.
“I have fucked more women than I can even remember, but I’ve never given a single one the attention I’m going to give you. I’ve never—” I turn us so I’m on my back and she’s straddling my thighs. The black lace covering her perfect cunt is more picturesque than snow falling on the mountains. “Given a woman all the power.”