No way. “I’ll help.”
“Nope.” He shook his head, several white strands of hair falling over his forehead. “You’re already involved in this mess, so there’s nothing I can do about that, but I can make sure you don’t actually handle the goods.”
I anchored my hands on my hips and stared up at him. He wasn’t doing this without me, wasn’t taking the responsibility and the blame for his own. I was involved now; he was right about that. And I would be doing my part; he was so wrong about me not handling the goods. “I’m going to help.”
“Nope,” he repeated. “Sorry.”
My eyes narrowed to tiny slits. He hated that he had to break the law, I realized that. And he didn’t want me to have to hate it, as well. The more time I spent with Erik, the more I peeled away his layers and discovered the honorable guy underneath. But I wasn’t going to let him do this alone.
“I want to help the Outers, Erik, and I’m willing to break the law to do it. Let me help. Please. Let me make a difference. What we’re doing isn’t something we should be ashamed of. This needs to be done.”
A pause. Heavy, unsure. Wistful.
Then the flatness of his dark eyes began to give way to light, a shining gold. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a girl like you, Camille.” He kissed me again, lingering this time. Savoring.
“I’ve ignored aliens most of my life, not helping when they were teased and taunted. I think it’s time I crawled out from under my rock and saw the world for what it really is: a sometimes violent place in need of change and more people willing to step out and do something good, something right.” And maybe one day, I thought, I’ll be able to do even more. Maybe I’d be able to actually change the law.
Hopefully my dad had already started…
Hope rushed through me. By now, my mom had to have told him what I’d said. My dad had to have paid attention and was now doing everything in his power for the cause.
The cause. My cause. Our cause. Tolerance. Acceptance of differences.
“Time is our enemy, I’m assuming,” I said, all business, “so show me where that Onadyn is.”
Without any more hesitation, Erik ushered me out of the foyer and into a room at the top of the staircase. No, not a room. A laboratory. The air smelled sterile, layered with chemicals. Throughout the entire enclosure, there were long tables, each loaded down with decanters and pots. Lab coats hung on the hooks beside the door, as well as boxes of gloves. There was even a stove—or what looked to be a stove with four fire rings.
“It’s amazing, really,” Erik said. “The stuff in here can kill humans in the blink of an eye but it can save certain Outers just as quickly. Be careful. Don’t touch anything that has liquid inside.” He moved forward, but paused midstep. “I don’t want you to suffocate.”
Me either.
“It’s an ugly death. The skin turns blue, flaky, and sinks in. The eyes bug out. Limbs flail as the body fights for a single drop of breathable air.”
Images played through my mind and I cringed at the horror of it.
“Most humans have accepted our visitors. But there are still those who fear them. I understand that fear, I really do, because some aliens can walk through walls or simply disappear. Some can control our actions with their minds. But like humans, there are good and bad.”
I’m guilty of that fear myself, I thought, a little sadly. Never again, I vowed.
Erik raked a hand through his hair. “I was never allowed here, though I fought and fought to gain an invitation. Funny that it took an A.I.R. arrest to get me in.” He gave me another of those swift kisses. For strength? It was almost as if he couldn’t stop himself, as if he had to kiss me. Was compelled by a force greater than himself to do it.
I hoped he would never stop.
“Look around. I’m going to check the Onadyn and make sure the vials are sealed properly before you touch them.”
“Okay.”
He strode to a cabinet in back, opened the doors by cutting the ID wires and rehooking them. ID boxes were supposedly thief proof, but I’d seen him bypass many with ease.
I walked to the closest table and lifted one of the empty decanters. There was a blue crust on the rim. Careful not to actually touch it, I sniffed. There was a subtle hint of…jasmine? Orchid? Some type of flower, definitely.
“Have you ever tried Onadyn?” I asked, setting the bottle down.
“No,” Erik said. “Never.”
“Ever thought about it?”
Several seconds ticked by in silence. I glanced over at him. He had his back to me and was rummaging through a metal box. “Yeah,” he finally said. “Once or twice after I was kicked out of A.I.R. and faced a lifetime of imprisonment. I wasn’t sure I could go on. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go on.”
I lifted another glass, one with pink striations on the bottom. Glitter seemed to cake the inside of it, like a snow globe. “What stopped you?”
He shrugged. “Thoughts of death. Addiction. Most of all, thoughts of becoming sloppy and forgetting who I am, caring only about my next high.”
Before I could reply, a board creaked. The sound scared me and I froze, heart hammering. Erik didn’t seem to notice or mind, so I forced myself to relax. “I don’t understand why we’re stealing from Silver’s dad. We could have asked him and saved ourselves the trouble of breaking in.”
“He never would have given us what we needed and now that A.I.R.’s found me, I’m sure they’ve frozen my accounts. I wouldn’t have been able to buy it.”
“But I thought Silver’s dad was sympathetic to the cause.”
“He is, but only for his family. Everyone else has to pay. He’s gotten used to his lifestyle, I guess.”
I pushed out a sigh. “Silver’s cheating his dad, then. Can we trust him not to change his mind and tattle?”
“Yeah. It’s, uh, not the first time he’s had to go to such lengths.” A pause, then a happy whoop. “Found it!” He pocketed several small vials of clear liquid. I’d never done Onadyn, either, and didn’t ever want to—for all the reasons he’d named.
“One day we might get a medal of honor for this,” I told him. Did I believe it? No. But it was a nice thought.
He tossed me a grin, the expression somehow sad.
“Well, it’s possible,” I said, refusing to back down.
Several more vials found their way into his pockets. “So is this the wildest thing you’ve ever done?” he asked, changing the subject.