“You were going to kill me,” I remind him before sleep rushes in and washes everything else away.Chapter 39Lynch
I’m lost in my own head, somehow conscious but not fully present. Zoe, that’s who she is to me now, Candi no longer exists, breathes calmly against me. It soothes the fear of what might happen when she wakes up, even though it’s inevitable.
It’s been hours. The bright light that filled the room earlier has turned to only dusky hints of sunlight as nightfall rapidly approaches.
The thump of music in the living room is familiar. What happened downstairs, the brutality of Miller’s death only affects one person today. The outcome may have been a little different than what any of us expected, but bloodshed and vengeance are a common occurrence around here. It’s a need we sate often.
Zoe whimpers, shifting her weight slightly as I’m sure nightmares infiltrate her slumber.
“Shh, baby,” I console and pull her tighter against me. It works, and she calms, just like she did the last five times she grew uncomfortable in her sleep.
The need to tell her everything, to lay it all out on the line when she wakes is an internal battle I’ve been struggling with since she gave in to her body’s need to rest. I can confess my sins, vocalize all of my transgressions and hope she’ll still love me when the dust settles, but what if she doesn’t?
What if she demands to be cut loose?
What do I do then?
I can’t let her walk away knowing details of the things that will land me in prison or earn a government-funded needle in my arm.
Can I?
The longer I mull over my future, the easier it is to recognize that I have to tell her. Not telling her, letting her believe what she wants, or some concocted truths of her own are even more dangerous. If I spill my guts and she still wants to leave, she’ll walk away with my heart, so what’s the fucking point of living after that anyway?
I won’t force her to stay, but if she walks away from me, she’ll do it full of all of my truths and the full knowledge that I’m not going to change. She can walk away knowing that she was loved by the devil and survived because I won’t do a single fucking thing to harm her. Hell, I wasn’t capable of it when we were downstairs before the video arrived that saved her in the eyes of my men.
My blood runs thick and hot with the need to teach TJ a fucking lesson for the way he handled her. Even knowing that I would’ve done the same for a woman that betrayed him, I want him to hurt, to feel the pain I felt when he gripped her head so hard she drew her own blood.
I won’t however. He didn’t betray me. He followed orders as soundly as I’d expect any of my soldiers to do.
Another whimper from Zoe pulls my dark thoughts back to her.
She chose me.
Over her own damn father, she chose me.
That’s something with teeth. It’s something we can build a future on. I’ve never chosen anyone or anything over this fucking club, but I know with every beat of my black heart that she changes everything.
She is everything.
If she wanted me to shrug off my fucking cut and leave it in the dirt so we could walk off into the sunset hand in hand, I’d smile down at her and never look back.
The gentle knock at the door pulls me from my sacrificial thoughts, and the only other woman in my life I could never walk away from slowly pushes the door open. This club is her destiny also. Walking away isn’t an option, no matter how much I dream of a different life.
“Hey,” Molly whispers as she sticks her head in the door. “She still asleep?”
I don’t answer her because it’s clear her friend is crashed on my chest.
“I brought her some juice and crackers for when she wakes up.” Molly places the glass and plate on the bedside table.
She doesn’t crinkle her nose or shy away from the fact that her closest friend is snuggled in my arms. She doesn’t act the way I would if I walked in and saw her doing the same against the chest of my best friend. A cold chill runs down my spine at just the thought of Briar touching her in any way that isn’t brotherly. I’d have to find a different way to torture him since his cock doesn’t seem to mean much to him.
“She’s too pure for this life,” Molly whispers.
I could disagree with her, argue that things changed downstairs, that Zoe won’t wake up the same woman she was when her beautiful brown eyes blinked away the sunshine this morning. However, it isn’t my story to tell. Molly won’t know the details of what happened unless Zoe wants to share them with her.