As I soak in her enthusiasm, it occurs to me for the first time that I’m on dangerous ground with this woman. Not only am I more attracted to her than I’ve ever been to a woman in my life, I also admire her. Reese has a passion for her work. She didn’t just move on after having her heart broken by her shitty ex, she moved on and up—becoming an even better version of herself, from what I can see.
“So you must be responsible for those chocolate baskets I’ve heard so much about,” I say.
She grins. “You’ve heard about my baskets?”
“Yeah, one of my teammates’ wives loves them.”
“Wow, that…that’s really gratifying for me, thanks for telling me that.”
I wish I could put into words how I’m feeling. I want to tell Reese that I’m proud of her, and wowed by all the things about her that have nothing to do with her looks, but I know anything I say will come out sounding wrong. I decide to stick with letting her do all the talking.
“How long have you been volunteering at the shelter?” I ask.
“About three months.”
The server comes by our table and we place our orders—steak for me and chicken for her. As soon as he leaves, Reese dives right back into talking about the shelter.
“Magnolia has been donating food to the Women’s Mission since it opened. I dropped off the delivery one day and saw a flyer on their message board about needing volunteers to teach classes. I teach a cooking class and a baking class there once a week, and on Thursdays I help make dinner.”
“I can tell from your voice that you love it.”
“I do. If money was no object, I’d be there every day.” She laughs. “Well, maybe I’d volunteer a day or two a week at Magnolia; I do enjoy creating new desserts.”
The server drops off a breadbasket, and I like that Reese reaches for a piece immediately, generously buttering it.
“You haven’t had anything to do with your douchebag ex or your former friends, have you?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “No, no contact at all. I pretty much went off the grid in Switzerland. Only my dad and brother knew where I was and how to reach me. I deleted all my social media accounts, too.”
My smile is wry. “That explains why I couldn’t find you when I tried.”
Reese arches her brows with surprise. “You tried to find me?”
I shrug. “Yeah, a couple months after Kauai. I just wanted to see how you were doing.”
“That’s really nice of you, Knox.” Our eyes meet across the table and I swear I see a flicker of something in hers.
“So, have you been back to Kauai?” she asks.
“Yeah, I did my usual trip there with my teammates in June. It was a little crazier than usual because Luca and Abby have a baby son now. They’re the ones who own the house.”
“Oh.” Her eyes soften. “What’s his name?”
“Alexander. He keeps them on their toes.”
“I bet.”
Before I have a chance to think twice about it, I ask, “Do you want kids someday?”
She seems to mull it over for a bit. “I always did, before…you know. And now, I’d love to have kids, but I don’t think I ever want to get married.”
“Maybe it just hasn’t been long enough since you left your bag-of-dicks ex.”
“I don’t know…I always thought before that finding a life partner gave you this complete feeling. You know what they say about having a better half. But I feel completely complete right now, other than wanting a child at some point. I’m not a half—I’m whole.”
I chuckle and say, “Damn, it’s like I’m looking at the female version of myself.”
“You don’t want to get married, either?”
Looking away, I shrug. “I don’t know. I’d only want to get married if I found one woman who I wanted to be with every day for the rest of my life.”
Reese scrunches her face in doubt, cynicism shining through her eyes. “But no one can know what they’ll want in twenty years, can they? I think marriage is, at best, a blind leap of faith. And I never want to be blind again.”
“Not every man is a shitbag like your ex, you know.”
She lifts a shoulder in a half-shrug. “I just don’t feel like sorting through the rocks to find a diamond.”
Deciding to change the subject, I ask, “How do you like Chicago?”
“Overall, it’s good. The food scene is amazing. But I seriously thought I might freeze to death last winter.”
“Yeah, it gets damned cold here.”
“There were nights I came home from work, took a hot shower and got in bed with like eight blankets.”
“I guess you can take the girl out of California, but you can’t take California out of the girl.”
She laughs. “It’s true. But after walking a mile in the city during a blizzard, I slept better that night than I ever have.”