“Hey, Brendan. In about fourteen years, I’m really going to need your help, okay? Be prepared. We’ll have some serious teenage boy butt to kick.”
“Okay, Pop,” he said before turning his attention back to his game.
Bridget’s voice was groggy. “What are you saying?”
“Did I wake you, luv?”
“No. Your mini-me, Eleanor, did. She’s ready for a snack?”
I handed the twin who had been resting on my left arm to her mother.
Elizabeth remained sleeping on my right. Eleanor latched onto the left breast right away. Bridget had been tandem breastfeeding, which had officially graduated her to my superhero.
“Can I get you anything?” I asked.
“Some water.”
I poured her a cup and watched as she drank it down.
“Now that you’re awake and the guests are gone, I can finally give you your presents.”
“Didn’t you already give me enough?” She smiled.
“Well, Calliope told me about something called a push present. So, I’d been planning to give it to you. I have two presents, actually,” I said, handing her the first item. “This one’s for them.”
Bridget ripped open the wrapping paper to reveal two matching sets of onesies.
She giggled. “Days of the week.”
“To match your knickers. Now they can dress like their mum.”
“Honestly, that is adorable, Simon.”
“Okay, next one’s for you.” I handed her a box and watched as she opened it.
She lifted the white gold necklace and examined the charm, which looked like two letter Js back to back. On the tip of each end was a small diamond.
“Oh my God, it’s beautiful. What a unique design. Why does it look so familiar?”
I opened my wallet and took out the fish hook that I’d extracted from her arse the very first day we’d met. “Because it’s an exact replica of this.”
“That’s the same kind of fish hook that was stuck in my butt the day we first met!”
“Not the same kind. The one and only.”
“You kept it?”
“Bizarre, right? That day, instead of discarding it, I slipped it into my jacket as a memento. That was probably the most unsanitary thing I’d ever done in my entire medical career, but something told me to keep it, that it was important.”
She looked at the hook in my hand and then down at the charm. “This is the strangest yet oddly romantic thing I’d ever received.”
I put the hook back in my wallet before adjusting the necklace around her.
“This is what I’m going to wear on our wedding day,” she said.
Bridget and I had a date set in England a year from now. We figured the twins would be old enough to travel then. I couldn’t wait to show her and Brendan where I grew up.
“Here’s the strange thing about the fish hook,” I said. “It’s a double hook with twin ends. Maybe it was a premonition.” I leaned in to whisper into her ear so that Brendan couldn’t hear. “Even stranger, apparently when Googling double fish hook, I found that it’s also slang for a sexual act in which two middle fingers are inserted into a woman’s arse and then pulled apart. Something we can try when you’re ready.”
“Aw, and that reminded you of me. The symbolism here is overwhelming.” She laughed. “I just can’t believe you kept that thing all this time.”
“It’s proof you hooked me from the very beginning, luv.”